Help , I suffer bad anxiety

[Thatsjustme]

I'm really worrying about my wedding now , I lack self confidence and get very shy when people look at me / all attention is on me :( we are having a big church wedding and I really will feel like looking at the floor as I walk in :( then there is the first dance , I can't dance to save my life , and people are going to be watching like all eyes on me ! I'm so worried I will go into a full blown panic attack and ruin the day :(

[Blithereens]

Re: the dancing, when DH's very shy BFF got married we made a deal that he would dance with his wife for ten seconds and then we and the other wedding party couples would join them. Would something like that help?

[Nocomet]

Then don't have a first dance. It's my idea of hell. Arrange that your best man, bridesmaids and some of your DFs and younger relatives know just to go straight up when the music starts.

Stopping the bride feeling embaressed is what bestmen and bridesmaids are for. Find the sympathetic one and make sure they are primed to organise everyone else.

[Thatsjustme]

That sounds like a good idea blithereens. Problem is Nocomet DP really wants a first dance :(

[Nocomet]

Then I think you may have to compromise on doing the first verse alone, but not a really long one.

My DH can't dance, which doesn't bother me, but him and I only force him to dance when the floor is busy.

We didn't have a dance, it was both our parents idea of hell, we were broke students and quite a lot if our guests were non dancing geeks like DH. Some people had a long way to travel and others enjoyed the excellent local scenery, restaurants and pubs that evening.

We got married in a tourist area, no shortage of things to do.

[CurlsRUs]

This is exactly why I had a non-traditional wedding - because I knew the stress of things like 'the first dance' would probably bring on an anxiety attack! I was worried enough about how I'd cope with people watching me walk down the aisle (well, registry office) and saying my vows.

As it turned out, though, I was so happy at every point of my wedding day that I 'forgot' to be anxious at all. I'm sure you'll be the same.

If it's filling you with such dread, though, it would be worth talking to your DP about it - I'm sure he wouldn't want to cause you such stress before the big day!

[specialsubject]

marriage is all about compromise -so get started now and start talking. None of the elements are compulsory except the vows.

the whole point of the big 'do' is that all eyes will be on you. If this isn't your idea of fun, change plans.

enjoy your day. If it won't be fun, change it!

[JennyZ1]

You can do it. I know that I did not think that I wanted everyone looking at me but once I got in the dress, I realized it was my day and all eyes should be on me.