1.  Treasure

2.  Biff and Beaujangles

3.  Countdown

A friend came with her son, aged 2.75.  She’d made Son 1 aged 4 a treasure chest for his birthday, and was setting up a treasure hunt in the back garden so he could find it.  She came round as I was putting Son 2 aged 13m down for his sleep… and while Son 1 had fallen asleep while watching telly upstairs.  He was hot and bothered when he woke, but recovered after Calpol and a drink.  Son 2 woke, and all three boys went outside. Son 1 found the clues, found the treasure chest and has gone to sleep with it under his bed.

The elder two boys started ricocheting off the walls after too much treasure chest chocolate and marshmallows.  We all walked into The Town, said our goodbyes to our friends and went to the dinghy park to watch the crane lifting boats out of the water.  The Man knows how to show a girl a good time.  We had coffee looking over the marina - hence Biff and Beaujangles.  Back home I played peekaboo with Son 2 round the high chair while Son 1 - who really isn’t feeling well- laid on the floor upstairs and watched telly.  Son 2 clearly asked for “na na” when he saw one.  He stuffed his face at teatime; Son 1 ate almost nothing.

We put the boys to bed.  In a manner of speaking, Son 2 is still going down on the double bed and crying every time he wakes up without a grown up beside him.  I am cutting back on the bedtime feed, with a view to stopping entirely in a week or so’s time.  I feel very strange about it.  Pleased I’ve managed to feed him this long.  Sad that we’re leaving that special him-and-me thing behind.  Proud I did it - it’s been crap.  But the fact is I won’t feed another child.  And I would of course love to.  Anyway.  We are indulging Son 2’s need for an adult while I move him off the breast.  Then we’ll leave it a week or so and get him back in his cot.  Somehow.  And of course that will be as easy as it sounds.  

I got out for a run tonight, and it made me feel much better.  The moon was nearly full, so I ran up to the top of The Headland. Not all the way round, in recognition of the fact I haven’t been out for more than a week.  But it was a lovely evening, crisp and cold, with The Town full of life as I ran through.  There are street lights only half way up the Headland, so about 400 yards was in pitch black.  It was harder running in the darkness - even with moonlight - than it used to be because there are some very bright lights from the docks which are too far away to light the path, but so bright they stop your eyes adjusting.  I really must defeat my Inner Robbie and Just Go, four times a week.  I have such a good time when I’m running, I sort out all kinds of stuff in my head and, in principle, it will get the weight off too.  Although on the way back I called in to The Spar and bought chocolate and crips.     

1.  Breakfast

2. Pat pat pat

3. Forgiveness

Had a veggie sausage sandwich for breakfast while I looked at the paper.  Son 2 aged 10m was asleep - he is crashing out again soon after his milk feed at the moment.  Might be related to the hours he spends awake at night.  Son 1 aged 3 y 10m was upstairs on the big bed, wrapped up in the quilt, watching telly.  The Man was heading out on a Business Trip that was going to be one night, but may now be more.  I told Son 1 we’d aim at walking into The Town, but it never stopped raining.

I played pirates with Son 1 for a bit while Son 2 was asleep. Not for long enough, and I did more mending and sorting than playing.  When I was on maternity leave we had long and involved stories and battles, which Son 1 just wants to return to.  But we can’t because now Son 2 crawls (pat pat pat pat) and eats everything it’s just too dangerous.  I think it’s very hard for Son 1 when The Man is away.  Son 2 takes such a lot of effort… and Son 1 longs to play with me.  We did ok because Son 2 had three short naps today, but Son 1 needed longer.   

I still don’t know how stay-at-home mums do it.  All I seemed to do today was laundry, cooking, cleaning and tidying up toys.  Why is it supposedly better for small boys to watch women do that all day than to go nursery?  How do people get time to glue pasta into collages and make muffins? Bathtime, I played peepabo with Son 2.  When I put Son in the bath, he wanted to play too.  So, me lying on the bathroom floor, peering up at the top of the bath.  First one little fist, then another appears at the top.  Son 2 with his three teeth up, two teeth down smile, looking down at me with the light behind his head.  Next to him, Son 1’s head, laughing and laughing, “Let’s do it again!” This is seconds after I’d told him off for screeching and hurting my ear.  “Let me off like Wendy and Tinkerbell,” he said.