1.  Round Turn And Two Half Hitches

2.  Bowlines

3.  Splicing The Mainbrace

A glorious day, and we took The Boat out for a crabbing trip.  Oh ok then, we took The Boat out because both Son 1 aged 4y 11m and Son 2 aged 2 were so knackered that they were almost certain to fall asleep with the drone of the engine.  It worked perfectly.  They scoffed the frozen Frubes and ice pops I’d put in a flask with some ice cubes for lollies… they each had a sandwich, and Son 1 was already lying down in the cabin. I bribed them of course. “Boys who have a sleep on The Boat can have some chocolate when they wake up.”  Zzzzzzzzzz.  I really did mean to have a go at steering it, but ended up sitting out back in a fold-up chair reading the Sunday supplements, The Man was Captain Seadog at the helm, spotting jellyfish, a line out the back for any fish capable of doing 5 knots.   The sea was turquoise and the coastline was a dazzling green.  We motored a couple of miles round into The Bay.  “We did say we’d moor up and have ice creams,” I reminded The Man.  He headed back Up River.  “The batteries needed a spin anyway.”

We reached a Yacht Harbour and moored on a pontoon.  “I can climb off on my own!” insisted Son 1. He wanted to tie us up and to untie us.  He wanted to play with the fenders, trying to yank them out at just the point a 24 foot boat could crush a Little Boy Arm against the concrete.  He never seems quite so keen to help out and learn at home. Son 2 was just as bad, wanted to walk without his reins and without holding my hand. “You walk on your reins or I pick you up,” I said. He walked on his reins. Son 1 chose a Twister, Son 2 chose a chocolate Mini Milk.  I was reminded of why I only ever let Son 1 have strawberry or vanilla. We went into a Chandlery. Sticky fidget fingers were everywhere and into everything.   On the pontoon, we put out some crab lines. A slow start, but we got 20, with Son 1 as usual doing the hauling in, netting and tipping out into the buckets.  “And me! And me!” said Son 2, walking all the lines together with his fat little legs. A Business Acquaintance of The Man’s came and sat on The Boat.  We all had a beer and basked in the sun.

Back home, Son 1 wanted another picnic.  “Which do you want, to watch telly or have a picnic?” “A picnic! With my Peter Pan flags!”  The Man, Son 1 and Son 2 went out to hand out skulls and crossbones, and Peter Pan bunting.  ”Tay Bears!” called Son 2. “Tay Bears.” The big bag full of cuddly toys came down. I made steak and chips from scratch in half an hour flat.  Son 1 still won’t eat oven chips or stringy chips. Doesn’t like them. Not as nice as Mummy’s. Which, girls, are made by putting a baking tray coated with olive oil into a mark 7 oven, cutting potatoes into chips, microwaving them for seven minutes (with a shake up half way,) drying them off and then coating them in the hot oil from the tray and shoving then in the top of the oven for 10 - 15 minutes to brown off.  Outside on the ground the Captain Hook table cloth was screwed up and the teddies were everywhere.     The boys wanted to eat their meals sitting down with the teddies. We let them. After, they played a kick/hit the balloons game with two of Son 2’s birthday balloons and The Man. The sound of their giggles, shrieks and laughter rang out.  “Son 1, you’re so tired,” said The Man, after Son 1 missed and fell again. He sprang up:”I’m not tired, I’m just happy.”

1.  The Morning After The Night Before

2.  Air Pressure

3.  The Bear Garden

Jaysus if it’s like this the day after one of them is 2, what’s it going to be like when they’re 18?  Son 1 aged 4y 11m had a lie in, Son 2 aged 2 was live and kicking at 7am despite his crackalacking day yesterday and an extremely late night. The Man and I were washing up, rinsing bottles and gathering up leftover paper in bin bags. As far as I could tell, the tally was one bottle of vintage cava, one bottle of white wine, two cartons of pineapple juice and a heck of a lot of stubbies. We let them have a lazy day. They watched Son 1’s new Charlie and The Chocolate Factory DVD.  Yes I  know, but he had a hard week. He had to go to school on the Wednesday with the Best Weather this year, his chosen Party Entertainer dumped us, and he had to go to school on Son 2’s birthday. And it was from Oxfam so I was Saving The World.   

We planned to go to the library after lunch, but a parcel arrived from Younger Sister for Son 2, and Son 1, sick with excitement and sibling rivalry, shrieked so loudly I nearly had him adopted.  It was like he nail-gunned a knitting needle into my ear.  The whole side of my face went numb.  I picked him, carried him up two flights of stairs and hurled him into his bed, closing the blinds and shutting the door. Son 2 and I went into The Town, but every step made my ear hurt, so we came back. I suspect the problem has more to do with my rampant upper respiratory congestion than his high-frequency blast bombs, but I still felt assaulted.  Son 2 fell asleep in the Big Pram on the way back, Son 1 was asleep in his room, so The Man and I had Daytime To Ourselves. We worked on the fish tank. He fiddled with the pipe to the skull and the treasure chest, while I read fascinating facts about the plants he’d bought. We had about three minutes’ Quality Time before Son 2 woke up.

Son 1 pulled out last year’s Birthday Party things. He wanted another Teddy Bear’s picnic, so we let them play outside while I did some food.  The Man was admirable. Spontaneous decision to go outside again - taken well. Arrival of 30+ Teddy Bears from the plastic bag under Son 2’s cot.  Taken Very Well.  Pirate and Peter Pan flags and flagging hung from fences and washing line. Taken Very Well. Children hooting with excitement during meal, Taken Very Well.  The Teddy Bears had salad, green beans, new potatoes, and leftover chicken and cocktail sausages from yesterday.  They went to be at Six O’clock because they were Tired Little Teddy Bears.  Son 1 and Son 2 went considerably later. Taken Very Well.