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does bride pay towards hen party?

13 replies

oneandnotlonelyk · 02/08/2014 14:41

Hi all,

I'm organising a hen party and it will include an activity, tickets to a show etc. All of these tickets will be bought up front, so total cost for the day/night will be circa £80.

As I haven't organised one of these before, I'm not sure whether to ask the bride for £80 (same as other guests) or absorb it so the rest all pay more?

OP posts:

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Hobby2014 · 02/08/2014 14:45

I'd split her ticket with everyone else.
If she has arranged it and wants expensive things etc then I'd expect her to pay her way but if it's been arranged and organised for her then I wouldn't expect her to pay.

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amyhamster · 02/08/2014 14:46

I think traditionally the hens pay for the bride but it does get pricey
A friend of mine went to a hen weekend - 2 nights b&b, meal Friday night, Saturday was lunch out, activity in afternoon, afternoon tea , then another meal plus club
Sunday was breakfast out & lunch I think
Hen didn't pay for any of it the hens paid £200 plus :(

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amyhamster · 02/08/2014 14:47

Oh & then they all chipped in for presents, sashes, hats, badges etc

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amothersplaceisinthewrong · 02/08/2014 14:48

I thought the bride paid for the whole thing.....

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StrangeGlue · 02/08/2014 14:53

You'll have to ask her. I've been to ones where they don't pay and I've been to ones where they do. When I got married I paid for pretty much everything and had purposefully cheap event as many friends weren't well off.

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ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 02/08/2014 14:57

Does she know about the show and activity?

I think my hens bought me dinner but I paid my share of the accommodation - maybe that kind of thing would work?

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cookielove · 02/08/2014 15:02

For my hen weekend we went to Centre Parc's for a long weekend and spa day, I paid for my share completely and would never of expected any one to pay for me!

I went to one a couple months later and it was out of control expensive, almost £400 for two nights in a shit hotel, we were meant to have a pamper night but instead we went clubbing of course we had to pay for all the brides extra's and the petrol to get there! Oh and the organisers didn't like me and kept slagging me off! Not sure if the bride paid for her share or not though, I suppose I could ask!

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RevealTheHiddenBeach · 04/08/2014 16:04

I've just got back from mine :) i told my bridesmaids I was worried about cost for hens, so they did it that the whole thing (activities, accomodation, dinner and club entrance etc) was around £60, the only extra cost was travel and alcohol. The bridesmaids said anyone who wants to put in an extra £5 to cover mine, and if not affordable don't worry, and I would make the difference (didn't need to in the end)

They said they got some good responses and that people liked that it was their choice. I got some bottles of wine in when we went out, as I wanted to contribute and thank people for coming!

I think the general rule is be up front about costs, and ask what people want to do. the £400 one sounds huuugely expensive!!

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aylesburyduck · 04/08/2014 20:37

My sister and cousin are organising mine and I have set the budget at Â£150 for the weekend. I'm not expecting my hens to pay for me - it's quite enough for them to pay for themselves.

Having said that, every hen do I've been on we've chipped in for the bride, and although that may happen on mine, I wouldn't assume that my hens will do the same.

Circumstances change over time, and the main thing is that it is good fun and affordable for everyone.

I fully expect to give my credit card a good bashing though

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aylesburyduck · 04/08/2014 20:40

I should add that I've said absolutely not a penny over Â£150, and preferably significantly less.

They are creative girls, they'll manage something fab. And if they get me a gorillagram they are dead meat!

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kaykayblue · 02/09/2014 15:47

I think it partly depends on the expectations of the bride as well to be honest.

A friend recently had a nightmare trying to organise a hen party for a hideously bride who was VERY demanding about what she wanted (A full weekend, not just one night, away from her local area, but not too far), and who she wanted there (forty - I kid you not FORTY people).

If it's a weekend at the brides request, then I would be expecting her to chip in. If it's a day and an evening, then probably not, depending on what the activities are.

I had one friend who spent a week in Ibiza for a hen party (again: brides insistence). Cost her a cool grand. I told her she was insane for going along with it.

This is why I am not having a hen party!

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Thumbwitch · 02/09/2014 15:51

It's polite to ask the others if they are willing to absorb the bride's share, I think.

If she's specifically requested something massively expensive, then maybe she should pay her own way - but if she has friends who are well able to afford to cover her costs, then it's nice if they do.

I have been to both types - whenever it's involved a weekend away (or even a week!) then the general costs have been borne by the bride herself (for her share only, I mean), but there has usually been a meal out at some point where everyone clubs together and pays for her share.

What I can't abide is the assumption that everyone can a) afford it and b) is willing to contribute to cover the bride's costs. Quite often this isn't the case - so I would be sending out an email to see who is willing to chip in for the bride, and then divvy up the costs accordingly.