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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

The post 50 Shades of Grey world ....

56 replies

AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 21:12

Valentine's day coming up.

We have tv ads for Ann Summers at 9pm.

We have LoveHoney ads pushing the "blindfold, whips and delicious pain" approach to "loving relationships"

Great.

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WidowWadman · 07/02/2013 21:23

So?

9 pm is the watershed. So can't really see the problem. Mind, haven't seen the add as I hardly ever watch anything on a channel with advertising.

As for LoveHoney, they're a specialist sex toy retailer, and have had whips and blindfolds in their product portfolio long before the shite book was published.

Some people enjoy whips and blindfold and have long before the shite book was published. As long as it's consenting adults, there's nothing wrong with people doing it.

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PretzelTime · 07/02/2013 21:28

blindfold, whips and delicious pain
I haven't seen the ads. I assume it's not about men being on the receiving end of that, it almost never is.

Hmmm
I wonder if this is partly popular to market to women because women aren't allowed delicious pleasure. Even chocolate is sinful (as described in ads etc)

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AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 21:32

This is the first year I have seen ads for sex aids and bondage stuff linked to the "romance" of Valentine's day.

Significant? I think so.

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PretzelTime · 07/02/2013 21:32

By the way, Valentine's day generally mean a lot of lingerie ads. VA is about love, isn't it? Why are female lingerie = love?

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PretzelTime · 07/02/2013 21:33

And now, as OP notes, S&M/bondage/pain = love

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AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 21:36

It's the only logical conclusion to find, isn't it ?

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HairyHandedTrucker · 07/02/2013 23:35

I like the story of valentine's day..still not sure what any of it has to do with women dressing up as sex toys or being whipped though Hmm

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AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 23:36

Indeed

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SirBoobAlot · 07/02/2013 23:39

Loads more tacky shit in cards shops as well. The gushy cards make me vom but whatever. The "spank my arse in a heart shape" style that's going on this year makes me want to throw things.

Fucking 50 shades of shit...

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AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 23:40

Indeed

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MechanicalTheatre · 07/02/2013 23:59

Hmm. Well, 50 Shades of Grey has shite all to do with BDSM. It's just an abusive relationship and it would never have been successful if the roles had been reversed. And that worries me, it really worries me that people are going into this kind of thing with their eyes totally closed just because it's fashionable or whatever.

And I am disappointed that Love Honey are selling 50 Shades stuff, because there are already 5 billion sex toys out there and really no reason for having a stupid branded butt plug or whatever.

On the other hand, Love Honey already sold all that kind of stuff anyway. And so did Ann Summers. So...I don't really know. I'm so sick of women being made into sex objects. Sooooo sick of it. I'm sick of making complaints to companies who use pictures of half naked women to sell stuff and I'm sick of men saying crap like "but men just aren't aesthetically pleasing like women are" (because yes a man actually said that to me the other week and it gave me the rage).

Sex is great. Sex is fun. Sex does not mean you have to wear a frilly neglige while your man sits there in a manky old t-shirt.

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Darkesteyes · 08/02/2013 00:15

Agreed. You would not believe the amount of magazine articles ive seen in the last six months that hold up Fifty Shades as some sort of sex bible.
Easy Living magazine has a "Passion" section and they keep referring to 50 Shades as if its the go to sex manual for everyone.
It is about an abusive relationship and the last time i checked stalking someone and not taking no for an answer is harassment.

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AnyFucker · 08/02/2013 07:26

Indeed. This is my point. How did the fucked-up bloke and abusive relationship in 50SOG become the ultimate in "romance" and something to aspire to ?

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SirBoobAlot · 08/02/2013 08:40

I have no idea. Quite happily admit I read erotica books, and a lot of them are wonderfully well written, sexy, humorous and well structured. Some of them display accurate BDSM. So why on earth this shit managed to become so popular is beyond me.

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NeedlesCuties · 08/02/2013 09:50

I agree.

Also for it to be sold to younger people as being the height of 'cool' sex just makes me feel ill.

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PretzelTime · 08/02/2013 10:39

I continue to be astonished by the massive amount of effort that has gone into marketing those books to women. And out of all misogynist books, why choose the most badly written one they could find?

To appeal to a young audience, readers of Twilight fanfics?

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FrothyDragon · 08/02/2013 11:18

Seen in a baby shop window this morning. A changing mat which read "9 months ago, my mummy read 50 shades of grey"

I nearly boaked.

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AnyFucker · 08/02/2013 12:56

Ffs

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Numberlock · 08/02/2013 15:37

I had to google that, frothy. Came across a babygro that says My mummy pretends Christian Grey is my daddy.

Give me strength.

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Darkesteyes · 08/02/2013 15:52

Ive just started following @50shadesisabuse on Twitter. They tweeted about a babygro that had "im a 50 shades baby" on it. FFS
Sir boob i read a lot of the Black Lace books in the 90s. A lot of them were very well written. They revived the print last year because of the success of 50 Shades.
BL were seen as feminist erotica. But i think that image became rather tarnished last year when they ran a writing competition. Through where?? You mag and the Daily Mail??? One of the most mysogynistic papers in the country.
Black Lace were better when they wernt mainstream or trying to be IMO.

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SirBoobAlot · 08/02/2013 16:29

The 50 shades baby stuff just makes me want to vomit.

So many people have told me I'm dull / prudish for not liking them. I have no objection to sex, or to BDSM, but I do have a problem with glorified abuse being seem as a relationship to aim for.

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MechanicalTheatre · 08/02/2013 17:06

Yes SirBoob I have also been called a prude by my flatmate because I refused her offer to read 50 Shades.

I go to BDSM clubs FFS.

The baby stuff is just...it actually horrifies me. What the fuck is wrong with people? Are their kids just little fashion accessories to show off how edgy and wicked cool they are?

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SirBoobAlot · 08/02/2013 17:10

LOL same here MT Grin A group of us went to a fetish party recently for a giggle, and there was loads of stuff taking the piss out of 50SOG.

The baby stuff makes me itch. Yes. Well done. You had sex and it made a baby. Congratulations. I don't want to know if there were handcuffs involved, thanks. Though if the 'daddy' likes to pull out tampons, there are bigger issues afoot.

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PretzelTime · 08/02/2013 18:16

I don't understand the "prude" thing. Maybe you should show her a underage m-preg Harry Potter tentacle rape romance (or whatever crappy things you can find) fanfic written by a dyslectic 11-year old, and when she fails to appreciate the litterary genius you call her a prude.
...wait, a 50shades fan would love such a thing wouldn't they. Because it's naughty!!11111

The most naughty and taboo thing of all seems still to be female pleasure (that doesn't involve being dominated or spanked or banged) There isn't even any proper words for female wanking as discussed on another thread.

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HairyHandedTrucker · 08/02/2013 18:21

Also for it to be sold to younger people as being the height of 'cool' sex just makes me feel ill

NeedlesCuties in fairness, and I do think this is a good thing.. I don't think it is being sold to young people as the height of cool sex (or at least it isn't seen that way by young people)... I think 50 shades is seen as middle aged mummy porn to most people. Sort of a last ditch attempt to save your sex life before you start doing pole "fitness". Or at least that has been my experience of the readers.

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