1.  Travelling Hopefully

2.  Going Underground

3.  The Wild

Court finished at lunchtime on Friday (memo to self. Make sure boys go into the Law. These people are not over-working.) so I packed all afternoon.  Set off at 6 and drove at a fair crack.  We are so rural it takes more than four hours at 70mph to reach the M25.  Younger Sister and Godfather 2 stayed up.  I tried to put Son 1 aged 4y 8m and Son 2 aged 20m to bed when we got there but they outvoted me. ”Cat,” said Son 2, repeatedly, whirling round in circles to make himself drunk like he does when he’s excited. ”You see these teddy bears which are cats’ toys,” said Son 1. “I expect they’re for us now.”   They stayed up till midnight.   

On Saturday we went with Younger Sister to their local wildlife park.  We fed goats and chinchillas.  Son 1 gave a lamb a bottle of milk. Hot hot hot. On Sunday Son 1, Son 2 and I got on the train, went into London, crossed it on the Tube (hot hot hot) and met The Man, fresh off the Gatwick Express at Victoria.  Then we went to Kensington Gardens and watched Peter Pan.  Son 1 of course thought it was fantastic. Son 2 sat through the whole two-and-a-half hours with barely a fidget. The child who is hated by a planeload of holidaymakers. “Isn’t he good,” said the lady in front. “Mine could never have been that good at that age.”  We think the fairies swapped him.  His favourite characters were Nanna “Woof woof,” and the Crocodile  ”Snap snap.” When Wendy was carried off from Marooners’ Rock on a kite tail he let out a show-stopping baby chortle.  “It’s not funny,” hissed Son 1.  I do love this story but I am with Son 2 on that bit.  On the way out I said “Son 1 please stay with us. You know what will happen if you get lost in Kensington Gardens.”  “Mummy it’s not real life,” he said, scornfully.  I saw ya, you little beggar, staring transfixed and whispering ”I believe in fairies” to bring back Tinkerbell.

We had planned to do London Zoo on the Monday, but it was too dang hot to brave on a working day, and there is a massive zoo about 10 miles from Younger Sister’s, so we spent the day there.  We did the Big Five… hippos, lions, giraffes, elephants and cheetahs. Went on a steam train, ate ice creams… and got hot hot hot.   At Younger Sister’s we took family photos, and the children again stayed up for dinner.  On Tuesday we drove to see Aged Aunt and Eldest Brother. Aged Aunt looked brilliantly well, their garden was great, the boys were Perfect Children.  And then we drove back. On the hottest day of the year. Fortunately we had wiped Son 1 and Son 2 out and they slept for most of the Very Long Indeed trip.

1.  Daring To Kiss

2.  Spring Animals

3.  Dinner With A Friend

I spent the night with Son 1 aged 4y 4m.  He’s still hot and bothered. I got up just before 5am, and decided I Do Not Drink Coffee till 6am.  I cracked at 0520.  Did some admin/paperwork.  The Man got up.  Off on a Business Trip.  Very pleased to see me Downstairs.  He’d thought, as I wasn’t with Son 1, that I must be behind closed doors with Son 2 aged 17m.  The Man dares not go into The Lightest Sleeper In The World’s bedroom, and thought it would be bad luck to leave without kissing goodbye.  After all these years I think that counts as a Good Thing.

A text from a Wednesday Mum.  Little Three Year Old Friend fell off the new bunk bed ladder last night and has broken his arm. Overnight in The Hospital, in theatre this morning.  I rang.  Tib and fib.  Carried off in an ambulance.  Five weeks in plaster ahead.   We went off to the Bird Park.  It was indescribably busy.  Every table packed, buggies everywhere, people standing round the edges.  The Other Wednesday Mum went for coffees while Son 2 and I played in the toddler area.  A table became free right next to it.  I stepped over and plonk.  Camp struck, Good Thing bagged.  Son 1 played, but as his calpol wore off his mood crashed.  We went outside. Down to the Farm.  The goats weren’t hungry - half term, they ‘d eaten hundreds of bags of pellets.  they just wanted grass.  There was a great fat black pig with ten gorgeous tiny piglets.  As a vegetarian, I can enjoy the cuteness of piglets guilt-free.  The quails had chicks.  The Big Fat Hens had laid eggs in the hen houses.  We went up to the Penguin Pond.  Son 1 climbed up on the wall and sat, in a “W,” which meant he takes up three times as much room as a child sitting cross-legged.   About sixty children were crammed round the wall.  Buckets of fish arrived with two keepers.  “We need about 12 volunteers!”  Every had shot up.  Son 1 has learned from previous disappointments, and is now much better at getting picked.  He was the best penguin-feeder by far.  Coat off, shoes off, dive into bucket.  Fling Those Fish.

Only. We’d forgotten Nanna was coming at 4pm.  I tried ringing, and off we sped.   Her car was parked near the house, no sign of her.  My mobile went.  She was waiting with our neighbours.  We drove down to The Square and went into Pizza Express for tea.  The boys were worn out and loudly fractious.  And then in came Son 1’s nearly six-year-old friend with his Mother, just back from the panto.  They sat on the other side of the restaurant, and Son 1 spent the entire meal with them.  I sent over a glass of Pinot Grigio as a babysitting fee.   So. Rude to Nanna, but he wate nearly every scrap of pizza, and Nanna and I got our food. Son 2 went for a walk round the restaurant with Nanna, fell over, hit his nose and split his lip open again.

After a long, late, exhausting bedtime, I rang 3 year old’s father at home, and then his mum in the hospital. They were both within 1m of him when it happened.  Second rung from the bottom of the ladder, foot slipped in, child fell and they heard the “snap.”  He has two greensticks and one proper fracture.  He was X-Ray Of The Day.  He’s on calpol.  He seems fine.   In the next bed is a little girl still recovering from the car crash in which her brother died.  It’s really only a scratch on Son 2’s lip.

1.  Goat Bait

2.  Candlemass

3.  Brothers In Arms

The Man left at 3am on a Business Trip, so we collected Nanna and headed for The Bird Park.  Son 2 aged 16m couldn’t get into the Baby Area fast enough.  Ball Pool.  Jet Bits.  Sitting over one of the holes so the remaining air streams blew even stronger.  The thin, four-inch wisps of his anyhow pre-haircut fringe blown up vertical.   He waved at Nanna. “Eh-yo.”  He concentrated as he threw balls overboard.  He got down.  We crawled up and around.  Son 1 aged 4y 3m was cross.  Growling.  Clawing his hands.  Pushing me away.  He wanted his Best Friend.  Only his Best Friend understands his game.  I tried to get us all playing together and might have succeeded at times.  He had a great time when Son 2 was sitting on the jets and throwing balls down at him.  He liked it when we followed him over the Big Children’s Stuff.  Son 2 slithered on his stomach and went down the baby slide on his own.  He learned to go down steps the same way today.  We went to see the otters and the owls.  Son 2 was in his reins - he loves walking, we’re hoping that having him in them early will mean he accepts them later.  When we know we’ll need them.  We looked at the Guinea Pigs.  £12 each.  Son 1 and I looked at each other.  If they’d sold hutches we’d've taken two.  We fed the goats, Son 2 managing to hold the food so the goats licked it from his hands, giggling his head every time their tongues shot out over his fingers.  The goats were standing in a quagmire, and everytime they leapt up their hooves spattered us.  Slathered in mud and goat spit, we washed our hands and made for the penguins.

We went early (for us) because it was the Family Tea Service at The Church and I felt we should go.  Son 2 didn’t wake up between car, house and street, and stayed asleep till we were at the bottom of the church steps.   Son 1 was exhausted, but will fortunately do anything if promised a comic, so trudged down like a trooper.  Numbers were few.  The theme was “light.”  The student priest put everyone under a tablecloth to show how Dark Things Were When God Forsook.  “And then Simeon saw a little baby just like this one (Son 2, possibly about 15 months too old for the role), and said ‘here is the light that will save the world.’”   We went back to our pews.  “Is Son 2 Jesus?” asked Son 1.  We sang “Shine Jesus Shine,” the words on a screen at the front.  My eyes are dim, the light was poor.  I so liked the idea of Kindly Brightness that I googled “Shine Jesus Shine, lyrics” when I got back.  Ah.

And then they provided tea.  Vegetable Bake, sausages, pizza, squash and cake.  Brilliant.  We zigzagged home across the main street - closed to traffic while they dig it up, Son 1 liked leading us from one side to the other.  We bought a Shaun The Sheep comic.  It was late and we were all whacked.  The boys went in the bath.  I insisted on washing their hair to remove goat saliva and hoof flecks.  I washed Son 2’s. Then I washed Son 1’s, singing him his lullaby to keep him calm.  Seeing him lying back on Mummy’s arm, being sung to, destroyed Son 2.  He cried, stood up, grabbed the arm holding Son 1 and sat his little bare bottom down on Son 1’s face, sinking him under the water. Then he stamped his foot on his ear and slid off.

1. The Look After Shop

2. Fur And Feathers

3. Fish and Chicks

The Man left at 0330 on a Business Trip.  A crisp, clear, cloudless day.  Son 1 aged 4y 2m wanted to go to the Bird Park.  En route we passed some Boarding Kennels.  “It’s the Look After Shop,” said Son 1.  “For dogs and cats and birds and mice and guinea pigs.” We picked up Nanna.  Son 1 and Son 2 aged 14m played in the toddler area.  Son wanted to play in the Ball Pool; Son 1 on the climbing frame, his Pirate Ship.  I have resolved to play together as a threesome wherever possible, so Son 2 and I joned Son 1 on the Ship.  Son 2 chatted and waved and Arowed-ed.  Son 1 ran away. Son 2 loved it.  A wall up to his nose?  Up went the leg to try to climb.  He sobbed in fury when I picked him up during his attempt to walk across the rope bridge.  “So what if my feet are so small they fall through each hole in the net… leave me here PLEASE and I’ll work it out.”

By early afternoon, both were exhausted, but didn’t want to leave.  Son 1 lay down in the ball pool.  Son 2 refused to go in his Pram.  Plank Boy.  “If you go in your pram, I’ll take you to see some owls and penguins and parrots,” I said softly.  Son 2 let me buckle him up.  “What do you say to an owl?” I said. “Ooooo,” he said.  At the Owls, I took him out so he could see them better.  He stared and pointed.  And then refused to go back in the Pram.  “I’ll take you to see some rabbits if you go in your Pram,” I said.  Again, he folded at the middle and sat quietly while I strapped him in.

Son 1 fed the goats with gusto.  Well, goat food really, but it was the first time he’s been casually confident in feeding them.  Like always, I fed the big goats to distract them so he could feed the babies.  This time though he enjoyed himself so much he didn’t care what size he ended up with.  When our bags were finished I picked up discarded goat food out of the long grass so he could keep feeding them.  He danced around me waiting for each pellet.  Son 2 fed the babies, but kept trying to eat the goat food himself.  We fed a Black Sheep.  Did you know Black Sheep have Black Tongues?  We missed the penguin feeding time, but we watched the otters.  They had chicks and fish and hearts and quail.

1.  The Good Idea

2. The Big Slide

3.  How to feed the kids

Son 1 aged 3y 11m is missing The Man very much.  He rang him this morning.  “I miss your voice.  I miss your body.  I want you here.” So to cheer ourselves up, we decided on a trip to The Bird Park.    We picked up Mother on the way and arrived at 1115.  I gave Son 2 aged 11m lunch, and then we went in the pre-school area with Son 1.  Son 2’s eyes were on stalks at the ball pool - he went in one last week at The Big Zoo and allbut hurdled the side to get in. I ‘m getting better at the one-mummy-two-boys play, so I did manage to keep including Son 1 as I looked after Son 2.

Son 1 wanted to go on the Big Slide, so I left Son 2 with Mother and the perennial standby for Son 2 “give him a fromage frais.”  Son 1’s never wanted to go on that Big Slide before.  It makes his tummy funny.  I wonder if he’d worked out that Son2 couldn’t come down it with us.  We sat on our mats side by side, and went down FAST.  Son 1 was delighted, and up we went again.  I like it.  I haven’t been on that slide with him since   very soon after I found I was pregnant with Son 2.   I remember zooming down on a mat with Son 1 thinking “you’re pregnant one month after a miscarriage, what do you think you’re doing?”   Today I did many, many laps of the big boy equipment with him.  I went up, down, under, over, through and round, clambered over everything and hauled him up and down too.  The thirty-something me would have signed up for that exercise class.     

Son 2 adored it.  It was the first time he’s needed to be out of The Pram/highchair for a Bird Park visit.  But he crawled over the toddler area, loved the Ball Pool, climbed up (with me) the frames and then held my hands while he walked round the top, enjoying pushing things out of the way.  He loved the animals too, reaching out for the birds, staring fascinated at two huge rabbits with mighty ears (yes I know they may have been hares.  But they were fat and tame and slow. Surely hares are thin and wild and jumpy?)  We bought goat food, and I fed the baby goats for him, being very sympathetic as these extremely young beings struggled with the tongue and teeth control needed for pelleted food.  And then Son 2 stuffed his starfish hand into the packet and held the food out for them himself.  The kids tugged at it with their tongues, but Son 2  has a death grip and wouldn’t let go.  A great day.  And then when we got back home they both ate microwaved salmon for tea.  All this and Omega 3 too.  Such A Perfect Day.