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Wording help please

3 replies

PoirotsMoustache · 19/03/2014 11:16

DP and I are getting married in June. We're having a tiny wedding (12 in total, including us), so the majority of extended family are not invited. To be honest, it's more a marriage ceremony followed by a meal and a few drinks at the pub afterwards.

We would like to send those who aren't invited a flute glass with their name on, with a little poem asking them to have a drink in our names on the day. A lovely mumsnetter gave me the perfect poem for that.

However, I need to put a note with the glass and poem explaining that they're welcome to come and have a drink, we'd love to see them, there is a travel inn at the pub, but we don't expect them to be there due to the distance and the fact it's not a 'proper' wedding.

I was thinking of saying something like: 'DP and I are getting married on (date). Due to various circumstances, we are not having a wedding as such, but will be having drinks at such-and-such pub from 2pm. We would love to see you there, and there is accommodation attached to the pub if you decide to join us. However, we do understand if you are unable to make it, it is a long way to travel for just a drink, and this is why we would like to give you this glass, so you can join us in spirit if not in the flesh.'

Could I please have your thoughts and opinions on this? I've no idea on etiquette, and I suspect certain family members are going to be upset that we're not having a big 'do', whatever I send them!

TIA

OP posts:

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ChessieFL · 20/03/2014 20:37

I think that's fine. I would probably say 'we are not having a wedding reception as such' as by just saying you're not having a wedding it makes it sound like you're not actually having a ceremony!

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Mrswellyboot · 20/03/2014 20:40

I think that sounds lovely. If I was writing it I would say that's their presence would mean a lot to you but you don't expect gifts.

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PoirotsMoustache · 23/03/2014 18:17

Thank you both. I have noted the point about wedding vs wedding reception!

I posted this on another board as well, and someone else mentioned about presents. I'm now worried that they will think I'm just after gifts, which is absolutely not the case - we don't want anything at all, just to have a drink with anyone who can make it. Which is why I haven't mentioned gifts at all. Should I? Just to make it clear that they're not wanted or required, or would mentioning them make it look like the complete opposite?!