1.   Froggies

2.   Buggies

3.   Huggies

Really good, thank you, great weather, good journeys, no complaints, no complaints. Want some pictures? You’ll like this one: I dressed the boys for a 3am start in the UK, and we arrived at 12 noon our time and 25C, picked up the gleaming hire car and headed for the villa… Son 2 aged 2y 1m cried in the back, red spots burning in his cheeks, clearly overheated and distressed. “It’s ok, Son 2,” I kept saying. “We’re nearly there.” We stopped outside our destination. Vomit jetted out of him in pitiful spurts, swilling down his front and pooling in the car seat.  “I’s sick,” he said, hair plastered to his forehead.   Oh, but the swimming pool was lovely, the waiters loved children, the sun shone and the Bloody Marys racked up.  The Elegant Aunt and Golfmad Uncle had given us their timeshare, where we’ve stayed before, but had booked themselves another villa a few miles away to see the boys. “You’ll think it’s a bit Footballers’ Wives,” laughed the Elegant Aunt as she showed me around their new find.  Oh dear. I didn’t. I thought it was lovely.  Really lovely.  I didn’t dare tell her.  So we swam and went to the playground and the beach, and then this morning we trailed along the paths towards the hire car, and the boys spotted frogs in the water through the gardens. And I had a massive Pang, because we Just Don’t Get Enough Time Together As A Family.  And then I was Positive, because I know how lucky we are. And I am full of Holiday Resolutions which will Improve Our Lives.

Son 2, sitting in the back,  sang a song about his Ollday. Each verse finished on “Orl day long,” and Son 1 aged 5y 1m and I clapped each time.  Then he started to cry. “I’s sick,” he said.  “We’re nearly there, Son 2,” I said, mentally risk assessing. Garbage In = Garbage Out. He hadn’t had enough breakfast for anything untoward to happen.  The Man piled the trolley high with two suitcases, a sailbag, a hand-luggage-on-wheels-case, two car seats and assorted bits of carry-on stuff, including a Thomas The Tank Engine wheeled suitcase and an Early Learning Centre farm.  He zoomed off to return the hire car.   We paused in Departures. Son 2 threw up. Magnificently.  Great quantities of milk and bits which even I could smell.  I blotted him madly with muslins from the nappy bag, failing to notice that he was sitting in puddles of it in the buggy.  Son 1 had Euros from Golfmad Uncle in his pocket, and whined for the Sweetie Stall.     The Man returned, I broke open a case and found clean clothes. We checked in, sent the stinky buggy into the hold and sprayed ourselves in Wall-E scent from the toy bit of Duty Free.

The flight was a Total Nightmare.  Son 2 is a psychotic flyer and I Refuse To Go On A Plane With Him Again Ever.  It was worse than this: http://mumsnet.com/blogs/serenedays/2009/05/17/the-land-of-the-sand/  But it was only two and half hours in a 12 hour trip, there was a sachet of Calpol they didn’t spot in the nappy bag and we dosed him with that. But next time it’s Medised.  On the way we gave Son 1 his first trip to McDonald’s. A Happy Meal. Doesn’t like burgers, doesn’t really do stringy chips, but liked the tomato sauce and the toy.  Son 2 kept up the jeopardy with “I’s sick! I’s sick!” but we put Chitty Chitty Bang Bang on the portable DVD and he seemed to forget. Back home we unpacked. And I have a Triumph. We bought too much wine out there and couldn’t drink it all. So I brought it back.  I am a Member Of Mumsnet.  We can Solve Problems.  In the suitcase, in the hold, and it didn’t break.  Wrapped in clingfilm, a carrier bag each, two of The Man’s tee-shirts which I hate so wouldn’t care if we had to throw them out… and the particular stroke of genius of which I am very proud: Son 2’s swimnappies.  One at each end of the bottles. And one turned inside out on either side in case the worse happened.  6 Euros Over There will be Very Nice Over Here.  And Kim, who is keen on the brand, and has been kind enough to comment, at last I can give you your heading…

1.  Roar Power

2.  Pushing Ahead

3. Raw Power

Every night, when I’ve turned off the light in the kitchen, I’ve been roared at. The first time it happened, The Man was away.  I froze and stared at the light fitting, wondering what I’d done to it to make it go so wrong.  http://mumsnet.com/blogs/serenedays/2009/04/14/changing-things/ Since then, at the end of each day, I have jumped out of my skin and hoped it wasn’t a sign of an electrical fault which would burn the house down.  Eventually I worked out that the noise wasn’t coming from the light, but from the filled-in fireplace where the toys are kept. Aha. A light sensitive toy, I thought. Beyond that I was baffled.  I’d eyed the ridiculously loud fire truck suspiciously but hadn’t had time to check. Although it did keep making me jump very late at night.  This morning I managed to tidy and clear out some toys.  I put a missing tiger shape back into a wooden ELC jigsaw.  Get the shape right and the puzzle makes the right animal noise. It roared at me.  Well, now you know how those work.

Son 1 aged 4y 9m did a poo without his booster seat. “I don’t need it any more.”  Hooray hooray.  I’m very Lazy Parent over Son 1’s milestones. I waited till he was two and half before toilet training, because I couldn’t be bothered earlier. Then we did it in a week, with him learning very quickily that every wee in the potty got him a chocolate button.  We still take the old McLaren buggy out with us if we walk somewhere and think he won’t be able to walk back. I read a thread on Mumsnet discussing how old your children were when you stopped using pushchairs.  some people guiltily confessed to still having older children in them… and Son 1 was older then any of them.  I think that was about three months ago.  Son 2 aged 21m is exactly opposite and will never relax his plank-boy body long enough to strap him in the Big Pram. Unless Son 1 wants to get in, of course, in which case he won’t get out. 

The Rockpool Beach. Blue sky, light wispy cloud, but a gusting easterly wind.  Son 2 was a joy, Son 1 was trickier, but played well with Three Year Old Friend. Best Friend and Little Brother are on  holiday. We collected shells - I found a cowrie, which The Other Mother told me to keep for luck. There was a four inch black sea slug in a rock pool.  Plus a couple of fish and shrimp. I went for a swim in the sea, but it was low tide, and the waves were higher than my head when I was standing hip-deep.  I didn’t have to do my usual inching-in routine because I’d been smacked into, buffeted, knocked off balance and sprayed within a few steps. I swam out a few strokes, swimming up and over the top of the waves, and then semi-surfed back on them, but it was just too random to enjoy. Waves were breaking over my head, and I was in sunglasses (yes I know) and contact lenses.  And I was getting pounded onto rocks and seaweed in less than two feet of water.  I can’t have been in more than 10 minutes but I was breathless when I got out. It was amazing experiencing the power in the sea, and I just didn’t feel the cold…  But I can’t help thinking, having just read back what I’ve written, that it might have been…er.. a little bit dangerous.  

1.  Sounds like…

2.  Dropped It

3.  Sleeping over 

Son 2 aged 11m is a delight with his speech.  Son 1 aged 3 y 10m has a little blue ELC keyboard.  Son 2 knows how the microphone works.  I hold him up, he bangs on the keyboards, tries to push drum buttons, gets the microphone, puts his lips round it and goes Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.  Son 2 loves anything with buttons, lights and noise.   He loves remote controls.  Age appropriate toys is for babies. He can say na-na… but we think he might be using it for “food.”   He can say “yeah” and “nah.”  He can say his own version of ”dropped it.”  I swear he came out with a pretty good try at Son 1’s name.  And when I was reading him “Mr Brown Can Moo,” I said “He can sound like a bee, Mr Brown can buzz.  How about you? Can you go buzzzzz?” He blew a raspberry.  Which I think is pretty neat.   

Son 1 played with Wonder Nanny, while I Got On.  I think all I really want is someone to Get On while I play with the children.  Both he and Son 2 were wiped out with tiredness today, but I couldn’t get them to sleep.  Son 1 has a friend round for his very first sleep over. We went to M and S to get stuff for tea.  I loaded the buggy so heavily with shopping that when we got back to the house it tipped backwards and bashed Son 1’s head on the path.  Oops.    I am such a cartoon The Crap Mother Who… didn’t strap her baby in the pram and dropped him on his head (pre-blog incident.) … didn’t watch her crawling baby on the bed so he fell off on his head… overloaded the buggy so her pre-schooler fell on his head…

Son 1’s friend arrived.  Dressed as a pirate.  I think I’m in the acceptance stage  now, after 17 months of the pirate craze.  So what if 3 year olds know what to expect when they come to stay at our house?  I don’t even need to plot to make sure Son 2 likes pirates too.  He can already do a passable “Ha-harrr.”   Anyway.  The boys ran off to the garden, where The Man, clock-watching till he could go out for a drink, supervised.  They came back for tea.  Which was a little pig-heavy: sausages, sausage rolls and ham sandwiches, but I did let Son 1 choose the menu.  I bathed and fed Son 2 and put him to sleep.  The boys played in the garden, and then came in for a story. Bath time was fine, they were reasonably quiet.  Cleaning The Friend’s teeth was  a joy.  A child who bares his teeth and keeps his head still.  Cleaning Son 1’s teeth was wretched.  Mouth open a paper width.  Head helter-skeltering.  Stories, boys in bed - we made The Friend’s from our winter quilt - and they are now both soundo. 

1.  Bath-time

2.  2 boys asleep 

3.  The Family

Holiday. The first week off we have together as a family, just us, since Christmas.  I had a bath instead of a shower, with my birthday bubble bath.  And 2 small boys.  Son 2 aged 11m was in first, fascinated by the bubbles, clenching and unclenching his hand, staring at them as they popped.  Son 1 came running in, stripped off and stepped in.  Son 2 instantly started splashing him and laughing. Great big baby hand splashes, and leaning back against me and kicking with his fat legs.  Then he started bouncing - enjoying the bouyancy of a bath far fuller than normal.  I lifted him each time, and he chortled and chortled, splashing Son 1.  Son 1 played with the bubbles.  Son 2 was getting cold, so The Man took him to get him dry.  HOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLLLLLL.   I used to have baths with Son 1 every Saturday morning.  Today was the second time Son 2’s had a bath with me.  Pang.

We gave the boys an early lunch, and then headed into Town.  Son 1 was playing up, Son 2 was screeching - both with tiredness.    So.  Son 2 in the Big Pram.  Son 1 in the buggy.  We figured we could push them to The Square on the other side of Town and they’d be asleep, and then we could have a coffee.   By the time we got across Town, Son 1 was dozing.  Then something being loaded into a shop dropped with a loud clatter, and he nearly leapt out of the buggy.  I saw his hands flail out at the sides like a startled newborn, but he didn’t wake.  They were both asleep when we got to the cafe.  We ordered coffee. Workmen were dismantling the Festival marquee in The Square.  Even before the drinks arrived, a pole was dropped.  CLANG.    A loud wail from the Big Pram.  Son 2 didn’t go back to sleep.        

The family came down from Far Far Away.  Teenaged Niece has been competing in a sea swimming contest over the weekend, about an hour’s drive from us.  She, Sister In Law and Teenaged Nephew were coming over for a cup of tea before heading home this afternoon.  They’re back down again at the weekend.   It took us about half an hour to wake Son 1.  He’s always adored his cousins and he was delighted.  TNc and TNp were young and charming.  She’d won silver medals, and talked about drinking games while she was competing in Germany.  He had huge headphones on the whole time “Have you heard of Coldplay?” and was pestering SiL to get him the latest Artemis Fowl.   ”More sleep, but different challenges,” said Sister In Law.