1.  Past

2.  Present

3.  Yet-To-Come

We are slowly but surely leaving babyhood behind.  I feel like I’m on the deck of a ship looking back at a land I won’t visit again.  Pang.  Walking is now the preferred mode of getting about.  There is still a lot of plonking down on the bottom, there is still some dropping down and crawling, there is still a lot of pushing child-size plastic chairs up and down the kitchen (being lapped by Son 1 aged 4y 2m doing the same thing.)  But 90% of the time Son 2 aged 14m is, without thinking,  choosing to walk.  It’s great.  Feet wide apart, eyes bright, and very often carrying something at the same time.  Being Son 2 there is of course a fair crack of pace already.

The new way to Son 1’s Nursery goes past the Old Nursery.  Son 1 always waves as we go by.  “Shall we take them a Christmas Card and a present?” I asked this morning.  So after I picked him up tonight we pulled over and I rang.  And we dropped in.  Four nursery nurses there to greet us, all of whom were there when Son 1 started aged < 6m.  They cooed over Son 1 in his uniform.  Haven’t-you-grown, they exclaimed.  How we miss Son 2.   Son 1 gripped my leg like a koala up a tree and buried his face in my coat.  He didn’t know any of the children, who were all under 3 years old.   It’s still loving, and it’s still lovely, but we were right to move him.

Today’s other Achievement was a pile of Christmas Shopping. Tower of Doom, various monsters, angler fish set and a Ben 10 Omnitrix for Son 1.  And a farm puzzle and a Winnie The Pooh bath set for Son 1.  Yes I know there’s a slight imbalance there.  What does everyone else do?  Son 2 is impossible.  He doesn’t play with any age-appropriate toys.  He likes Son 1’s toys.  The more chew-off-and-choke pieces, the better.  His Favourite Thing Ever is switching the telly off. Pressing the button to make the DVD drawer come out.  Playing with (adult) mobile phones.  Pressing the house phone buttons (so far no emergency services have been summoned, but it’s only a matter of time.)  Shape sorters and plastic talking toys simply won’t Shake His Pot.  He might have to have the Omnitrix.

1.  Getting out

2.  Dropping off

3. Picking Up

I got Son 1 aged 4 to the New Nursery on time.  This is a Good Thing.  It involved, several days ago,  booking Son 2 aged 1 into the Old Nursery early.  Then we had to get out of the house.  I am trying so hard not to chivvy Son 1 because I don’t want him feeling stressed about going to the New Nursery.  And, like his father, under pressure he g-o-e-s i-n-t-o v-e-r-y s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n while I zizz around like a bluebottle on speed.  So when, having strapped Son 2 into his car seat, Son 1 stood on the pavement and said “I want a poo,” I did not take it well.

Poor Son 2 was the first into Nursery.  However.  Wonder Nanny can soon work for us four days a week, so I don’t need to worry about the look of betrayed grief in his eyes when he sees I am going.  I’m trying to keep things easy for him because I want to stop feeding him.  Hopefully, today’s will be his last morning feed.  I will give it a go with just the beaker tomorrow.  So at night it’s me or The Man lying beside him on the bed and edging him into the cot if we can…  and in the day he just clings and clings.  I know I’ll be sad in a way when I stop, because I’ll never feed another child.  But I know I am very ready indeed to Move On.. 

I promised Son 1 a bow and arrow if Mummy Got A Nice School Photo.  And he did the job.  Dazzling smile.  So off to the wooden toy shop I went in my break.  No bows and arrows left.  When I picked Son 1 up he came running back across the playground “Where’s my bow and arrow?”  Ah.  Pretty inconsolable.  Son 1’s tears only stopped when he looked at the TK Maxx presents I’ve bought for the party/visit this weekend.  He ran his fingers over the mini-Bratz doll and pink accessories.  “I’ve wanted one of these for a very long time.”   Son 2 was the last-but-one child left at the Old Nursery. Pang.

1.  The school run

2.  The school lunch

3. The milk bottle

Marathon session today.  Me and two boys to get up and out of the house early enough to get to the New Nursery, drop off Son 1 aged 3y 11m, get back to the  Old Nursery, drop off Son 2 aged 1, and then get back to The Office.  Then I needed to collect Son 1, collect Son 2, get them home, wait for Wonder Nanny to arrive and get back to the New Nursery for parents’ evening.  I did it, but I was up at 0530, didn’t get lunch, and could only grab some breadsticks and houmous with the boys before I had to pile out again.

Son 2 had his first Big Boy Food at nursery.  I’ve made him lunch for his first six months there; now he is 1, I am moving him on to their food.  He usually has carefully and lovingly made organic baby mush from one of my many Annabel Karmel cookbooks . (”Sweet potato and lentil is his favourite/he needs iron he’d better have spaghetti bolognese/salmon and tomato sauce, I think, to give him some Omega 3.”)  He had sausages and spaghetti hoops and ate it all.  

Wonder Nanny put the boys to bed.  Did their bath, gave Son 2 a bottle and then read to Son 2 till he fell asleep.  Here I sit, having not breastfed my baby at night for the first time in his life.  And having not been involved in his bedtime…  He’s 1 now, I’ve done really well with him and now I can try all this stuff.  I’ve been trying to cut the quantity of milk I give him in the morning, ready to cut that feed first when The Man gets back.  But I think I’ll see how I get on.        

1.  The Bug

2.  The Tug

3.  The Bid

Rubbish night with both Son 1 aged 3 y 11m and Son 2 aged 11m.  Son 1 had a fever and we had to Ibuprofen him at some godless time in the night.  Son 2 had a cough and was uncomfortable.  I went in with him, then heard a very  upset Son 1 so put The Man in with Son 2, and took Son 1 upstairs.  He really wasn’t well.  A cough like a seal with croup, skin burning all over and weirdie wideawake dreams.  “Mummy, take my nappy off.”  He hasn’t worn a nappy in nearly a year.  

So. Day 2 at the New Nursery and I had to ring to say we were keeping him home. The Man looked after him - I had to go in to The Office. I rang The Man’s mobile at lunchtime. He’d taken Son 1 to work and he’d just lay on some cushions on the floor watching telly.  Pang. “I just want to be with you, Mummy.”  Pang. I had something complicated and important at The Office, scheduled for late afternoon.  Of course, it ended up happening even later.  It went well, which is actually A Good Thing, but I was very late picking up Son 2 and getting home.   Pang. Pang. Pang.  However.  A Counter-Pang.  Son 2’s Nursery Nurse said he’d had a good day.  “We were all just saying how much he’s grown in how he is here, and how much better he is now than he was at the start.”  Hooray hooray hooray.  

Guess what else.  I have bid for something on eBay.  Yes I know everyone else on the planet has been members since 2002 and you’ve all got 12000 stars, spotless feedback and £100,000 turnovers.  But I haven’t.   My New Year Resolution was to start selling off the clutter silting up the house by the end of January.  And I didn’t. I pulled out some bits and bobs and prammed them down to Oxfam instead.   But I’ve set up a PayPal account… not entirely sure how that’s going to work but they’re wading in and out of my bank account so something’s going on.  And I finally decided that I could commit to a 99p bid.  I am sure Wonder Nanny can sort me out if it doesn’t work.  I am so My Mother.