1.  The Most Beautifully Behaved

2.  The Most Tired.

3. The Most Deserving

Son 1 aged 4y 1m got Star of The Week at Nursery.  Knock me down with a feather.  He sat in the car all the way there on Monday and talked non-stop about how he wanted to be Star of The Week.  And today, there he is, with his sticker and his certificate.  Named called in assembly, up to the front, children and teachers clapping.  “How did you feel when they called your name?” I asked.  “Happy,” he smiled. His certificate says “for trying very hard and behaving beautifully all week.”  I have told The Man it would be good to see him winning next week.

The Man is back.  Nice to see him.  We have been engaged in a game of competitive tiredness.  He has driven overnight but slept in the daytime from 11am till Son 1 scurried upstairs to get him at 5 pm.  I got five hours sleep last night but have worked all day and all evening.  And the  Certificate goes to….    Mummy.

I had a phone call from an Old Friend, a twenty-something we’ve known since she was eight years old.  She rang my mobile, and then texted.  “I can ring you back at 11am,” I texted.  I finally rang her back at 7.30pm. Second boy born nearly three weeks ago.   And he has reflux.  We had a long chat.  She’s giving him formula just to settle him; he’s bringing up the breast milk.  She’s got Gaviscon but they’re having problems getting in.  And he howls all night.   I suggested she gives the Gaviscon before or during the feed… that she mixes it with milk - formula, or if she wants to try to help her supply - expressed milk.  And to hassle the health service again so she gets some help.  It was very nice to hear her voice, but she sounds worn out.  Might let the Who’s The Most Tired certificate go to the New Mummy.

A bit different tonight. 

I’ve now done 200 of this, which is a reason to be Glad already.  I’ve been back at The Office seven months.  I’m still here, and  I’m still at work.  This time last time I was heading full speed off the post-natal depression cliff, and I’m not now.    Possibly because of The Blog, or more likely the dollops of counselling I had when  I was ill.  Either way I do spend my days trying to be Positive, and spotting the Three Good Things That Happen Every Day.    So that makes me an expert in Going Back, and here’s my survival plan for anyone facing it:

Expect to be overwhelmed.  Accept it.  Don’t moan about it, don’t fight it and don’t try and fix it.    You won’t beat it,  It won’t get easier, no-one will notice how hard you try… so live with it.    There is so much to do you cannot do it all,  so just have that as your starting - and finishing - point.   I am overwhelmed at work.  I am overwhelmed at home.  And it’s fine. 

Because there are special moments.  Son 2 aged 14m, after his MMR this morning.  A heart-stopping scream, cured with a slurp of smoothie.  “Son 1 (aged 4y 1m) doesn’t want to go to Africa any more since his MMR top-up,” I told the nurse.  ”He doesn’t want any more noodles.  He used to want to go on safari to see lions and elephants and giraffes.”  “Uuhhh,” said Son 2, pointing at the picture I hadn’t noticed on the wall.  Showing the ark, and the animals going in two-by-two.  With lions and elephants and giraffes…