1. Spellbound
2. The Evil Queen
3. New Lamps For Old
And again, I couldn’t get them up. I have decided to Be Positive and Not Take This Personally. It is getting darker in the mornings. That is why Son 1 aged 5 and Son 2 aged 2 are struggling in the mornings. Still, it gave me time to tumble dry Son 1’s school shorts. Which he sprayed yoghurt on in the car on the way home yesterday. Bloody Frubes again. So. I was Mrs Perfect Housewife and had them cleaned, dried and ready to be worn when I finally tow-trucked him out of bed this morning. He tipped milk down them when he was having his breakfast.
Mrs Perfect Housewife turned into Mother From Hell this afternoon. I picked up Son 1, who was leaping and laughing because we were going to the Joke Shop in The Town to see if they have a magic kit. A reward for coming home with Heavenly Photos. Son 1 wants a magic wand. I agreed, thinking he wanted one of the ones he sees at parties - rigid in the hands of the magician, floppy when the children hold it. Since saying ‘yes’ it has slowly dawned on me that he thinks a magic wand is… er.. magic. Anyway. Outside The House. Heading for The Town. “I want to ride in the Pram.” “Darling you’re five, you’re too big. And anyway, Son 2’s in the Pram.” “Wark.” “No, you go in the Pram, then we can get to the shop before it closes.” “Wark.” “Oh all right, but you’ll have to wear your reins. And walk, Son 2, no, don’t stop to look at a feather. If you want to walk, then walk. Son 1, I cannot manage you in the Pram and Son 2 on the reins. Son 2 will you walk! Put the stone down! If you don’t walk you’re getting in the Pram…” So. I stuffed Son 2 in the Big Pram “Wark! Wark!” He cried and corkscrewed and twisted himself out. Everytime he got out, Son 1 got in. I put Son 2 back in. He screeched so loudly people on the other side of the street stopped talking to look over. And so I marched us all home, with Son 1 crying and begging to be allowed to go to the Joke Shop. At home I stripped Son 2, put him in his sleeping bag (to stop him climbing) pulled the blinds down and shoved him in the cot. Gave Son 1 a vast chocolate bar to stop him crying and poured a large glass of white wine.
Son 2 and I are also developing a battle of the wills over toilet training. He wants to give it a go. I have just bought 132 nappies in two big boxes. “Wee wee!” “Oh, do it in your nappy.” “Want loo. Want pot pot.” He did another poo in the loo this evening. I wanted to lie on the bed reading books to him. He wanted to get up and wee in the potty every five minutes. I have run out of chocolate buttons. Which should slow the little beggar down a bit. I got them to bed and then sorted out the recycling. Two birthday teas, two birthdays and a huge party have passed since the last collection. We have generated mountains of cardboard, paper and bottles. I have positioned our pile far down The Terrace. To make it easier for the recycling men to load it on the lorry, of course.
Tags: behaviour problems, Big Pram, darker mornings, frubes, Joke Shop, lying in, magic wand, recycling, tantrums, toilet training, tumble drier
