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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

I am completely and utterly beautiful, body wise.

57 replies

Reality · 14/10/2013 07:56

I was going to have this as an AIBU but then I thought, nah, you lot will get it. I hope so, anyway.

I got out of the shower and was standing in my bedroom in bra and pants, putting the washing away. I caught sight of myself in the mirror and literally thought 'fuckeroo'.

I'm 33 and have had three children, and my body shows all the signs of that. I have a huge skintag, some ill thought out tattoos and lots of scars and stretchmarks. Just so you know I'm not talking about some magazine standard of beautiful Grin

But honestly, I had a bit of a moment. It's a beautiful thing. I've grown three whole people in it, for a start, but it's more than that, it's my body and my skin and I live in it and it's amazing. I've probably abused it more than the average person with hard living and self harm, but it's kept me safe and healthy. And it looks FABULOUS. I was all glowy and scrubbed from the shower, and I was just blown away by how gorgeous and amazing my body is.

Anyway, the moment was fairly fleeting, and it was broken by DD warbling and DS1 telling her to shut up, usual morning service was resumed. But I wanted to share it in a sisterhood kind of way, and urge you all to find those moments.

Happy monday!

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Boosterseattheballcleaner · 14/10/2013 08:27

Happy Monday Reality. Grin

This is a great thread for a Monday morning.

I might not be thin but I am confident and strong
I might have stretchmarks but I earned my stripes.
I'm not perfect but i am enough.

I embrace what I have and what it has done and spend more time making sure I have a beautiful inside rather than focusing on the out.

Life is too beautiful to spend time being bothered about if I am.

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Yama · 14/10/2013 08:38

I like my body too.

Like you, I have abused it somewhat but even if I could go back in time, I know the me of my teens and twenties wouldn't have listened. Was having too much fun. Wink

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eggyweggies · 14/10/2013 08:43

What a fantastic post!

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Mama1980 · 14/10/2013 08:45

I like mine too Grin I was in a car crash 6 years ago when 26 weeks pregnant. My body kept my baby alive long enough for help to arrive and has since grown another baby until he could survive against odds of less than 20%. I may have more scars than anyone may think possible and it may not work very well anymore but it is beautiful and amazing.

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Boosterseattheballcleaner · 14/10/2013 08:46

wow Mama1980 just wow!

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AnyFucker · 14/10/2013 08:47
Smile
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yeghoulsandlittledevils · 14/10/2013 08:47

Thank you, reality. I have been busy checking all our tongues for ill health this morning, from a link on another thread!

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Helpyourself · 14/10/2013 08:54

Grin
I love my body too. It does its job! It aches from participating in an elite sport with DS at the weekend. I felt very lucky I could do it, albeit badly without embarrassing him or me and the aches are reminding me and making me feel very proud this morning.
Great thread, Reality Thanks

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DontGiveAwayTheHomeworld · 14/10/2013 08:55

I love those moments too Smile we are all beautiful people, inside and out

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TheBookofRuth · 14/10/2013 09:06

God, I love my body. It's gorgeous. It lets me do wonderful, incredible things.

I get so sad when I read all the threads on here from women who are so full of self-loathing just because their bodies don't fit into a tiny narrow category of "beauty" dictated by outside forces.

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fuckwittery · 14/10/2013 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigkidsdidit · 14/10/2013 09:11

Me too :)

Having children did this for me. I guess it looks worse than before, but I am blown away that I grew children and gave birth to them and breastfed them. I did that! I'm so proud of myself and my body. I love it now where I used to be very self conscious and always dieting. I feel very I am woman hear me roar about it :)

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RandallPinkFloyd · 14/10/2013 09:13

Hear hear (or is it here here, I'm still not completely sure) but anyway.
I concur!

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MurderOfBanshees · 14/10/2013 09:17

Wonderful post :)

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InsultingBadger · 14/10/2013 09:21

This is very strange as I did exactly the same thing this morning. I looked at my shape and thought bloody hell, you look better than you ever have! Stretch marks, scars, tattoos etc all included Smile

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MrsMangoBiscuit · 14/10/2013 09:37

Fantastic thread! Thank you OP.

I'm almost 4 weeks post EMCS, plus an extra 2+ hours abdominal surgery, so I'm not loving how my body looks at the moment, and I'm not loving feeling a bit weak while I heal up. But fuck me am I proud of it! I was full of scar tissue, but my body still managed to make and carry another baby, and do it's best to get her safely in to the world. Despite the pounding it got during the op, I've still bounced back really quickly. I'm amazed at my body's resilience. As for my stretch marks, I love them! I will be flaunting them in a bikini next summer. Grin

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BadSeedsAddict · 14/10/2013 10:04

Have spent years hating my body and am only just starting to have these 'moments'. Am looking after myself and feel optimistic. The OP made me cry a little. So does the Tim Minchin song about 'This is my body...'

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AnyFucker · 14/10/2013 10:13

I am more "in love" with my body in my 40's then when I was in my 20's. My long legs were an inconvenience back then and made me stand out (which I hated), now I use my height to my advantage.

My lack of curves when all my friends were womanly and voluptuous (and about a foot shorter than me ) is a big plus point as I eat what I like and never put on weight. They also got a lot of unwelcome attention from men for how they looked while I got mistaken for a boy from behind Smile

When I was pg I sailed through it (apart from early sickness) and was still shaving my legs and tieing my shoelaces right to the end, put only about a stone on and lost it when baby was born.

My body needed a bit of help to conceive (and stay past the first few weeks) but once done, it took over the job with utter perfection and hasn't let me down since.

I stay fit doing my job and often get incredulous comments when I mention my age.

I love my body (and what it is capable of)

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Boosterseattheballcleaner · 14/10/2013 10:21

I was 17 when i had my son, I had comments thrown at me about losing my body before I even got started but i refuse to feel I have missed out.

I have created a wonderful,kind,loving DS who makes me proud everyday.

My body allows me to jump crawl out of bed every single day and spend time with my son. As long as I am alive i am grateful for another day.

Life really is too short. Flowers

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ILoveAFullFridge · 14/10/2013 10:31

From reading the title I was about to get ANGRY! Why should I have to have a beautiful body? Why can't I just be me, unjudged? But I read the OP before flaming, and I'm glad I did. Because, of course, I agree. It's just a different way of expressing the same sentiments.

I moved into a house with wall-to-wall-floor-to-ceiling mirrors in the bedroom. Urgh. Before I look at my naked self in the mirror, I want the chance to suck tummy in, shoulders back, head up. The last thing I want is to open the ensuite door and get an eyeful of that. Shudder.

But one morning I walked out of the ensuite, naked, obese, and 6m pregnant with dc3 - so stretchmarked up to my neck as well - and got such a wonderful surprise. I looked just like the ancient standard of beauty: I looked like an idol of Astoreth, the goddess of fertility and good fortune. Pear-shaped, with big belly, thighs and big saggy bust. Astoreth, who was worshipped by women, not just by randy men.

Changed my view of myself.

Smile

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Reality · 14/10/2013 20:06

i posted and ran off to work this morning and ive only just had a chance to sit down and read through all your posts.

I feel all emotional now, I'm glad i started this.

Thanks

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PenguinsDontEatPancakes · 14/10/2013 20:56

I was at a really interesting talk on body image last week.

There were a few things that stood out for me. The first was what you were talking about on this thread. Thinking about your body for what it can do, not just how it looks. Not analysing it as a piece of meat with good bits and bad bits. But thinking, as people on this thread have said "This body can birth children. This body is meet the physical demands of looking after young children. This body gives my husband a hug after a long day...."

Without wanting to rain on the parade, it also got me thinking about the importance of not focusing on what we can see, whether that is acceptance of the body or otherwise. Lionel Shriver was talking about how, when we see a friend, we say "Nice to see you" and we mean the person. It is nice to see the person. We don't mean "nice to see your physical attributes". And maybe we ought to learn to look at ourselves that way.

She also talked about how self improvement used to mean learning french, doing cordon bleu cookery. And now it always, always means heading to the gym or some other aspect of our physical body. That really struck me. That shift.

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PumpkinGuts · 14/10/2013 20:57

Ha :(

I nearly started a thread this morning titled "wouldn't it be great to be a naked toddler"

I was watching dd and ds run butt nekid through the house with not a care in the world about their legs or their bellies. And I can barely look in to a mirror with out crying. Dh has never seen me walk past him naked.

Lovely to think others haven't got this problem though..just a bit sad for myself.

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PumpkinGuts · 14/10/2013 20:58

*oh and for the record I do let the dc see me naked and don't let on in front of them how I feel about myself.. that wouldn't be fair.

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Neitheronethingortheother · 14/10/2013 21:14

I like my body when i am looking after it. I go through phases of exercising well and eating ok. I swim for 30 mins on a friday when the kids are having lessons and I love how my body cuts and glides through the water and can feel it toning and getting stronger. I love how my body looks through my partners eyes, how a glimpse of it can excite him still. I love how my children get so much comfort from it, its warmth, softness and fdamiliar smells. I love how it feels when I am in control of it and not dependent on external substances to feel good. I love my scars, stretch marks, burns as they all have a story to tell. I need to pay more attention to my body, inhabit it a bit better, listen to it a bit more attentively, respect its functionality and mind it four when I am older.

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