Why am I struggling to cut dd's hair short?

(144 Posts)
BlameItOnTheBogey Fri 23-Nov-12 14:21:04

DD is 2 (nearly 3). She is rough and tumble and gives her older brother a run for his money in any physical activity. She's not at all interested in dresses/ skirts and wants to be in jeans and trainers all the time. All good.

But she HATES having her chin length hair brushed. It's semi curly and knots a lot. It hurts when I brush it for her and makes her cry. She has repeatedly asked me to cut it short like her older brothers (cropped very short). I have no idea why I am reluctant to do this; I don't want to hurt her. I guess I have never seen a two year old girl with cropped hair and I worry about what people will think. I know this is ridiculous and that I my refusal to do so is down to gender stereotyping.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Would you consider cutting your young dd's hair very short?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sun 10-Mar-13 02:25:25

Well done BlameIt and DD.

AtiaoftheJulii Sun 10-Mar-13 02:20:25

Good for you, BlameIt and dd smile

My ten year old has had a pixie cut for a couple of years now. She doesn't wear pink or dresses, so she has been mistaken for a boy many times (lots of "young man"s for some reason!), but she doesn't care. Sometimes she corrects them, sometimes she just laughs.

weegiemum Sat 09-Mar-13 12:21:44

When I was small my hair didn't grow much. People thought I was a boy (early 70s) and it was hard on my mum. I was 5/6 before it got long enough for bunches etc.

I've got 2 girls. Dd2 has hers pixie-ish (needs cut actually) and dd1 has the most amazing long hair - and is probably the most outspoken feminist I've ever met (she's 13) and my degree is in Geog and Gender Studies!!!

Hair doesn't define you unless you let it!

Macdog Sat 09-Mar-13 12:20:32

My dd had her hair cut short when she was 3 because it was tricky to manage.
She swam a lot and it was basically turning into candy floss!
First hairdresser we went to cut it into a short bob and refused to cut it shorter.
Second hairdresser was a mum, and made a cracking job of the pixie crop
Dd adored her "Tinkerbelle" hair until it was time to go to school, then people mistook her for a boy! Even in a school dress ffs!!

Now she has shoulder length hair, but is older and more able to cope with tangling etc.

Chubfuddler Sat 09-Mar-13 12:14:29

My daughter is getting on for two and her hair is still very short and stating to curl around the ears and at the back. It's so darned cute as it is (a bit like the toddler in the high chair with the French sort of hairstyle someone linked to up thread) I'm thinking of keeping it short so many toddler girls have really long but straggly wispy hair and it looks awful BUT I have hair hang ups due to having a mother who hated me having long hair. I don't want to do the same thing to her. I think I'm going to keep it short while she's pre school age and once she's old enough to start to care for it herself she gets to decide.

Our hair is a massive part of our identity. That's probably because society has decided that to be the case but its still difficult to buck the trend.

Trills Sat 09-Mar-13 11:32:15

Well done! smile

UptoapointLordCopper Sat 09-Mar-13 11:26:35

Well done to you and your DD!

BlameItOnTheBogey Sat 09-Mar-13 10:54:29

I just thought I'd come back to this some months on and say that after the failed attempt to cut it short detailed above, we had another go a few weeks later with a different hairdresser. She cut it really short. DD loves it. Does sometimes get taken for a boy and doesn't care less. She is super proud of her short short hair. And best of all, we have stopped having tears in the morning as it no longer hurts when I brush it.

I don't like it as much but realize I am projecting my views of what is 'pretty' on to her and this is exactly what I have vowed not to do. The main thing is she is happy.

I'd cut it if that's what she wants. It's her hair not yours! (OK she's only 2 grin). You don't have to cut it that short, and anyway it will grow back.

Guess my view is coloured by my mother, who was the opposite of you and wouldn't let me grow my hair till I was 8 or 9, and people were forever thinking I was a boy. When I finally got to grow it I let it go down to my waist and didn't get it cut for years.

BegoniaBampot Wed 28-Nov-12 12:03:42

I always had very short hair up to my teens really. I wanted it long but mum always cut it. I did often look like a boy especially as i was a bit of a tomboy and sporty. I think it did affect the way i saw myself and my confidence with boys. But if your daughter realy wants it short then there's probably no r eason not to. She can always grow it again. Cropped is quite a severelook on a little child, never mind a girl though.

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 27-Nov-12 22:47:40

No she'd be fine getting it cut I don't think a number 2 all over would look right though...although I am quite tempted and she'd probably pull it off.

HalloweenNameChange Tue 27-Nov-12 22:45:04

I meant high maintenance in that it needs frequent cutting, which my dd definitely wouldn't not deal with. But like I said it really doesn't matter if people think a baby is a boy or a girl.. For me it is more about the practical, and as a curly haired person.. I don't find it practical to have short hair and dd and ds when they ever get proper hair I will keep it long... (people will probably decide ds is a dd then but hey ho)

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 27-Nov-12 22:38:13

She's goes to the hairdressers quite frequently to get it plaited but I don't pay for that, thats when her dad thinks to take her. I really don't need an extra expense every 6 weeks and I don't think the £5 barbers will cut it. When she's older and can really choose if she wants to relax it or perm it straight to have a short cut then I won't stop her but now I don't want her hair damaged by that.

If she had straight hair I would really really consider a pixie cut they do look super cute, I also love love love www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjIxNzc5MDAzOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDUxMjMxMw%40%40._V1._SY314_CR9,0,214,314_.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000932/&h=314&w=214&sz=13&tbnid=Oea6kydJcljXZM:&tbnh=186&tbnw=126&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dhalle%2Bberry%2Bpictures%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=halle+berry+pictures&usg=__A3ZPP6w7gymIn5aGqFTtDBpMTMc=&docid=hnn5tmhn2PfOXM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=tEC1UOadOOna0QWYpYGQDA&ved=0CC0Q9QEwAA&dur=628 but again would have to be straightened.

TheSmallClanger Tue 27-Nov-12 22:33:35

Mine is cut once a month, but it only takes about 20 minutes. Of a morning, I spend between 0 and 3 minutes styling it. Not high-maintenance at all. Sometimes I wake up with it looking all right. grin

One of my aunties told me that mine would never grow back properly if I started having it clippered. If only that were true.

It's only hair.

HalloweenNameChange Tue 27-Nov-12 22:30:10

short hair require lots of upkeep too, whilch is timely expensive and not practical on a baby as well..especially one who doesn't even like her hair brushed. Will she sit and have hair cut ever few weeks?

HalloweenNameChange Tue 27-Nov-12 22:26:23

My nearly 2 year old daughter is practically bald except for a tiny little rat tail mullet she has grown hmm.. People sometimes think she is a boy.. I really don't care and tbh.. it's not always a bad thing.

HalloweenNameChange Tue 27-Nov-12 22:24:32

not read 6 pages, but I wouldn't cut curly hair short on a girl or a boy. it's much easier to plait or put in a pony tail

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 27-Nov-12 22:00:36

Oh and her hair only gets washed once a fortnight and does not smell grin

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 27-Nov-12 21:56:05

pics on profile a bit old I mean*

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 27-Nov-12 21:55:39

www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150996579548860&set=t.1502260909&type=3&theater

is what she and her hair look like now, pics a bit old. I don't see the point having a shaped afro as it would still have to be combed which she'd still hate. The way I do it now is annoying but not painful just time consuming. I quite like the halle berry short hair but her hair is to frizzy for that. confused not sure what to do...

trockodile Tue 27-Nov-12 21:52:14

I love seeing the photos of Brad and Angelina's daughter Shiloh-not mad fans of theirs particularly, but they really seem to let her express herself and have her hair/ clothes etc the way that she wants.

InNeed I just noseyed into your pics and your daughter is GORGEOUS and will be GORGEOUS whatever she does or doesn't do with her hair. Not that looking gorgeous is what matters most about anyone, but still, she's adorable! smile

TheSmallClanger Tue 27-Nov-12 21:51:51

Oh and Brandy, I see lots of black women with very short hair, and they look great. Forgive me if the terminology here is wrong, but a sort of "shaped" Afro a few inches long, looks lovely.

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 27-Nov-12 21:49:58

*cut right right off because I'm not about to start putting chemicals on her head or straightening.

TheSmallClanger Tue 27-Nov-12 21:49:08

It's all about listening to her wishes and taking them seriously.

I was never allowed short hair until I was a teenager. I spent my early 20s with a Grace Jones flat-top, despite being a white person with very straight hair. Despite this, and having numerous older men find excuses to "mistake" me for a man*, I had boyfriends and met my DH. It did not turn me into some sort of sexless boychild.

*I know they were doing it on purpose. Half the time, it was in situations where they shouldn't even have needed to talk to me. I am also not much over five foot, with hands and feet like a 9yo's, unmistakable hips and a really high-pitched voice.

**The fact that I needed to add that says all we need to know, really.

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