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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

If people think it's OK for a 9 year old to have her bits waxed

19 replies

PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 21:24

... is feminism a lost cause?

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rhondajean · 19/12/2012 21:25

Bits as in bits? Who is doing that?

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3b1g · 19/12/2012 21:26

Is this not a thread about a thread? Are we allowed to do that?

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PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 21:39

over here rhonda.

Yes, 3b, it's a fred about a fred...but MNHQ will only know if you tell them Grin

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rhondajean · 19/12/2012 21:47

Good lord.

Right to me, there are two separate issues. I'm probably not a very good feminist because I dont regard hair as a completly feminist issue. So I take my own dd to get her underarms waxed.

However I don't believe 9 year olds have enough pubic hair to need a bikini wax to stop it being visible while they swim even. Which leads me to thinking that this is a feminist issue - and related to the inability to cope with the adult female body.

For me feminism is about the choices we have?

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3b1g · 19/12/2012 21:50

I'm not going to be reporting it, I asked because I'm still new enough to get confused about MN etiquette. I definitely won't be accusing you of being a troll though, so I do know a little! Grin

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PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 22:03

I want to know why the fashion is for swim suits that don't provide enough cover that pubes are being seen on little girls? Why do boys wear shorts and not girls? I live in a very hot climate and I go in to a rage when I see people putting their little baby girls in itty bitty tiny bikinis that provide virtually no sun protection and then see their boys walking about in borad shorts and surf tops...


girls are just their for decoration it seems.

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PiccadillyCervix · 19/12/2012 22:04

Grin 3b

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rhondajean · 19/12/2012 22:24

Good point.

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3b1g · 19/12/2012 22:32

At my school there were a few girls (mostly of Indian or Middle Eastern descent) whose pubic hair came a little way down their thighs and definitely was not covered by the modestly cut school swimsuit.

I think that there is a wide range of normal body hair patterns. If you are the only girl in your class who has pubic hair that grows from below the crease at the top of the inner thigh, then I can see that you might feel self-conscious and unusual.

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KRITIQ · 21/12/2012 00:50

What I find depressing is that an appearance which is in the totally natural and normal range of appearance has been decided to be so socially unacceptable that someone who looks like that feels self-conscious and unusual. It's usually more than that - they feel obliged to change their bodies from what is "normal" to something that is deemed by society to be a "better form of normal."

It's something that happens to girls but not boys. It's a painful experience that girls worry about but boys are free from. Getting rid of that undesirable body hair takes alot of time and money that boys don't have to give up to be socially acceptable.

I confess, when I first came to Europe in the early 80's, I found it odd that some women didn't shave legs or underarms, as that was pretty compulsory in America. I got used to it being not a big deal. Eventually it percolated through that the reason women in America at least were expected to shave was to conform to some ideal of feminine appearance - a function of sexism in our society. Women's legs and underarms might be on display and woe betide one who dared to show these in their natural state.

What I find even more unsavoury about the more recent compulsion to remove all or nearly all pubic hair as well is that this area isn't generally on public display. Girls and women aren't waxing and shaving just because they think they'll stand out as "odd" in public. It's because they feel they have to alter a part of their body that no one else sees (unless they have a partner) and no one else would know about. The message has become even more clear that even those parts of the female body not on display are ugly and undesirable and have to be changed.

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PiccadillyCervix · 21/12/2012 00:57

kritiq I returned to the US after years in Europe and was surprised how fixated on vaginsa we are on this country Hmm

There are so many lotions and potions etc available. There is one commercial that makes me fucking furious where the woman, says "who knew that your period, or sex could upset your PH balance?" And then they go on to sell you some shit to fix it.

Well no. Periods are normal/ sex is normal and if vaginas weren't designed to do it, we would have died out a long time ago.

Why isn't there a whole aisle devoted to telling men how to deal with cock cheese.

I do think if boys swimming costumes showed as much as girls on the pubes front young boys would be more concerned. I think the problem is we expect girls to wear bikinis and bathing suits and not shorts. WHy can't girls wear shorts?

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PiccadillyCervix · 21/12/2012 00:58

POsted too early.

Women's swimsuits were designed to be sexy. So let women decide to be sexy. But to say because adult women wear something that young girls need to wear it just pisses me off.

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KRITIQ · 21/12/2012 14:18

The whole "feminine freshness" thing thankfully never gained the traction it did in the US. Even back in the 70's I remember commercials for douches - a completely useless if not dangerous product. It shows that if you create fear about something, anything, you can make good money selling people stuff to make them stop feeling scared. Most of the time though, these fears are related to normal functions of the human female body. :(

Have you seen these adverts from an even earlier era? Yes, it seems Lysol was used as a douche. Lysol was the disinfectant my mother used to clean floors. Shock (Note the casual misogyny running through the text, bless.)

www.mum.org/lovequiz.jpg
static.onemansblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Lysol-Femenine-Disinfectant.jpeg
cache.gizmodo.com/assets/images/39/2009/10/0_3231f_444ffc5d_XL.jpg

Or, of course you could squirt Listerine up your fanny as an alternative.

This one isn't even very old. :(

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rosabud · 21/12/2012 17:02

The worst worst thing about those threads is the way that 1) people are slighlty unsure whether to be outraged or not (( YEAR OLDS ARE SHAVING OFF THEIR FIRST PUBES FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!) and 2) everyone then posts and tries to justify it under the guise of being jolly reasonable and looking at it from all sides (you know, they find the most rare set of circumstances and then say, so in thses circumstances it would be OK) and 3) eventually someone comes on and says, well it's their CHOICE so it's all OK!

I find it too depressing for words. I can't bear the fact that people are so hoodwinked and deluded by the completely unacceptable.

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3b1g · 21/12/2012 17:07

I think the OP was a bit confusing in her original post. Some people were responding to the idea of pubescent girls feeling under pressure to remove all pubic hair as soon as it first grows. Others were commenting on the situation that some girls find themselves in where their pubic hair grows from their upper thighs too so is very visible even when wearing a modestly-cut school swimming costume.

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GrimmaTheNome · 21/12/2012 17:14

WHy can't girls wear shorts?

They can. Maybe not for competitive swimming - but for that the boys will be wearing speedos not trunks, and at the higher levels they may shave to reduce drag so that's fine - if its being done for functional reasons by both sexes. But for other purposes - my DD does watersports, she wears boardies or shorts over her swimsuit. She doesn't do swimming at school any more (and doesn't have much by way of pubes yet) but if she did I'd run the idea of 'boy leg' cossie by her as an alternative.

I was Confused by the prevalence of douches when I lived in the US - I was having some UTIs so tried one. It didn't help in the slightest. Very weird.

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PiccadillyCervix · 21/12/2012 18:51

Ooh that could make a UTI worse I would have thought Grimma, not sure how they have become so popular here. Boggles the mind. We know they aren't safe..

Kritiqe those are awful! The funny thing about the "modern" one was the presumption that firstly you needed to make sure your vagina was ready for an interview....and then they say but don't let the interview get to personal! Grin.

You've brought fanny wipes. It is personal.

Quite depressing about the idea that women's health issues might be "crowding" the hospitals. So they should make themselves ill with ridiculous vaginal douching and then eel guilty for wasting hospital resources.

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Latara · 22/12/2012 20:03

omg douches, i didn't know what they even are but i do now; fast way to get a UTI i reckon.

As well as completely unnecessary.

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