Hardly Earth shattering but making me very down.

(9 Posts)
mylittlemonkey Fri 15-Nov-13 00:06:10

I agree, it will be because they have forgotten and remember that it takes time to build a good relationship and everyone is always so busy esp when you have young children. I have often gone to someones house and really meant to invite them back and then life just gets busy and it has nothing to do with them at all. Why not just invite them again or even better get their number and then you can text when you feel like arranging something. What have you got to lose? after a few meeting hopefully you can try and establish something a bit more regular.

peachypips Thu 14-Nov-13 21:25:16

I think you have to be quite pushy to get in a group of friends. People don't realise that you really want to come unless you keep asking. There are a few quiet mums in the playground at school, and I tend to assume they are happy not to chat to people. Maybe they think this about you?

I am going to always make sure I take notice and am more mindful of quieter people after this!

DrSeuss Thu 14-Nov-13 17:56:53

Maybe, but at what point do you start appearing needy/pushy? I can see myself saying, "Oh, York is lovely, we should go sometime soon.". I don't really see myself saying, "Next time you go to York please can I come too?".
It would just be nice to have a trip or a lunch or something to look forward to.

peachypips Thu 14-Nov-13 17:46:22

However, I tend to think all people are nice so may be a little naive!

peachypips Thu 14-Nov-13 17:45:44

I think they would have just forgotten!

If it was me I would say 'next time you go out would you let me know? I'd love to get to know people better- would be nice to have something to talk about other than Peppa Pig!'.

If I don't invite someone to something it's never because I don't like them- its always because I have forgotten.

kinkyfuckery Thu 14-Nov-13 17:39:31

But maybe they think the same about you.... "If she wants to, she'll ask!"

DrSeuss Thu 14-Nov-13 14:33:16

I don't know, I kind of assume that if I don't rate an invite, even after inviting them to my own home, there's not much point in trying. If they wanted me there, they'd ask. What really upset me today was a friend who said we would go Christmas shopping together has put on FB a post about the fun she is having Christmas shopping with another mutual friend. I wasn't even offered the chance to go. If they wanted me there, surely they would ask? On the one hand I feel like I'm often so lonely I'd try anything, on the other I hate feeling like I'm back at school. My best friend moved a while back due to her husband's job and I now see her just a few times a year.

kinkyfuckery Thu 14-Nov-13 14:10:53

Just keep trying! It's so hard, isn't it?

You still have plenty of time. Soon your 2 year old will be off to nursery, then school and clubs and you'll have many more opportunities. Don't just leave it after one attempt. Keep trying! Invite yourself along with others. If they are offended or affronted by it, then they're not someone you'd want to be friends with anyway.

DrSeuss Thu 14-Nov-13 11:25:23

I work two days a week and am a SAHM the other three days. A while ago, I felt increasingly as if a social life was passing me by. Everyone else was going for days out with friends, to the theatre, on shopping trips or even just to each others' houses for coffee. I realiised that to receive invitations you normally need to give some out so I invited one mum with similar age kids for lunch and three, one of whom I know well and the others a little, for coffee. Both afternoons seemed to go well. I felt it to be likely that I would get some invitations in return.
A few months later and nothing. I get FB updates from their statuses, saying how they had a lovely time at one another's houses or out shopping. Still not a single invite for me.
I suppose I could give it another go but is there any point? I don't really have anyone else to ask and I feel so disheartened. Plus, I have no wish to appear desperate! I joined a night class but there is no one my age there. I have no family left to spend time with. I need a little more company for ten or more hours a day than a two year old and Peppa Pig.

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