1.  Capitulation

2.  Corruption

3.  Celebration

A New Family Rule.  If Little Children Want To Sleep With Their Parents They Can.  Son 1 aged 4y 4m thinks this is good idea.  “Is this because of me?”  “Yes,” I said.  No.  It’s because we had the most wretched night with Son 2 aged 16m.  Plot summary:  he wanted to lie in the big bed with a grown up;  I wanted him to sleep in his cot.    Neither The Man nor I sleep particularly well when we have a child with us.  And we both get grumpy when we don’t sleep.  So when Son 2 stood up and bayed at 2315, I tried to get him back to sleep.  He roared.  He shouted till his voice went hoarse.  He screamed and screeched and shrieked.  He woke Son 1.  He finally stopped at 1am.  i put Son 1 back in his bed.  Made hot chocolate.  And was then worried that something might be wrong with Son 2 so went into his room.  In the early hours he awoke again, and I just popped him into bed with me.  He went straight back to sleep.

We had Horrid Henry again on the way to Nursery.  I am going to retire him.  Too many: “Bor-ring”s and raspberries from Son 1.  I like to think a “You’re terrible parents” was rooted in Horrid Henry, rather than any seriously thought-through conclusion.  So at Ottakars I began the re-education programme.  We now have Peter Pan, Roald Dahl, and Stories For Five Year Olds.   Back from The Office, I walked in as Son 1 had just hit Son 2.  Oh somehow he got his new CDs.  “I hope you choose Peter Pan for us to listen to tomorrow,” I said.  “Which one do you want to hear?”  “Peter Pan,” said Son 1.  Hooray hooray.  We may yet get him back from Horrid Henry.

Reading to Son 1 after bathtime, I tried to get any information at all from him about his day at Nursery.  “Who did you sit with at lunch?”  “Can’t remember.”  “What did you do that was fun?” “Nothing.” ”What was your favourite bit of the day?”  “When Mummy came home.”  He deserved every one of those new CDs.

1.  The Moment It Stopped…

2.  The Driver

3.  The Run

I’ve had to spell out the 3 Good Things, because Son 2 aged 1 is killing us.  Sunday night was ok… we got him in his cot three times before I finally went into bed with him.  Last night was sheer hell.  He was up for nearly three hours.  Wriggling, crying, crying wriggling.  New trick: lock your legs in your sleeping bag  rock hard and stretch up your body until the shoulder press studs pop and you can kick your way out like a snake shedding its skin.  Because then your wriggling potential increases tenfold.  He had Calpol, he had ibuprofen.  He had a new nappy, which it took two adults to hold him down to get it on.  He had water, he had cuddles, he had me.  In the end I said: “Mummy’s had enough now.  Go to sleep, or go in the cot.”  And - at last the Positive Point - he snuggled down on my shoulder and went to sleep.

We all woke up late.  Wonder Nanny is on holiday, so The Man had taken today off to look after Son 1 aged 4 and Son 2.  I had to go to The City for a training session. The nighttime warzone has gone on for two weeks now, and I probably should take some time off.  But I’m grimly determined.  Two of my colleagues carshared with me and one of them drove, which was great.  I sat in the back among the sticky smoothies, feathers, sand, pine cones and toy sword - my late start meant I didn’t get time to clean the car out. Another factor in soldiering on was of course the deep truth that had I stayed home, The Man would have gone to work…

When I got back he said he’d been clock-watching for me since 2.30pm (still in my meeting in The City then… well over two hours away…)  He doesn’t know how I do Wednesdays.  The boys had been good as gold, but Son 2 had only slept for 15 minutes.  We put the boys to bed.  I got Son 2 in his cot.  Within 20 minutes he had started yelling again.  And we left him.  I feel awful, because I know it’s teeth, separation anxiety, over-tiredness, a smashed routine, Wonder Nanny vanishing and probably reflux too.  And the only cure is Mummy.  But I wanted to go running.  I came back three miles later and Son 2 had only just stopped crying.  I started work and he started again.  I’m bound to wake him up when I have a shower, but then I’ll take him in with me.  And hope tonight will be the night it all gets better.