1.  A Dark And Stormy Night 

2.  Sea Breeze 

3.  What A Beautiful Day

Oh What A Night.   Son 2 aged 17m woke up at about 2300m and The  Man went to him. I went upstairs… The Man was already in bed with Son 2.   I went to bed and Son 2 still fretted and called, and called and fretted.   Son 1 aged 4y 4m cried out.  I heard The Man snoring.  My left ear,  which has been cracking since last summer was agony if I lay on it.  After well over an hour of Son 2 bawling and miaowing. I went down.  The Man had Son 2 and Son 1 in bed with him.  I sent him and Son 1 upstairs, gave Son 2 Calpol and snugged down with him.  At 0130 I said if he didn’t go to sleep he was going back in his cot.  At 0200 he was asleep on the bed, and I went downstairs to sort my ear out and get a cup of tea. He started howling again.  I came back upstairs and put him in the cot.  I bent down next to him for a good 20 minutes, killing my ear, jaw and throat.  He finally passed out.  At last A Good Thing. I went downstairs and drank tea till 3am.  And then went to sleep in Son 1’s bed. 

  Son 1 slept till gone 9am. The first time he’s still been asleep in bed when Wonder Nanny arrived.   We rang his Best Friend.  Going to the Gardens by the Beach with their scooters.  We were under pressure, because Son 2 was so tired after his disturbed night.  We loaded up the car with The Big Pram (portable bed,) Son 1’s scooter, Son 1’s skates, knee and elbow pads and helmet, and Son 2’s pushalong car.  When we got there Best Friend had had such a huge tantrum that he wasn’t allowed in the Gardens, and had no telly all day.  We went on The Beach.  Son 2 loved it.  He was still screaming to stay awake when I wheeled him up and down to get him to sleep at 1330.  Amazing stamina.  Must get it from his father.   The split lip is still looking pretty grim.

A Northerly, so we were protected a little on The Beach, the sun shone, the air was clear, children ran around everywhere.  Next to us we had a half-term club, who had a parachute,  piles of buckets and spades, and a huge sand racing car they’d dug.  They wanted Son 2 to sit in it.  Until he started taking great handfuls out of the steering wheel and bonnet.   Our four welcomed a stream of small children who wandered in and out of their play zone…   Son 1 in the end folded.  He’s still got his temperature thing, where he suddenly starts to burn up, and he wanted to go home. I have a nasty feeling he’s just not drinking enough.  Being positive, we now have a new sticker chart.  He can have a star each time he has a cup of juice/water/milk.  And so we’ll soon find out if it’s a dehydration thing.

1.  Swimming

2.  Two boys asleep at once

3.  Running without a watch

Swimming again makes it into the 3 good things.  The Man and I both went and took both boys.  Son 1 aged 3 and a half started off wanting to play all the games we do when Son 2 aged 7m isn’t there.  Then he started playing with The Man, which gave me a bit of time with Son 2.  I think Son 2 likes swimming, I get lots of smiles and splashes, and he enjoys looking round at everyone.  He especially enjoys playing with Son 1, and is surprisingly tolerant of the splashing, bombing and over-exhuberant hugging he gets.  And then he gets tired and howls his head off till he gets a feed.        

The Man would never put swimming on a list of his best three things of the day.  Let’s just say he struggles to be positive before, during and for quite a long time after.  I tried to let him have the afternoon off - we had both boys asleep for about 2 hours.  I used the time cooking: 2 shepherd’s pies for tea, today and tomorrow.  A portion for Son 2’s lunch, a portion of mince for Son 1’s tea on Tuesday and two portions of lentil and tomato sauce for the freezer.  I was just finishing off when Son 2 woke up, closely followed by Son 1.

On London Marathon day I did my run without my watch on for the first time since I had Son 1.  In the old days I used to go out and just clock mileage.  The training plan that got me this far - 4 x 30 min runs a week - relies on watch watching the whole way round; running for 3 minutes, walking for 3 minutes x 5 etc.  So tonight I just decided I would run across the bridge at the top of the river and back, about 30 minutes, but usually takes a bit longer.  I went out without the watch, in daylight all the way and felt very good when I got back.  

1.  Washing and cooking and cleaning

2. Three songs with sneezes in

3.  Coming Home

Add a six day work spree to a day-long beach and visitor fest and you get a mighty pile of washing, nothing but frozen potato-based purees for the baby to eat, and a big box of muddy organic veg sitting in the hall.   I washed and cooked and cleaned, as Billy Bragg put it.  Wonder Nanny entertained the children - and me.  So Son 2 aged 6m and 4w now has a ton of minestrone soup and carrot/swede/sweetcorn, the washing’s been done, the veg are sorted and Son 1 aged 3 and a half and I have learned the words to Five Little Men in a Flying Saucer.   In return, we taught Wonder Nanny We Are The Red Men. Which I learned in Brownies 35 years ago, and is now don’t-know-where-to-start  politically incorrect but does have dang good actions. 

Son 1’s day also included three songs with sneezes in, making birthday cards for Auntie and one of our friends, reading Elmer and doing Elmer puzzles, grabbing the baby, squashing the baby, tickling the baby and getting his nose bitten and hair pulled by the baby.  He ended up with another of his elaborate and incomprehensible mixed toy games spread over the floor.  Doing my jobs meant stepping over a vast pile of animal stickers and stepping round a banshee in a firemen’s outfit ping-ponging back and forth.  The game also involved my ladle, potato masher, fish slice, serving spoon, ice cream scoop and various cheap plastic farm toys.  

Son 2’s reflux means I have prepared, one-handed, many many meals with him held in one arm/on one hip.  He’s always been interested in the colours, sounds and smells of cooking - but saliva sets his reflux off so I hold him to stop him crying.  Today he lunged for and gripped the handle of a cast-iron pan of bubbling cheese sauce and started tugging it off the hob.  Disentangled by Wonder Nanny.  Must remember that they can do more as they grow.  Just about got the tea on the table and Son 1 sitting on a chair to eat it when The Man came back from abroad.  Hooray.

1. Lift the flaps

2. Egg and cress

3. The biggest hug of the day

Son 2 aged 6m and 3w is ending up in bed with me part way through each night. Last night I spent about an hour in the dead of night trying to get him to go back in his cot after I fed him.  Baby said no.  Hot milk and snuggles please, not this cold crate in the corner.  I think I have finally encountered a strong will than mine.  And then… and then… this morning I was reading “Oh Dear” to him and then fat starfish fingers reached out to lift up and play with the picture flaps…  and how can it possibly be a problem if a little baby wants his mum…    

Came home at lunchtime and Wonder Nanny and I had egg sandwiches, garnished with cress sowed, grown and cut by Son 1 aged 3 and a half.  He had been pulling up bits of cress to eat, but doesn’t like it because it’s dirty.  I suggested he left the bit with the soil on it, but as usual he ignored me.

Came home after work to be told Son 1 had picked up his toys and put them away without being asked. (Things We do for Wonder Nanny which We Won’t Do for Mummy #171)  so I pretended to be dazzled by the light of the Golden Child, and did a Triple Biggest Hug of the Day.  Up, Down, Around, Around with a fake Drop at the end.  I got 8 or 9 “Do It Agains” and a lot of pesto in my hair, but it was well worth it. 

1. Son 2 aged 6m and 3w less noisy at nursery

2. 3 sleeps in one day

3. Brian and Sophie

The nursery’s just been given a “Good” ofsted report, but lost marks for not having notes about new joiners.  So I took them 2 sides of A4 about Son 2.  Went to feed him at lunchtime and was told he’d been much better.  Still “unsettled,” but he’d had a little sleep after he arrived, then he’d played, been outside, and, thankfully, eyeballed the nursery nurse.   He was asleep when I got there, and the feeling was I should call it a day, because they were just starting to get somewhere with him.  So I let The Office know I’d be working from home  and packed both boys up. 

After we got back Son 2 had an astonishing and unprecedented 3rd sleep.  When he woke up he sat playing with his toys for well over an hour… staring over at me and making wa-ing noises when he wanted the toy changed.

Son 1 aged 3 and a half watched CBeebies till he was bored and let me switch it off, and then played with his toy animals. He likes putting them all in a row like dominos and then knocking the end one over.  The lion is called Brian, and the lioness is called Sophie.  Not that I know, of course.  I was too busy working to pay any attention to him. 

1. In deep with Son 1 aged 3 and a half

2. Eye to eye with Son 2 aged 6m 3w

3. The car wash 

Taking the children swimming is always a Best Thing.  Someone once told me that there’s no such thing as a naughty child, only the wrong environment.  And the swimming pool is the right environment - Son 1 can shout, splash, mess about, play games, run around with friends and no-one’s remotely bothered.  Son 2 is still gargling with every breath, so we left him at home.  I’ve got new goggles, which means I can now go under without my contact lenses falling out.  It’s been YEARS since I swam under water…  I was a sea monster going for little white legs in blue trunks… I did somersaults… I dived under surf boards.  I still got it.  

On Friday the Nursery Nurse said had I noticed Son 2 doesn’t make eye contact.  I suspected he was just extremely tired and cross rather than communication impaired, but it’s still bothered me.  So while Son 1 slept off his Swimathon, Son 2 and I had a nice long face-to-face chat.  He held eye contact.  He wound baby fists in my hair.  He giggled.  He gave his huge smile-the-size-of-a-grapefruit.  His eyes said he loves me, he thinks I’m fantastic, he wishes I’d stay longer, he’d like to bite my nose, and he’s bored now and can he play with that Lazytown balloon again.     

While all this was going on, The Man took my car to the car wash.   Great relief.  I’d got it so dirty that I was embarrassed parking outside The Office.  The crusts of mud have gone, I can see through the windscreen again and I no longer have to avoid the seagull splat on the driver’s door handle each time I get in.  Just got to clear the sand out now. The boys and I are removing the beach a few shoefuls at a time and it’s all over the inside.

1. Running in the rain

2. The tap

3.  The High Seas

Running can always make it into my best three things. I don’t go far and I don’t go fast, but I do go four times a week.  It makes me feel that one day I might get back into the pre-children clothing.  Today I went out straight after breakfast because the forecast said heavy rain and storm force winds were coming through later.  I got very damp and there’s still no sign of the storm.  But I very nearly got to what I know from the old days is the one-and-a-half mile mark.  Just a bit faster and I can say I run 12 miles a week.

The tap in our washroom has been making knocking noises which can shake the whole house.  Great for disturbing sleeping tiny children at adult bedtime, in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning.   The Man took Son 1 aged 3 and a half to B and Q to buy all the bits and then spent the afternoon fixing it.  Son 1 came down and said “Daddy breakd the tap.”  Shortly after Daddy also breakd the soil pipe and then he breakd the sink.  And Daddy had a paddy and stomped off next door to borrow a mastic gun.  He finally finished it all after bathtime.

Son 1, Son 2 aged 6m and 2w and I played pirates while the plumbing was going on.  Faithful to the literature, we have the Pirates, and the Lost Boys, the Indians and the Wild Animals.  Although our wild animals are Son 2’s; Amanda the Panda and Debra the Zebra.  At the moment, the Lost Boys plan a trip, and then one by one the Pirates and the Indians all say ”Can I come?” and room has to be found for them on the raft.  Then the Lost Boys tiptoe onto the pirate ship and have a celebration.  Then the Pirates tiptoe onto the pirate ship and capture the Lost Boys.  And then they all sail away to the window seat and go to bed until their breakfast is ready.  This can go on all morning/afternoon/day and although both The Man and I have tried, it never seems to come to any natural finish.  The only thing that ever breaks the spell is the question: “Would you like to watch CBeebies now?”