1. Off Colour
2. Off Day
3. Off Switch
The Man left ridiculously early on a Business Trip. I was up at 6am, to tidy up, get the lunches, sort out the clothes, chop chop busy busy work work bang bang. The boys slept and slept. Oh for them to lie in their comas on a day when I can sleep in as well. I showered and did my hair and make up. Still no sign of life. I woke Son 2 aged 21 m and did his reading with him. I woke Son 1 aged 4y 8m. He flopped on to the double bed in Son 2’s room. Son 1 has a cough, his throat sounds sore and he was clearly exhausted. Wonder Nanny arrived and we got him in his uniform. We said our goodbyes and off I drove. I looked at him in the rearview mirror. He was flopped in his car seat, his head propped by the side rest, his eyes glazed and staring. I spun round and took him home.
I too am blatted by the lurgy, and had a wretched day at The Office. Being positive, I saw a colleague on maternity leave who’s returned one of Son 1’s potties for Son 2 to try. But throughout the day I got more fluey, and I really shouldn’t be driving. Just little things go, like my ability to judge speed and distance. After work I took about 4 goes to reverse park the car outside the house. I looked up and Wonder Nanny, Son 1 and Son 2 were sitting in the window clapping and laughing. Wonder Nanny said they’d been fine, they’d both had a sleep, she’d kept them calpol-d up and they’d had a quiet day. She left.
And they sprouted horns. I was feeling dog rough. i put Son 2 in his cot, sang him his lullabies, did my usual Night Night with my hand on him, left to go into Son 1 and hell was unleashed. He cried and screamed. “Mummeee! Mummmmeee! Mummmeee!” It went on and on and on. One of those Oh-God-I-Should-Have-Gone-To-Him-Earlier-But-I-Can’t-Now-Because-He’ll-Just-Scream-Forever-Next-Time horrors. All through Son 1’s stories. When it finally stopped, I tiptoed in to check him. And he was still awake, lying exhausted on the pillow. As soon as he saw me he started again. I gave him milk, held him, put him down, stroked him, kissed him, said Good Night and left. “Mummmeeee!” I got down from Son 1 at 20 to 8. By 8 he was already downstairs again, crawling around under the washing. “Come child, you have delighted us enough,” I said, serenely. All right then. Cold-ridden, tired, pissed off, I snapped. “Bugger off Son 1, this is Mummy Time.” He burst into tears and scampered upstairs. I ate, worked and rang a colleague from The Office. And again, down came a little ghostie. ”I couldn’t hear you and I was worried sick about you.” I put a fleece on him, gave him a hot chocolate and let him sit there and watch the mundanity of my late evening world of housework. “Can I wee in the potty?” he asked. “No,” I said, 17 times. “Why?” “Because I can’t be bothered to clean it out.” He went for a wee. He did it in the potty. He tried to empty it himself. I cleared up the wee from the loo seat, the side of the loo, the loo floor and washed the potty out.
Tags: business trip, cough, evening waking, flu, potty, sleep problems, virus, Wonder Nanny
