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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Do you think it would be better if there wern't a feminism subject on mumsnet?

95 replies

HalloweenNameChange · 18/11/2012 19:49

Just that while it is sometimes nice to preach to the choir (and comfy)..but the people who could really do with a bit of learning actually block the feminist section as a whole.

I have been annoyed when subjects get moved from chat to feminism for that reason.

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HalloweenNameChange · 18/11/2012 19:50

Oh and before someone deliberately misinterprets what I have said.. I love the feminism section and have learned loads. Just realize many are missing it.

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BertieBotts · 18/11/2012 19:55

No, I think it's a good thing. It shows that feminism is accepted and I think that feminism awareness or whatever does filter out into other threads too. Just do a search for "partner housework" in a year before the feminist section existed, and then for a more recent year - there's a definite shift in how the threads tend to go and advice that posters get - and I don't mean leave the bastard Grin (although that comes up too!) but there is much less commiserating, agreeing, patting on the back/men don't see dirt, my husband is the same etc etc. There are far more posters now willing to stand up and say, well, my husband pulls his weight, don't expect anything less! and offer strategies for talking/discussing the issue like adults rather than suggestions to "train" him or withold sex if he doesn't clean Hmm

So, I don't think that people do miss out. But I like the fact there's a safe space (well, to an extent) that subjects can be discussed which are perhaps a bit heavier, which some people might want to ignore. That's their choice. But the feminism section has changed things for the better on mumsnet, IMO.

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LastMangoInParis · 18/11/2012 19:57

I've thought it's strange that a forum that's populated mainly by women has a separate FWR section - as if FWR are somehow optional or separate to women's lives generally. And I think it's a shame that seemingly quite a lot of MNers avoid the FWR boards or have said they think FWR is not for them.
But no, I think it's great that FWR section is here. Love it. Find it fascinating and have learnt a lot from it. So wouldn't want to be without it. But yes, often I wish that discussions which are over here were on AIBU or somewhere where more posters would get involved. And wish that some of the very brilliant psts on FWR boards were in AIBU so more people would them.

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HalloweenNameChange · 18/11/2012 19:58

That's a good point Bertie, Maybe the fem section trains you up so you can go out in to the "real world" chat and aibu and deal with things better. I do like that if I ask a question here it won;t usually be mocked or shot down in flames straight away but I do worry about the people who gleefully admit they block the feminism section.

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SamuraiCindy · 18/11/2012 20:01

Do people really block it?? Why?? This section is so eye-opening, once you read and learn and take a new look at issues concerning women that are NEVER mentioned elsewhere to any great degree. I would even go so far as say life-changing...at least it has been for me.

I think just going from my own experiences (I was curious about mumsnet after having children and this section caught my eye) I am SO GLAD this section is here. if it hadn't been here, I would be a different person I think. I would see things differently.

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AbigailAdams · 18/11/2012 20:02

Well I thought it was odd when I first joined that a forum mainly populated by women didn't have a women's rights section. Grin Although I get your point completely LastTango! There should be no need for it.

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ILoveSparklers · 18/11/2012 20:06

Umfortunately, not everyone wants to talk about feminism, I see your point but I don't see where else it would go?

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ILoveSparklers · 18/11/2012 20:11

Some people have enough of their plate and don't fancy considering something they see as political. Or they come here for entertainment rather than debate and enlightenment. Where else would you post feminist stuff?

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LaCiccolina · 18/11/2012 20:13

Odd. Isn't feminism really within most conversations or events? Bit like politics. Most conversations revolve in a fashion around politics and recently I'm either getting older or more political as I'm noticing more stuff relating to feminism!!! It should crop up within most boards shouldn't it? Even with a separate area for deeper discussion....

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LastMangoInParis · 18/11/2012 20:24

Isn't feminism really within most conversations or events?
This is what I think, Cicc (as do most regular FWR posters, I should imagine). Also SWYM, Sparklers about people feeling they have 'enough on their plates'. But feminism's so interesting in that respect, isn't it? I wonder how many women have felt they don't want their everyday lives 'politicised' until a point comes when the ostrich path of least resistance ceases to be an option.... WRT which, was also thinking about how feminist perspectives outside FWR boards on MN seem to be most visible on Relationships threads where OPs are posting about how things have reached breaking point for them.

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TeiTetua · 18/11/2012 20:29

"nice to preach to the choir" - implying that everyone here agrees on anything? That'll be the day.

In fact, that'll be the day we know we live under dictatorship.

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StewieGriffinsMom · 18/11/2012 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

msrisotto · 18/11/2012 20:51

Feminist conversation still goes on off the FWR boards, IMO it's just a good place for theoretical conversation as well. And it has often been a place of refuge for rape survivors, before the trolls roamed free.

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Trills · 18/11/2012 20:51

No.

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AnyFucker · 18/11/2012 20:57

I don't change what I say on this section, than I would on any other

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ConsiderCasey · 18/11/2012 21:21

I love it. When I'm in the outside world (ie. the rest of Mumsnet) I feel a bit nervous about saying anything too feministy for fear of being seen a bit nutty (although I do it anyway) whereas here, I know that I'm in the company of like-minded people and that I can be myself.

Sometimes I don't even mind the outsider trolls who come in here to tell us we are all harridans and need to be grateful to men for going to war, etc, because they are usually, um, not very eloquent and get put in their place good and proper.

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ashesgirl · 18/11/2012 21:28

I do know what you mean, halloween, and have wondered if this section is a bit 'ghettoised', for want of a better word.

At the same time, I'm very glad it's here.

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FrancesFarmer · 18/11/2012 22:14

This is probably the most thought-provoking section of mumsnet and one of my favourites. Long may it prosper.

Unfortunately, the general populace's ignorance of feminism is such that discussion informed by feminist thought is often rubbished on more main-stream forums, even those used mostly by women. On the other hand, I'm sure many women have stumbled upon this section and learned from it and that can only be a good thing.

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AnyFucker · 18/11/2012 22:17

yes, FF, very true

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ashesgirl · 18/11/2012 22:28

Whoever said that this area spreads out to the rest of the MN is right.

It was great to see a very lively debate on sexism in the Asda advert in the main chat area.

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rubyrubyruby · 18/11/2012 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 18/11/2012 22:32

it spills out into Relationships topic very regularly, also

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ashesgirl · 18/11/2012 22:33

True, AF, it does a massive service to women in awful relationships on that board.

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LastMangoInParis · 18/11/2012 22:50

Was thinking about your great posts on Relationships board when posting above, AF.
But sometimes it seems that unless posters have reached the very desperate situations that are often posted about on Relationships, there's antipathy towards obviously feminist arguments outside the FWR section - or, as FrancesFarmer has said, a sort of knee-jerk rubbishing of feminist ideas. (Or perhaps I'm giving too much weight to the very view but somehow very vociferous posters who say they avoid FWR boards when every now and again a thread starts elsewhere about FWR.) It seems sad that feminism (or Feminism) can still be seen as some osrt of 'alternative' political thought, or some sort of luxury banter, when it's so relevant to everything, and when such 'extreme' (violent, life threatening) examples of women's experience sometimes seem to be what it takes for people to start thinking along overtly feminist lines.

I agree that FWR threads are sometimes quite theoretical - and maybe it's 'different' from other MN boards in this respect in some ways. And I guess that's one of the great things about the FWR section. I still 'miss' posts by posters like KRITIQ on other MN boards, though.

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AnyFucker · 18/11/2012 22:57

sometimes on a thread where it is quite clear a relationship is abusive, adding a feminist perspective is literally like lighting a touchpaper

and I don't mean the reaction of the OP necessarily, although that can happen

I am thinking more of the handmaiden army marching in, to defend the indefensible, and attempt to shout down posters who say "you don't have to tolerate being treated like a second class citizen"

it is very demoralizing, and makes one want to withdraw to areas where you know other people understand what you are trying to say

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