what is it all about

[sparky246]

ive got up feeling really horrible-despondant is the right word.
i came here on a fight and stayed.
i stayed because i realised that what id been trying to fight all my life was the patriarchy.
im assuming everyone on here is trying to fight the patriarchy or we would all be on the gardening threads talking about begonias!
the fighting and arguing is getting me down.
sometimes it feels like"i know more than you"-or "fuck off im not listening but you listen to me"
i know this is only the internet and anyone can answer anyone or not but
sometimes ive written posts asking someone a question and ive been ignored
this is fine-but on the other hand im thinking.........
yes this is only the internet but for every post-theres a person behind it-
and sometimes it feels like a reflextion of rl.
im often ignored in rl-hence me fighting.
in rl i often see"i know better than you"or "fuck off you listen to me"!
this in itself feels patriarchic!
we need to hear each other and listen to each other not fight or ignore each other-if we cant do this there cant be no feminism-it just becomes lip service.
we could learn so much from each other-no matter what path we tread!
if we dont/cant do this we will end up with a heirarchy of women that fight each other-this is not feminism-we should be equel.
as i said-this is only the internet but i feel it reflects rl!

[WeDONTneedanotherhero]

I know what you mean Sparky, please don't stop fighting though.

A single voice does make a difference, keep speaking up. People don't always acknowledge that they are listening but they are.

we could learn so much from each other-no matter what path we tread! exactly!!

I truely hope you feel more positive soon, "don't let the hand you hold, hold you down"

[sparky246]

thankyou WeDont-it gets tiring doesnt it.
thankyou prolesworth x

[msrisotto]

Hey sparks, don't forget about lurkers. When I feel like i'm fighting a losing battle, on the internet or real life, I think of the people who don't say anything but are open minded and go away and think about it and think in new ways. We've had a fair few people saying they've had this experience via this board and i'm slowly chipping away at my sister irl. MIL is a write off

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

I agree with you sparky - when the arguing gets personal and accusations are flung about, it's not terribly edifying and yes, can get quite depressing given that old adage: "United we stand, divided we fall..."

PH makes a good point about how personal feminist issues are and therefore how passionately people respond to them and how easy it is take it personally when they think someone disagreeing with their point of view is some kind of personal attack. And of course, sometimes those disagreements are formulated using words that constitute a personal attack. Common courtesy and respect for another person's right to have an alternative take on something are all-too-easy casualties at times.

msrisotto is dead right about the lurking. I've lurked on loads of threads which have degenerated into bunfights and although I may have deplored some of the tactics employed by the arguers, I often find a lot of illuminating points are made and it helps me decide how I feel about things.

Lastly sparky on a personal note, can I just say how much I enjoy your posts on this board? There's a real sincerity about what you say, it shines through. And although you come across as someone very able to stand up for herself, you always respond respectfully and thoughtfully to other posters, even when you have a different view. Please keep posting

[AyeRobot]

I heart you, sparky.

And yes to posting for the lurkers. I am one, mostly. I am not yet robust enough to withstand a hammering, nor do I have the time. So, I contriubute as I can and learn from evey thread.

[AyeRobot]

Just to add, fighting on a thread leads to a real lull in postings on the board in general. It always happens whether it is a troll-type fight or an in-fight.

[AyeRobot]

See? Dead as a dodo. I am sitting here trying to think of things to post and my mind is blank as a blankety blank cheque book. And pen. I will give it a whirl on som of the threads down there. Ooh, there is no down arrow on my keyboard. How strange. There's an up and side to sides. What's with the downism?

[AyeRobot]

(((sparky)))

What a shitter of a day.

Claim the dinners, pet. You need your nose to smell with and keep the lurgies out.

But please don't shut up.

[msrisotto]

((sparky))

Go and have a bath or something? It's been a tough day, be nice to yourself. I'm sorry :(

[AyeRobot]

I'm gonna give you an extra (((hug))).

[sparky246]

ayerobot-thankyou-ill take it-
thankyou x

[AyeRobot]

Hehehehe

And guess what? I needed that too. I am such a taker.

[sparky246]

ha ha ha ha-so am i-
my love and hugs are pure-at least i wouldnt let the patriachy take this from me,my love is tottally pure and not a lot would understand this.

[Primalscream]

Sparky - I've only read your 1st post but just wanted to say that lots of posts get ignored on here and lots of people get ignored in RL - ( even men! )

I don't think there's a conspiracy and I honestly wouldn't take it too personally ( obviously you do in RL ) but on the Internet no one knows you.

[MitchiestInge]

I have felt ignored on here too, sometimes (and elsewhere) but not always and am another who appreciates your posts - I wanted to say 'enjoy' but often that doesn't fit the subject.

As far as the arguing is concerned I don't see why contributors to these boards should be held to a higher standard than other parts of mumsnet - the disagreements are interesting and healthy, and although it is sad when it gets personal and insults are traded I think that's just normal human interaction when feelings run high.

[sparky246]

its not about me knowing you or you knowing me-or anyone knowing anyone
i dont give a fuck whether anyone knows me or not-
its about hearing and listening!
oh there is a conspirisy-its called patriachy!