1.  Quack

2.  Oink

3.  Bullseye

A grim weather forecast for The Trade Show.  Showers, some heavy and prolonged. 30 - 70mm of rain.  Take wellies and jumpers, said the weatherwoman.  I ummed and ah-ed over whether Son 1 aged 4y 8m and Son 2 aged 20m should go. In the end I couldn’t let a weather forecast get in the way of a Great Adventure.  Wonder Nanny and I got the car packed up and off we zoomed. On the way we discussed our action plan. Son 2 was still making pig noises.  The Trade Show is Big On Pigs. But the pigs are miles away from the Office Stand.  Wonder Nanny has never been To The Pigs.   if it wasn’t raining when we got there, we decided, I would take them all over to The Pigs.  Son 1 began a long, loud, annoying protest.  He wanted to Hook A Duck.  We ran into grindingly slow Trade Show traffic.  Son 1 banged on and on about Hooking A Duck.  He sang a song about Hooking Ducks. ”Do you think he wants to Hook A Duck?” I asked Wonder Nanny, “I did hear it mentioned,” she said.

We yomped over to The Pigs. We saw some little cows and calfs first, being walked around a little ring by children in white coats.  A cow walked up to Son 2 and mooed like a lion.  He buried his head in my shoulder.  We found The Pigs and Son 2 was happy as… er… a pig in muck.  We went from pen to pen looking for the oinkiest pigs, the squeakiest pigs, the biggest pigs and the prettiest pigs.  Son 2 oinked at them all, and pointed to the next pen, again and again.  There was, Babe-like, a pig ring. “That one’s doing a poo,”  said Son 1.  It’s never too late to learn a new thing every day.  Pigs have MASSIVE testicles. 

Packa-macked and rain covered, the boys and Wonder Nanny headed off. I stayed on The Stand. We met for lunch. Son 2 was asleep in the buggy.  Son 2 never sleeps for me in the buggy.  Bands blared in the background, people bumped the pushchair, musicians and dancers wandered back and forth.  He didn’t stir.  Son 1 had won a bow and arrow, and a sword on Hook A Duck. After lunch they went off to the Play Tent. I hadn’t finished by the time they got back, so they waited in a rest area.  When I arrived,  some Office colleagues were teaching Son 1 to shoot his arrows at some doors.  Son 2 was swinging around with Son 1’s new sword, also to cheers and laughter from my colleagues. We got home very late, Son 2 clinging and Son 1 screaming with fatigue.  And now they will both rest demurely all day tomorrow to make life easy for me.

1.  Junior Showtime

2.  Long-Standing

3.  Learning To Talk

Days 1 and 2 of The Trade Show.  Son 1 aged 4y 8m and Son 2 aged 20m went with Wonder Nanny yesterday.  They apparently walked round, went on rides, looked at animals (pig and mooing noises from Son 2,) collected stickers, pencils and assorted oddments from stands, had lunch and then went in the Play Tent till I collected them.  Son 2 appeared to have also found a shirt-painting stand.  He was in white linen. I told Wonder Nanny not to worry about the shirt as You Can Get Anything Out Of Linen.  Son 2 was cheerfully testing the theory, with strips and splodges of paint, ice cream and pen all over him.  The children painting in the Play Tent were using washing up bowls to clean their paintbrushes, so there were large bowls of shallow, deeply coloured water perched on kiddies’ chairs.  Son 2 had borrowed a tea cup from a toy box and was using it to scoop out blue water and tip it on the floor in front of him.  Nice.

Son 2 was having a day with Wonder Nanny, and Son 1 was at Nursery today. We got him there on time, which was a Good Thing, and he plopped down, cross-legged, with the other children with nary a glance up at me.  I took a colleague into The Trade Show, and we had a Good Day.  Very busy, great people, saw loads of contacts, walked miles, worked hard, left late. As I was leaving I rang home to tell The Man to start putting the boys to bed without me.  Wonder Nanny answered.  Past her leaving time. ”Isn’t The Man back yet?” “No… I  know he was picking up Son 1, but we’ve not seen them here.”  I rang The Man.  Doing a Big Shop with Son 1. Hadn’t worried about Wonder Nanny and Son 2  because he’d assumed I’d be home.  Oh Dear. 

 Back home, Son 2 hung round my neck, Son 1 screamed and squealed.  “Do you want to go to the Trade Show again tomorrow?” I asked Son 2.  He nodded, made his pig noise, and moo-ed.  He really does understand everything.  His speech bounds onwards: “Up Up Up,” is a new favourite, said mostly with two arms wound round my leg as I try to shake him off so I can get things out the oven. He has recognisable words for bread, toast, butter, cheese, milk, juice, tea, shoes, chair, bath, bubble, bus, book, bear, boat, cat, dog, stop, spot, please, peas, ice cream, chocolate, toes… I must do a proper list one evening. His most used sentence is “And me!”  Which he uses indiscriminately every time I ask Son 1 if he wants something.