Rebecca Meredith: Men discuss my 'rape potential' *trigger warning*

(33 Posts)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2290789/Men-talk-openly-rape-potential--vile-clever-women-like-Cambridge-undergraduate-tells-shocking-abuse-male-students-elite-university.html

I posted on the original article about female debators being heckled and harassed at Glasgow University, pointing out that these kinds of incidents show that feminism is still very necessary, but I had no idea that there were men on forums chatting amongst themselves about how they would rape her.

She has written a very articulate article (and sensibly has had the Daily Mail disable ratings so the trolls won't be able to indulge themselves.)

PromQueenWithin Sun 10-Mar-13 21:40:13

*that

PromQueenWithin Sun 10-Mar-13 21:39:46

Me too Ani. It's like that ineedmasculinismbecause hash tag on Twitter. The most coherent reason that was mentioned (apart from the abusive ones) was then men didn't want to pay for dinner. Well great, I'll pay for it with my equal pay. Sorted!

Anifrangapani Sun 10-Mar-13 21:10:54

I rather open the door for myself than it be ok for women to be paid less and rape is a high price to pay for a seat.

FastidiaBlueberry Sun 10-Mar-13 21:03:46

Rubbish Pego, I don't want a war.

I just want the right to state my arguments in a debate without them being trashed before I've even made them on the basis that someone with a vagina cannot possibly have any decent arguments, or if she has, she should not be allowed to make them because women have no right to speak in public.

Along with all the other basic human rights that were stolen from women by men.

That's not wanting a war. That's wanting to end the war that has been waged on women by men for centuries.

Never understand the 'holding doors open' thing either.

Surely holding a door open for someone else (whatever their gender) is just a matter of basic politeness?

Trekkie Sun 10-Mar-13 20:55:01

Also strange that men only step aside and allow "ladies" to pass through doors first when it loses them nothing to do so.

Revise the location to the underground train rather than the office and it's something of a different story.

SplitHeadGirl Sun 10-Mar-13 18:36:55

LOL at the whole doors thing. A man today gave me the fingers while driving - HE was in the wrong yet beeped me and made a rude gesture???? So where exactly ARE all these chivalrous men we keep hearing about?? In fact, I helped a woman with her baby buggy recently onto a plane, and she said it has ALWAYS been women who have helped.

Anyway....that was off topic. grin

In a way I am sorry the mail didn't allow comments...I would have liked to have said a few things and would like to hear what people who might not normally see the point of feminism anymore had to say about it too.

Trekkie Sun 10-Mar-13 17:46:16

Yes WTF is it with doors? Had a bloke at work the other day banging on about holding doors open. Don't get it.

Also think that advising women to ignore threats of violence is peculiar and dangerous advice.

kim147 Sun 10-Mar-13 16:59:41

"At all times stay well away from the wrong men, don't debate with them or even talk to them, their opinions or beliefs are irrelevant. Also remember that there is more than one way to skin a cat, try using more charm, and yes even your obvious charms to win your argument, it is not always necessary indeed often foolish to take an opponent head on."

Ummm. She was taking part in a debate - so how do you avoid them in a debate?

I'd love to know how you think she should use her obvious charms to win an argument? Just smile nicely and come over all demure? Do a Diana and slightly tilt her head?

OneHandFlapping Sun 10-Mar-13 16:52:19

"indeed I was called a "Chivalrous Bastard" for holding a door open..."

Honestly some men do go on and on and ON about holding bloody doors open, and giving up seats on trains.

It's not what feminism is about. It never has been. And that teeny tiny little privilege NEVER made up for all the other shit we had (and still have) to do.

FloraFox Sun 10-Mar-13 16:47:51

Yes silly old me Prom! Now the scales have fallen from my eyes!

ubik Sun 10-Mar-13 16:45:55

I read the article about the GUU debate. Shocking.

What's really sad is the GUU is the 'establishment' student union, populated with future advocates/medics/ politicians - I was go snacked at this behaviour and yes, it goes to show that feminism has a long way to go.

nilbyname Sun 10-Mar-13 16:45:12

pego seriously? You are so out of touch I don't know whether to laugh at you or put my head in my hands and cry.

PromQueenWithin Sun 10-Mar-13 16:42:43

Come on Flora, it's obvious we brought this on ourselves. Thinking women had the right and ability to debate with men. Chuh. Should've stuck to being charming and diffident, and then we wouldn't be threatened with rape, would we.

FloraFox Sun 10-Mar-13 16:38:05

Pego are you suggesting it's I okay or somehow understandable for men to threaten to rape us if we are not charming enough? Not exactly chivalrous.

PromQueenWithin Sun 10-Mar-13 16:28:05

Not a war Pego, equal treatment, equal respect. Not patronising advice about using feminine wiles and avoiding bad men.

Pego Sun 10-Mar-13 16:23:21

Fastidiablueberry illustrates the problem, she just wants a war.

BelaLugosisShed Sun 10-Mar-13 14:53:54

If inciting terrorism or rioting online is a crime, is what those morons on the arrse hole chat forum ( naafi bar if you really want to see what kind of men think discussing and encouraging rape is funny) ) not a crime too?

Would the police do anything if she had reported the forum? I'd love to see them arrested, put in military prison then thrown out of the army.

It's quite funny that they're obviously scared of mumsnet on there though - they have quite a big thread on us.

PromQueenWithin Sun 10-Mar-13 14:38:08

hmm

FastidiaBlueberry Sun 10-Mar-13 14:05:12

"when I was growing up women were feminine and men were chivalrous".

Femininity was imposed on women and still is and domestic violence from all those "chivalrous" men was as prevalent as it is today.

"so resentment has built against feminists"

Yeah, people whose power base is being attacked tend to resent it.

"when I was your age a young lady like you, would have been able to charm the birds out of the trees"

In other words, it's her fault for not being charming enough. The reason many men were nice to women and allowed themselves to be "charmed" was because women didn't challenge them. When women challenge men, they show their true colours.

"so why has it turned to open warfare between you and young men"

Rebecca's not conducting a war against young men, they're conducting a war on her.

"First you need to remember that only men who respect you are worth concerning yourself with, then that by only associating with those men, remember that men like to talk big, but it is only talk and not to be taken too seriously. At all times stay well away from the wrong men, don't debate with them or even talk to them, their opinions or beliefs are irrelevant"

Right, so leave those men to dominate the public space and just STFU, right?

As for her using more charm - misogynists aren't interested in her charm, they don't believe she has a right to be in that environment because she is a woman.

MooncupGoddess Sun 10-Mar-13 13:25:35

Erm, Pego. WTF?

Pego Sun 10-Mar-13 13:21:02

Dear Rebecca, as a 70 year old man I have seen the whole sex revolution from the start. Over the years it has sadly become more and more serious, when I was growing up women were feminine and men were chivalrous but certain ladies did not like that relationship, indeed I was called a "Chivalrous Bastard" for holding a door open for a middle aged lady in the 1960's, so resentment has built against feminists. In truth both sexes are responsible for the rapid decline in standards. You are clearly a very beautiful young lady, with a very high level of intelligence, when I was your age a young lady like you, would have been able to charm the birds out of the trees, so why has it turned to open warfare between you and young men, and what is the way forward ? First you need to remember that only men who respect you are worth concerning yourself with, then that by only associating with those men, remember that men like to talk big, but it is only talk and not to be taken too seriously. At all times stay well away from the wrong men, don't debate with them or even talk to them, their opinions or beliefs are irrelevant. Also remember that there is more than one way to skin a cat, try using more charm, and yes even your obvious charms to win your argument, it is not always necessary indeed often foolish to take an opponent head on. I wish you every success in your future I'm certain that you will find many men that you can relate too and enjoy long and fruitful debating with.

FastidiaBlueberry Sun 10-Mar-13 10:59:25

Oh and let's bear in mind that these are university students - so supposed to be more educated and enlightened than the average man.

hmm

FastidiaBlueberry Sun 10-Mar-13 10:58:38

We're always being told that young people are growing up without sexism, that feminist concerns are unnecessary, that generation of woman-haters are dying out anyway, blah blah.

Bullshit. Woman-hating is alive and well and producing its next generation of vicious misogynists.

Yes that article makes for grim reading..but judging by where some of those remarks have come from about her - I am not surprised.

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