1.  Big Boys

2.  New Boys

3.  Hello Boys

The Rat Man says we can ring him if we find any more bodies, and he will come and clear them up.  This is a Good Thing, as The Man has left on another Business Trip. Unfortunately, The Man cannot remember which Rat Man we are using.  He found him in the Yellow Pages, he’s very nice, and he’s been back in his discreet, unmarked van to check his boxes and put more toxic waste in them.  But frankly I’d tolerate a van saying THIS HOUSE HAS RATS with a big arrow pointing at us if  it meant his mobile number was stencilled on the side as well.   The Man left at 3am, so yet again I am wandering around like a zombie.  Son 1 aged 5y 1m ended up in the Big Bed, and came down shortly after I got up.  He used to flit around like a little wraith.  He now sounds like a team of rugby players coming down the stairs. It was slightly spooky listening to him… knowing there was no other adult in the house and yet hearing great clunking footsteps powering down. And then a little figure in Lightning McQueen pyjamas pads in, holding his willy and rubbing his eyes. 

I had to go to The City, which is the best part of a two-hour drive away. When I’d finished, I went into The Shopping Centre, because I’d promised Son 1 I’d go to the Disney Shop to look for squirty toys to take on holiday.  And then… Hold The Front Page, Don’t Faint, Shoot Me Down In Flames… they had a set of Peter Pan figures.  Including The Children and The Dog.  This is an Excellent Thing.  I have spent hours on the internet, trying to find the children for Son 1. I have trailed around Disney Shops (Oxford Street: “Yes we’ve got them upstairs because they’re not very popular.” 20 mins later: “Sorry we’ve sold out.”)  We have plastic Peters in several sizes, a finger puppet Peter and Wendy, three or four Captain Hooks, a fair few crocodiles, several handfuls of  Indians and Lost Boys and pirates, pirates everywhere.   Son 1’s Peter Pan obsession began with a charity shop Disney book I bought for 49p in Feb 2007. He got his first Peter Pan things the following Christmas, and he has longed for John and Michael ever since.  So what I’m saying is, yes I bought him yet another toy.  No, I haven’t thrown out/sorted out any of his old ones. And yes, Son 2 aged 2y 1m had to have a Nemo squirty toy bath set to be fair. 

There were comments about more presents from Granny and Grandad, who were waiting with the boys because I was way too late for Wonder Nanny.  Never mind. The Best Thing today was The New Swimming Costume. Not the one I wanted, not one I would have picked out… but it’s slimming, it fits nicely and it was in the sale.  I was excited for a few minutes because the label said 14E.  In better light, I realised that was the Australian sizing. I’d been worried I was stuck with the skanky baggy swimsuit for the holiday. I got put off the Bravissimo website because I needed to think of a password. (Really sorry, can’t. Got a pile of passwords to remember anyway, and a head so full of Other Stuff that not one more fact can be jemmied in. )  I tried another website. Ordered a beautiful costume on Wednesday. Ticked the box for faster postage to beat the strikes. And got an email saying they’re not expecting them in till next week. Today really was my Last Chance.  I don’t think I’ve worn a halter neck in my life but Granny thinks it’s great.

1. Being Here Now

2. Stuffing

3. Bullseye

Getting back is a Praiseworthy Thing (been reading from the Booker Shortlist… also a Good Thing.) I’ve had a week of being ill and technological trauma. So. Today. Son 2 aged 14m slept for two and a half hours, and in the end I had to wake him up. He has done a couple of nights in the cot this week, but he wouldn’t sleep without me last night. Lifestyle Guru Hairdresser says I should just dump him in his cot and let him sort himself out. Soon. But he has little starfish fingers that gently pinch my neck till they find a bit they like to hold on to… and he has soft snuffly hair which he snuggles under my chin, and if I inch away from him he rolls his whole body into me…

Son 1 aged 4y 1m has a bucket of Trick or Treat booty gathered during a trek up and down The Terrace last night. He is allowed one piece after each meal, and thankfully hasn’t noticed that I have thinned it. None of our Friends did the Halloween thing… their children don’t know about it and they wanted to fend it off for another couple of years. I however have left Son 1 alone with Horrid Henry cds for 45 minutes at a time. So he wanted to lay his costume out on the bed. And in answer to a caring “What would you like to do today, Son 1?” question, said “Go upstairs and watch telly and stuff my face with sweets.”

Granny and Grandad said their goodbyes this evening; they are heading back tomorrow. They were delighted with and enchanted by the boys, but they don’t really do bad weather. They’ve booked in again for Christmas. We had a Last Supper of fillet steak, chips and peas. Or they did. My meal ended when Son 2 flung a lump of fillet at my lentil burger.