Children and Hotel WWYD

(68 Posts)
TimothyClaypoleLover Sat 29-Jun-13 14:45:24

Family weekend coming up with 2 nights stay in a hotel. We have 2 children aged 3 and 1. Majority of the family of the view that it would be perfectly reasonable to leave DC in the hotel room on their own at night whilst we are downstairs eating/drinking. Other family members with children of similar age plan to do this.

I am not happy with this and feel that it is not the same as them being at home in their bedrooms whilst we are downstairs. The hotel is a public place and I would not be able to hear them cry should they wake. Not to mention if they got out of bed and managed to get out the room or injure themselves in the room.

I am being made to feel like a neurotic mother and on my saying that I would just stay in the room with them being told I am not getting in the party spirit. There has been the suggestion of checking on them every half hour or so but that doesn't sit right with me.

Can anyone advise or has anyone had similar experience. I don't feel I am being unreasonable in my concerns but everyone else in the family does.

zingally Mon 02-Sep-13 13:54:17

My parents would stay with my sister and I until we fell asleep, then sneak out and downstairs to the bar!

I'd only do it myself with a long-range baby monitor.

We went to a wedding when I was pg with DC1 and at 2am there were a row of baby monitors lined up on the table in the bar grin

but it was a "leading family friendly hotel" and there was no one staying in the hotel who wasn't at the wedding.

OP - can you contact the hotel and find out about babysitting? Some hotels have policies about not allowing DC to be left without a babysitter, but will help with finding well qualified babysitters (at an extortionate price)

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 27-Jul-13 22:03:53

right..
not going to be popular but
we have in the past stayed in a hotel where we left the kids asleep in their room.
we had to dial the phone to receptions baby listening service and they had it on speaker in the reception which was constantly manned.
every 15 minutes they came through and told us all was quiet.
later in the evening after we had had our desert they said they could hear one of the children rustling around and so I said my goodnights and went up. They were both asleep.

However. This was a small very expensive hotel. We didn't go downstairs until the kids were totally asleep. It worked for us. fwiw I would be less likely to do it now they are older as they can get up to MUCH more mischief

mameulah Sat 27-Jul-13 21:56:49

We were in the same situation. No way would I leave my pfb ds alone in a hotel room.

Every party needs a pooper. It might as well be you!

HollyMadison Fri 05-Jul-13 20:33:00

I wouldn't do it. If there was a fire you may not be able to get back up to the room. I would do what I thought best and ignore comments from family.

Poosnu Fri 05-Jul-13 20:27:10

I wouldn't do this. On the occasions when we have been away on family holidays like this, we take turns to sit with the children (either in the room or outside with a baby monitor). Not just me and DH - other family members pitched in too.

We now try and book self catering cottages so the DC can be left in bed while we all eat together, but hear them on the baby monitor.

You have to do what you feel comfortable with. If you are roped into leaving them in circumstances you are not completely happy with, you won't enjoy the evening one bit.

Onesleeptillwembley Fri 05-Jul-13 20:21:21

Wow! Just because your family are negligent, don't let them make you feel bad!

wibblyjelly Fri 05-Jul-13 20:18:07

I'm in a similar situation but with camping in a tent grin . I've been told ds will be OK in our tent, while we sit round the campfire. I'm not happy with this, as although we can see one side of the tent, we won't see the other, and it will be dark! I've already told ds I'm not happy with leaving him, and if needs be, I'll sit by our tent by myself.

PearlyWhites Mon 01-Jul-13 19:44:52

No definitely not am shocked at your family tbh

notcitrus Sat 29-Jun-13 22:59:24

3yo no way. And I have had 1yos in cots and been downstairs with a baby monitor - but only in a tiny hotel with dn in room next door, and only 2 other rooms beyond them, with us and ILs right at the bottom of the stairs. We chose the hotel for that reason.

If they're old enough to possibly escape a cot, then I want someone right next to them. (sighs in anticipation of conference soon where MrNC and I will be alternating hours of quiet reading in a room with the dc...)

Earthworms Sat 29-Jun-13 19:35:27

I have seen parents have a quick dinner with a baby monitor on rthe table when I worked in a v tiny hotel, so I suppose the parents felt it was no different to having diner downstairs at home.

At the time I thought nothing of it.

Now I have kids I wouldn't do it ( and I think I am a laid back to the point of being slack parent)

As previous posters said - what if there was a fire?

Loving the idea af lazing in the room with sleeping children and having food brought up to me whilst DH braves the family party downstairs.

I think that would be the best option, if other parents won't pitch in and share the babysitting.

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom Sat 29-Jun-13 19:34:30

No, I wouldn't. I have used a listening service at a small hotel, but would never, ever leave a child where no one would hear if he/she was exploring the hot taps in the bathroom, crying because they had lost teddy/fell out of bed and bumped their head.

Parietal Sat 29-Jun-13 19:29:49

If you have an iPhone there is a baby monitor app that will call another phone (say dh's) if there is any sound in the room. I've used that is small hotels, plus regular checks.

inneedofrain Sat 29-Jun-13 19:21:51

Ok, I have caught up now.

I´m not in the UK and the norm here for family gatherings is that they are family gatherings!

Kids come from babies in arms to teenagers. When the kids get tired (the babies and youngters not the teenagers) they are all put down either in one room or in an area and everyone takes it in turns to watch them. BUT this might not work for you and your family.

I would go with spend the day with family. Then when the kids need to go to sleep go up the room and put them down. Order room service and relax with your DC asleep. If you can upgrade to a small suit (larger room with a couch and a tv area) all the better!

inneedofrain Sat 29-Jun-13 19:13:50

Not read the whole thread

Are your relatives totally insane! I am the least precious mother ever and there is NO WAY ON EARTH I would be leaving a 1year old and a 3year old alone in a hotel.

either find a babysitter or don´t go.

You are spot on right op you are not nuerotic!

CPtart Sat 29-Jun-13 19:04:25

No. Trust your instinct.
They won't be this little forever and in a couple of years it won't be an issue and they can stay up with you for longer.
You as their parents are responsible for them, not other family members.

ghosteditor Sat 29-Jun-13 19:01:39

No chance! The 3 yo could wake and have an accident with furniture or go looking for you or accidentally hurt the baby. Worse, if the fire alarm went off and you were elsewhere, the staff would not let you go back to your room.

teacher123 Sat 29-Jun-13 18:57:47

When DS was 4mo we went to a wedding and I took my parents to help with DS. We had the end of a corridor with just our two rooms in it, and my parents had room service with the door open whilst DS slept next door. I went back at 10pm to find my mum sitting in the dark in DS's room reading on the iPad. She felt that she couldn't leave him on his own even though they were next door and could see the door to his bedroom. Do whatever feels right to you and ignore everyone else.

This happened on a large family holiday of ours. My DSis left her two 4 and 1 to rampage the restaurant as they were overtired, everyone got pissed and were far too noisy for my 1 yr old to go to sleep in her buggy.

We had dinner early after the first night. And vowed NEVER to holiday with family again

AmbrosiaCreamedMice Sat 29-Jun-13 18:54:14

Crazy. A 3yo could probably reach the door handle as well. And the bath taps. Or the window.

OP, just stay at home will you, my nerves can't handle it. grin

Abra1d Sat 29-Jun-13 18:53:36

I've done this, with a baby monitor, in small, family-run hotels. My children were fairly good at night, though, even if they weren't asleep immediately they wouldn't run riot. We used to run up and downstairs to check on them as well, every 15 minutes.

Love your son's comment, Hesterton!

hesterton Sat 29-Jun-13 18:48:04

I did this with 2 way listeningservice 27 years ago. Wouldn't do it in todays climate.

The receptionist on the first night said DC1 aged 3 had been a little unsettled and she'd spoken to him on the intercom and he'd settled down.

The next night as I put him to bed, he looked at me slightly warily and said, "Mummy, will the wall be talking to me again tonight?"

Snazzywaitingforsummer Sat 29-Jun-13 18:46:43

No. It's pretty clear why it's not a good idea. This is the pain of extended family holidays - there are usually people driving what everyone else does and if you don't like their ideas you have to be very assertive and resist a lot of pressure. But you are right to resist. Tell them if they don't call you a neurotic parent, you won't call them neglectful ones - deal?

Primrose123 Sat 29-Jun-13 18:45:27

No, I wouldn't leave them either.

Beamur Sat 29-Jun-13 18:41:00

I wouldn't.
I'd go with the option of keeping the 3 yr old up later than usual, get the baby to nap in a buggy and eat early.

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