women compared to men

[MyBarbaricYawp]

Just that really. My bullies at school, college and work were women...yet I feel such an affinity with women. To balance it, my best friend is a woman and she is brilliant plus I have four fantastic sisters. Despite my negative experiences I am firmly on women's side. Men however seem to hate all women because of one.

I have never felt the way that bitter and sad men do - the ones who blame the opposite sex for all their problems. What is different between women and men?

[fifi669]

I think the reverse is also true. A lot of women on here are very quick to label and blame men.

[BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure]

"Men however seem to hate all women because of one."

I have never known any men like this.

Welcome to MN, btw.

[FellReturneth]

Despite my negative experiences I am firmly on women's side. Men however seem to hate all women because of one.

Generalising much? What utter tosh.

[MoonlightandRoses]

Which one? (Also what Bill said)

[MyBarbaricYawp]

You think I'm a troll. I namechanged...used to be SplitHeadGirl.
sigh ok. Just thought I might start an interesting debate on why women and men think the way that we do.
Forget it.

[MyBarbaricYawp]

I reported this thread so hopefully it will be removed and I will not come into FWR again.

[BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure]

Sorry, MBY.

It was a pretty provocative generalisation and I may have reacted unfairly.

[CaptChaos]

For what it's worth, I don't think men hate all women because of one woman. I believe that the type of man who goes off on one about women has actually been hurt by men, by not getting the job they want, the woman they want or the college place they want. However, because they are, or feel they are, powerless against other men, they turn on women.

It's all part of male entitlement, but, because these are (or feel themselves to be) pretty ineffectual men within patriarchy, they don't feel able to compete with other men, so they make women's lives a misery.

Don't know if that makes any sense, and maybe I am making excuses for the way some of the more vocal misogynists behave, but I would love to be educated.

Sorry you got the reception you did SHG, however, if you reread your OP and compare it to some of the trolling posts we get on here.....

[MontyGlee]

I've found a lot of embitterment from men stems from ex-wives and the circumstances of divorce settlements.

[FellReturneth]

But again, that works both ways. There is an enormous amount of embitterment to be found in many, many women as the result of marriage/LTR break-up too, you just have to read MN to know that.

Men may frequently feel they've come off worst financially and in the divorce settlement, but to be honest that is often very true. Especially if the break-up was at the behest of the wife, the man did nothing technically wrong (wasn't unfaithful or violent or abusive) but yet the wife decides she wants out, so he has to move out, he has to find extra money for a grotty flat while she stays in the family home, he has to be apart from his children, etc etc.

Can hardly blame some of them for being a bit bitter about it, can you?

[AnnieLobeseder]

FellReturneth - if the man had been as involved in the life of his children as his wife, if he had given up, or even scaled back his career to raise them, then he would be the one getting stay in the family home. And the default position of the courts is 50/50 residency. Men can't expect to live a life detached from the day-to-day minutiae of raising children (doing homework, packing PE kits, remembering lunch money, arranging doctor's appointments, knowing who class teachers and best friends are) and then get equal consideration when it comes to a split between the parents. Men need to accept the risk they take when they agree to a domestic set-up where they absolve themselves of the majority of domestic responsibility.

MyBarbaricYawp - don't go getting all stroppy now because your thread didn't go the way you wanted. If you read back over your initial post you may see that whether you intended it or not, you were making gross generalisations about the behaviour and opinions of men and women, and if there's one thing that riles up feminists, it's sweeping statements like "men do this" and "women do that". And you ask what the "difference" between men and women is. IMO there is no actual "difference" beyond the basics of biology - any differences we see between men-as-a-class and women-as-a-class tend to be artificial constructs resulting from how men and women are socialised. If you want to discuss how society may socialise men and women differently and the effects of that socialisation, you're more likely to get positive responses.

[sausageeggbacon11]

Annie your right that men either need to accept the risk or avoid it altogether. I am having to accept the fact I may not be a grandmother. DD has her heart set on a career in science and her studies are getting her there, however both my boys have heard me talk about the implications of becoming a parent in modern society and both at the moment feel that they don't want to be fathers given the risks. DS1 is just at that age where I am now very concerned about his relationships but he did show common sense when his last girlfriend was talking about going on the pill so he could stop using condoms. He decided that he wasn't happy about not having some control over his reproductive rights. And I am really happy that his common sense prevailed. But I have the feeling more and more young men with their heads screwed on are going to do exactly the same thing.

[AnnieLobeseder]

Your children sound imminently sensible about their futures and responsibility over the reproductive health, sausage. But I am scientist with 2 DDs, as are many of my female colleagues, so don't despair over your DD yet! She may decide not to have children, but it's not incompatible with having chilren.

Sorry to derail the thread with this, but it occurred to me as I was hanging out the washing how women get the blame for all the shit that happens when a relationship breaks down if she is a SAHM. When a couple decide that the man should be the earner and the woman a SAHM, both take a certain risk regarding the relationship breaking down: he takes the risk that he will lose the house and access to his children, she takes the risk that she will irreparably damage her career and not be able to support herself alone, including having no pension.

But funnily enough, if the relationship does break down, firstly, she's stupid for not having taken responsibility for her own financial future and sacrificing her career. And secondly, she's a bitch for kicking the man out of his own home and keeping him from 24/7 access to his children. It's all "poor man" and "nasty, stupid woman". Even if he was the one to end the relationship.

[itsbetterthanabox]

I know what you mean op. You do meet the occasional man who has a chip on his shoulder about women and blames a women from his youth but these are usually MRA type misogynistic men anyway. Culture tells us women are irritating, stupid bitches who withhold sex and some men believe that and think women really are all like that. Sad but that's patriarchy.

[SplitHeadGirlAgain]

Hey thanks everyone for all your amazing responses...you as usual were so right, so thanks. And special thanks to Annie who really said what I meant to say. Sorry for being so useless before..

[SplitHeadGirlAgain]

Oh yeah...can't keep away fro the FWR boards. It is the feminist in me! :)

[BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure]

Glad you're sticking around, SHG!

[AICM]

To be honest "its better" I know many women with a chip on their shoulder too!

I think the people on the extreme ends of any debate tend to hold views that are a bit over the top.