Domestic abuse of a different kind

[sparky159]

theres something that ive never seen talked about anywhere-domestic abuse by a [adult]child!

these days-children are leaving home later[or not at all]
and children[adult]are going back home to live after being away for a few years[loss of jobs or cant afford the housing].

i feel that domestic abuse by a [adult]child is a taboo subject and i feel it happens more than people are probably aware of.

having said this-how can people be aware of it if its never talked about-
we have things that make people aware of abuse in realashionships[eg-abuse by partner]
and help-
but there doesnt appear to be anything for people who are abused by their child[adult].

i feel that people are less likely to talk about these things as it might be very very difficult to admit youre own child is abusing you.
also-it must be very very difficult to kick youre own child out of the family home-especially if this means youre own child will end up on the streets.

then theres other things like-
even these days-some people dont realise their realashionship is abusive-
maybe this is the same for people who are being abused by their child?

and-people who are abused by their partner sometimes see it as their fault[and sometimes society does aswell]
same for people who are being abused by their child i feel.

iim not saying that theres lots of people who live at home are abusing their parents/mother-
but i am wondeering if our climate of job losses/home losses/ect ect is making this problem worse?

when i talk about domestic abuse by [adult]child-im on about from-bullying-to actual violence.

[sunny2010]

I dont see how this is abusive. Once my kids are old enough and move out they are welcome to move back in if they ever struggle or if they cant afford to leave they can stay with us. Same as with my parents or in laws if either of them ever get ill and too old they are welcome to come and live with them and we care for them.

I dont see it as abuse thats what famailies are for ime.

[HerBeatitude]

Sunny you have completely missed the OP's point.

She's not proposing that by itself, living with your parents when you are an adult is abusive.

She's talking about adult children who actually abuse their parents.

Yes it does happen and it is a much bigger taboo than DV between partners. There is help available, but it's even less than help for adults being abused by their partners. A good place to start would be Women's Aid, they do work with mothers who are abused by their children, but they'd also be able to refer on to agencies (if they exist in the neighbourhood, which is highly unlikely) who specialise in DV by adult children.

[sethstarkaddersmum]

Nick Cotton's treatment of Dot Cotton in Eastenders would be a good example!
(Sorry if this sounds flippant, but I get what you are saying OP and I am sure you are absolutely right.)

[sparky159]

HerBeatitude-
oh i didnt realise that womens aid did this kind of work also-actually-i bet a lot of people dont realise this.

StewieGriffinsMum
interesting-yep i think that abuse by children is hardly reconised.

Sethstarkaddersmum
i didnt see this[i dont watch eastenders] but im thinking"well-when things are shown on the telly-theres things written elsewhere about things"-and yet-i have never seen stuff anywhere about abuse by children.
i wonder why not?

[Snorbs]

OP, I think you're absolutely right. Abuse of parents by adult children is a subject that is very rarely brought to light.

It's not something that I have directly experienced myself. But it is a subject that comes up in Al-Anon, where a parent has taken in an adult child with addiction problems. Some of the stories I've heard are dreadful. It must be so hard to fight against both societal pressure and ones own parental habits to just kick out ones own child.

[sparky159]

Snorbs-good point
i never thought of this-god-yes this must be awful.