1. Second Sons
2. Settling Sons
3. Getting Sons
The Man took Son 1 aged 5 to school, which left Son 2 aged 2 and I having a serene start. He wanted to watch telly, so I parked him in front of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. He sat on my lap. “Mummy wot wi me.” I watched Truly Scrumptious billow chiffon around the annoying children on the beach. A Wednesday Mum texted. Swimming. We have been barred from the swimming pool for four years - since the birth of the first Second Son. You cannot go swimming with two under fives in The Town Pool. All our First Sons are now in school… so we can now take our little collection of Son 2s. Great news. The bad news is I still haven’t replaced my sagging swimsuit. (I tried Bravissimo, as recommended by Katherine, found a costume I liked but was then asked to register. And I couldn’t be bovved.) I went to get ready. When I came down Granny had done all the washing up and tidying. It were brill.
It rained and rained. We collected one Wednesday Mum and went off to the Town Pool. The other arrived later. In a knockout swimming costume. I clutched Son 2 lovingly to my bosom whenever I left the water. He can swim in his armbands now. I watched him find his balance in the water and, for the first time, experiment with his arms and legs to see the effect. He swam a good width. He jumped onto Mummy. He played with the Nearly Four Year Old’s toys. He splashed in the shallow end. He ordered me into the bubble bath. He is a joy, and I’m thinking of going each week. We were there 90 minutes, until he lost his trademark ramrod carriage and flopped against me. We had another soaking getting into the car. We dropped off the Wednesday Mum and NFYO near a cafe entrance. “Ow,” said Son 2, in his most disappointed voice. ”We are going to the cafe, darling, we just have to park.” All three boys were heavenly, sitting still and quietly eating their snacks, proving my theory that over-exercising creates Perfect Children. These are boys who can sear paint off with their slipstream.
After another drenching, we dropped off Wednesday Mum and NFYO, and picked up Granny. Son 2 was unconscious. Down to the Town Square to meet The Man. We lifted Son 2 into The Big Pram and he barely moved. We ordered lunch. Someone I know slightly was in the Telegraph so I went out to get it. Son 2 woke, unhappy. He didn’t eat, but he did settle in the end. After lunch we thought about shopping, but the rain still hammered down. The Parking Fairy had two spots outside the house, so in we went. Son 2, who’d spent all day saying “Get Son 1 from school” decided he wanted to stay at home and watch Chitty Chitty with Granny. I got wringing wet walking from the car to the school to get Son 1. And back again.
Tags: bravissimo, cafe, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Granny, learning to swim, Parking Fairy, perfect children, raining, swimming, swimsuit, The Town Pool, Town Square
