1.  Wake Me Up

2.  Bad Boys

3.  Freedom

Son 2 aged 18m had an awful night.  I got back late from the Big City, he cried, I went in and he was burning up.  So, worried he had my cold, and worried he needed Mummy Serotonin, I slept with him. And was instantly reminded why I don’t do it.  He just doesn’t sleep if I’m with him.  At one point he had me pressed against the foot of the cot, the bars in the side of my head, as he lay T-boned alongside the pillows, his hard little head shoved into me.  In the morning he cried to get up, his sleeping bag twisted round and round him so he could no longer move.  My head stayed on the pillow.   Son 1 aged 4y 6m came in, chattering.  Son 2 pushed himself up on his arms and smiled.

The Beach By The Garden was the Wednesday trip.  The other two mums were already there.  Son 1 played with Best Friend, Best Friend’s little brother, and 3 year old.  Son 2, flashing through the Seven Dwarfs of Over-Tiredness.  Crabby, Floppy, Clingy, Tetchy, Dozy, Clumsy and Loud.   The four big boys scattered like marbles.  I put the beach tent up, hoping it would keep them all in one place.  They tried to tow it away by the guy ropes.   One Mum went, Son 2 fell asleep At Long Last, and we de-camped to the Garden.   The three big boys played among the young Gunnera on Snake Island, lying on their tummies, watching the fish flicker back and forth in the streams. I bought them ice cream.  They stripped off and played monkeys, eating chocolate ice creams and climbing on railings.

In the evening I picked up one Wednesday Mother and drove over to the other’s.  We drank Cava and sauvignon blanc, and planned virtual dinner parties to stop us talking about children.   We got as far as Jo Brand, Michelle Shocked, Sawyer from Lost, Jane Austen, Jesus and Shakespeare.  We had problems coming up with enough women, and decided Society Was To Blame.  Then we did Which Chef?  And we got back late.

1.  White noise

2.  Peter Pan

3.  Quality time

Lordy, Son 2 aged 10m. 0030am, woke up howling.  He was really hot, so we gave him calpol, water, and put a fan on.  White noise, I thought.  Bound to help him back to sleep.  He just sat up, pointing himself in the fan’s direction (too dark to see it.)  0600 up, wants his feed.  I think in cave baby days the mothers just used to curl up on the bearskin with the snoozing children in the daytime.  It’s the only way this can be evolutionally possible.  On a positive note, because The Man was going away today, he stayed up with Son 2 last night.

The package full of Son 1 aged 3y 10m’s birthday party stuff was delivered to The Office.  I was late back, and completely crashed Wonder Nanny’s finish time.  She was, as always, saintly about it.  Son 1 was just gibbering over his box.  He was allowed to open it; he was allowed to get out the packets and look at them; he was not allowed to open them.  Peter Pan napkins, cups, plates, banners etc everywhere.  Son 2 was absolutely into it too, pulling things out of the box, shaking them, looking at them, making the plastic on the packets rattle and eating them.  “Thank you mummy for my lovely Peter Pan things.  I love them,” said Son 1.  I got kisses, I got cuddles.  And then I got: “My birthday is too long.  I want it now.”  “It’s Son 2’s birthday first,” I said.  ” You need to think about what you want to get him for a present.”  “I know THAT,” said Son 1, crossly.

Got Son 2 to bed.  Got Son 1 to bed.  The Man rang.  Put the side of Son 2’s cot up.  Woke Son 2.  MELTDOWN. Fed him again.  He’s batting his ear madly.  I  wonder if he’s going to,  again, prove me entirely unreasonable and come down with some bug.  I have decided to view the crying not as time stolen from me, and not to think about my delayed food, or the pile of work I still had to do.  Instead I will view it as what I’ve always wanted: more time with the baby.  

1.  Kip

2.  Visitors

3.  Kip

The moment, at 1am, when The Man took over Son 2 aged 10m who had been howling for two hours, was a Good Thing.  Jaysus, once that child gets over-tired there is nothing to be done with him.  I held him ,I rocked him, I lay beside him on the double bed.  Each time he went to sleep, and each time, as soon as I put him in the cot… MELTDOWN.   So loud it hurt my teeth. And then he woke up again at 0530.  And so did Son 1 aged 3y 10m.  The day began.

Murky rain.  One set of Wednesday friends went off to see grandparents today.   So the others came round here.  “Don’t get out the pirate stuff,” I said to Son 1.  “It’s too dangerous for Son 2 and the nearly-2 year old little brother.”  So he got the pirate stuff out.  There is tons of it.  Peter Pan pirates, Playmobil pirates, pirates from France, Ghouly pirates from Woolies… all with their own little guns and cuffs and paddles and swords.  Collecting up the tiny coins from a Playmobil treasure chest, I wondered aloud what kind of oddball toy designer inserts something into little children’s homes specifically aimed at choking their smaller siblings.  “Just write 4+ on the package, it’ll be fine.”  “And what are you eating?” I asked Son 2.  I fished in his mouth.  A tiny coin from a Playmobil treasure chest.   

Son 1’s sleep was very disturbed by the midnight banshee, and he was shattered today.  Misbehaving monstrously while our friends were here: “I’ve never seen him like this before,” said the other mum.  So after they left I put Son 2 to bed, and then him.  Both asleep at 2.30.  I cleared up the lunch things, tidied the toys, did some washing, sorted the veg box and made dinner.  Braised beef and sweet potato. 2nd stage weaning. Annabel Karmel.  I quadrupled the quantities to make enough for Mother, Son 1 and Son 2 for dinner, and then to freeze for baby food.  The Man rang.  He had planned an overnight business trip but cancelled because of the weather.  He’ll try again tomorrow.   He thought the casserole was nice.  A bit sweet, but very nice.

1.  The Darkest Hour

2.  The New nursery

3.   A Lovely Day

Son 2 aged 9m started screaming at 0230 - half an hour before The Man had to get up to leave for the airport.  I went down to offer him the solace of his mother in his hour of need.  And an hour later put him back in his cot and went downstairs to make a cup of tea.  He screams and writhes if I’m not there.  He screams and writhes if I am there.  I saw on some website that “high needs” (= 2008 terminology for babies who get very very cross) infants can end up stimulated by the presence of their mothers at night. That’s very Son 2.  I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP I WANT TO GET UP NOW WHERE ARE THE TOYS WHERE IS SON 1 COME ON EVERYBODY.   

At last Son 1 aged 3 and a half could load his 2 Bookstart bags full of toys, his Thomas the Tank Engine pull along suitcase full of toys, and his pirate box full of toys into the car for the taster day at the posh, inconvenient nursery.  We went with Wonder Nanny and Son 2.  Random play with anything to start off with… Son 1 went outside and played with sharks and whales and dolphins in a sand table filled with water, then a farm indoors, then an indoor sand pit, then a dolls house.  We then went up to their little canteen for lunch - they had three or four choices of main meals and he wanted everything.  He had Shepherd’s Pie and peas and rice and then pasta off my plate. Wonder Nanny started showing him how to use a knife and fork to eat the Shepherd’s Pie.  Ah. I’m supposed to move him off his spoon then now am I?  After lunch Wonder Nanny took Son 2 to try to get him to sleep, and Son 1 had more play… We ran around outside: “Mummy there are so many wonderful things to play with,” went back in and played with dinosaurs, played on a xylophone and read some books.  From what the other mums were doing, I think I was supposed to stand on the side and let him play with the other children.  Next time I will wear my “Working mother who feels she never has time to play with her child” tee shirt.  And then we went for a swim in their swimming pool, which Son 1 loved.  He just didn’t want to get out.  On the way back “Did you like the new nursery darling?” “Yes.”  “They had lovely toys, didn’t they?” “Yes.”  “Did you like the other children?” “No.”  “Do you think you’ll be friends with them in September?” “Yes.”

And then because that wasn’t enough for one day, we went over to Mum’s for dinner.  Wonder Nanny gave the boys some tea, I gave Son 2 a quick feed, piled them in the car and drove over. Younger Sister, Godfather 2 and Mother had visited a Garden, then Godfather 2 was cooking.  Son 1 had sausage and mash, and ate the mash and wanted seconds, and made pretty short work of the sausage as well.  Son 2 was just too tired, but enjoyed playing with Mum’s birthday balloon.  Son 1 chatted, ran in and out of the garden, did a new puzzle Mum bought him and played with the zoo I took over for Son 2.   On the way back Son 1 said “This has been a lovely day, hasn’t it Mummy?”          

1. The Museum

2. Boys stuff

3. Out for Dinner

As of 7am Son 2 aged 9 months had 5 and a half hours sleep in 24 hours.  He screamed last night from 2330 till nearly 3am and then woke up at half past five. We are all dropping.  The Man took Son 1 aged 3 and a half off to work with him this morning because Mummy was getting grumpy - he was only supposed to be going in for an hour because of the Business Trip.  And I got everything ready to take Son 2 out.  We went to The Museum and met up with some friends. The Man dropped Son 1 off - couldn’t stay, too busy.  The boys had a good play, Son 2 joined in and seemed to enjoy himself, and my friend and I agreed that although this is hard it will get better.

Son 2 finally dozed off in the pram as we walked back from The Museum. Son 1 and I went into the shoe shop to get his feet measured.  I think the assistants just look inside the children’s shoes when they’re taken off and add a half size to last time’s measurement.  Son 1 is now Size 9, and luckily there were some size 9 shoes in the sale.  He clutched them to his chest as I tried him in some sandals.  “I want these ones.”  Because they have flashing heels.     He has also been running a stick along railings and shop security grids… he dried his hands under a lower-than-normal dryer in a loo and then kept sticking his head underneath to make it come on and mess his hair up.  When did my baby become such a Boy?

It’ll soon be Mother’s birthday, and  I managed to get a present and a couple of cards, which I think is a Positive Achievement.  I tried to get two photos sorted for presents - one for Mum and one for Son 2’s Godmother… but the instant photo machine in the shop couldn’t do what I wanted so I’ll pick up the prints tomorrow.   Younger Sister and Godfather 2 are staying with Mum, so we all out for an early meal to celebrate.  Pizza.  We didn’t really get away with it because Son 2 was so tired, hot and ill.  He’s usually up for going out for meals and coffees, he likes trying food, throwing food, squodging food and watching people.  Tonight though he just grizzled and groaned, his nose runny, his cheeks red, his eyes watery and his voice VERY LOUD INDEED.      But Son 1 behaved beautifully, and it is always good to see Younger Sister and Godfather 2.