Sexism and sex education

[louloutheshamed]

Been chatting to my 16 yr old niece about a sex Ed session she had recently (at mixed v high achieving catholic school) and am do disappointed with the message. She said the session was called "saying no to sexual pressure" and that it consisted of a load of possible comments that people (read boys) might say to their partner (ie girlfriend) to pressure them into sex. She said in some cases the genders were made explicit but in other cases it was implied, but always this way round. Then, they were given possible replies to the "pressurizing comments".

Aibu to be disappointed in this message? First if all it seems to suggest that there is an expectation or assumption that boys will pressure girls for sex. I'm sure many boys take from this that this is normal and almost what they should be doing, that they are "gay" if they aren't.

But rather than telling the boys not to apply this pressure, instead we assume it is a given and then suggest that girls have to come up with some witty response/ reason/ justification. Shouldn't we be teaching girls that, to adopt a fave mn phrase, "no" is a full sentence??

I would be really interested in mn feminists views on this topic!

[ecclesvet]

I don't think we should be teaching kids to say "no"; the lesson should be that they have to say yes.

[ashesgirl]

Was it a girls' only session?

We had this at school too. The boys were hived off somewhere else for an hour.

[badguider]

In a girls-only session I think this can be a useful lesson but yes, it does give the impression boys are 'supposed' to want to apply pressure. It would have to be carefully complemented with a session for boys on why its immature and nasty to behave that way.

[louloutheshamed]

No it was a part of a mixed session, not separate

[tethersend]

This really bugs me.

Heaven forbid the girls will want to have sex- it perpetuates the idea that sex is something girls have done to them and which they should resist at all costs.

[ashesgirl]

Well really the message should be 'Don't pressurise or coerce someone into sex'.

And 'don't feel pressurised to have sex you don't want.'

Explained to both sexes.

[HalloweenNameChange]

That's awful, again giving the message that women are meant to be responsible for men's behavior, not that men should be responsible for their own behavior. And also that women shouldn't be as interested in sex. Surely if you teach young boys that women don't want sex, you are also teaching them that the only way to get sex is through some kind of coercion?

[WidowWadman]

I think boys need the message that they shouldn't feel pressurized into doing things they don't want just as much as girls.

It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, if it's always treated as if it's boys who want it who coerce girls who don't want it - just tells boys really that they have to want to if they want to normal.

[sashh]

The clue is in 'Catholic School'.

The sex ed will be in the context of RC teaching on sex ed.