We would like DH to go full time, and you to work shifts around him. Aargh!

[Flexibilityiskey]

This is what I was told unofficially by my line manager this week. He was just warning me, that there was a review of part time working hours coming up. I am so annoyed! DH and I have, what I think is a good, and fair arrangement.

We both work almost, but not quite full time, 24/7 shifts, doing the exact same job. At the time I just sat there, put my innocent face on, and asked why that way round. Of course he couldn't give a reason, and then, got flustered, and said it could be either way. I had been merrily going along, thinking, that equality is more the norm these days, and we are getting there. I think I have just had a rude awakening. It seems the assumption that men are more important is alive and well.

[MostlyCake]

Why does the current arrangement have to change at all? And you're right, the automatic assumption that you would b the one to take on crazy shift work is ridiculous.

Has the decision been taken? I didn't think you could change people's working conditions without proper consultation.

[Flexibilityiskey]

No, the decision hasn't been made, or at least, not as far as I know. This was my line manager warning me that that is what they want to happen. I will be called to see the boss in the next few weeks apparently to discuss it. I can't wait for that conversation!

[Flexibilityiskey]

It is the assumption that I will cut my hours further while DH goes full time that has annoyed me. Unfortunately crazy shifts come with the job.

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

You need to check up on your policies etc and go into the meeting armed with all the facts wrt them being able to change your contract, etc. And both you and DH have to absolutely shut down any attempt to see you as a 'tag team'. You are two completely separate employees - if my boss was to say 'actually, we think you should go onto shifts so that Flexi's husband can go f/t' I would of course tell them to go to the far side of fuck. They cannot see your marriage as a 'work marriage' if you see what I mean.

And they cannot, of course, discriminate against you which might be something you want to remind them of

If hours have to be changed then they have to go out and consult the full team and there is a legal process - I'd speak to HR/or at the very least repost on legal before your meeting. FFS.

[Flexibilityiskey]

Thanks, I will certainly be checking what they can and can't do.

[Dozer]

I would email him recording the conversation and your Q.

[beccajoh]

Email him to record what you've discussed. "Further to our conversation this morning this is to confirm you informed me of XYZ."

[FrozenAteMyDaughter]

On top of everything already said above, bear in mind also that this could have financial implications for you, depending on your salaries. For example, if you are both basic rate taxpayers now but an increase in one of your work hours would tip that person into higher rate tax, not only will you be paying more tax in total as a couple - so far, everything you pay is at basic rate (20%) but then suddenly one of you is paying their top slice at 40% - but also if one person's income increases sufficiently you could also lose your entitlement to child benefit as a couple despite not earning any more in total.

Just something also to think about if relevant.

[Flexibilityiskey]

Unfortunately there is no way they would commit to email. As soon as I asked why it had been suggested that way round, he went rapidly into reverse. Frozen, we would certainly not agree to this. They would have to force it on us, which I am hopeful that they can't/won't do. It works well for us with us both working, and earning roughly the same. It would not be fair for one of us to do more work than the other, and get less time with DS. As we are able to share things equally, it makes sense to carry on that way if possible. It just seems it makes some people at work uncomfortable, which is something I hadn't realised until now.

[Didactylos]

this is quite shocking - how the hell can they even think this is appropriate?

Yes you are a couple and share finances but that has nothing to do with your work. What about the implications for your tax payments, child benefit, pension contributions, what if you did ever split up?

I would send the 'just to clarify our discussion on xx July email' because that will either make them confirm this proposition or back off completely. And then contact HR and your union if the proposition rears its head again during the part time working review - they would really have to have a good case and reason to change your contracted arrangments.

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Unfortunately there is no way they would commit to email.

Yes, that is why you ask by email, as they won't respond or will tell you in writing that you must have been confused. Which you will then have in writing, won't you.

You have to play the game - act dumb blonde and ask them to confirm your understanding by email.

[CaptChaos]

I agree with the emails. It's always useful to have a paper-trail in these situations

[BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure]

I'm glad they've backtracked when asked to put it in writing.

[noblegiraffe]

Are you in a union? If not, now might be the time to join one.

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Also, re emails, failure to respond is noted as acceptance of the content. If he disagrees he needs to respond.