I know nothing. Where do I start?

(41 Posts)
YoniBottsBumgina Mon 06-May-13 21:32:03

DP and I are planning to get married next year. However despite being engaged since just before Christmas, we haven't really done any planning yet. A bit of fantasy planning and that's it! ^shock] he found some nice rings the other day which he showed me, and I fell in love with too, and i's sparked me off into an urge to start planning properly. The only flaw in this plan is that ky planning skills are utterly shit. I probably couldn't organise a puss up in a brewery blush

(ffs, apologies for terrible typing, I despise this phone)

The other complicated thing is that DP- who is brilliant at planning and organising stuff, lives in Germany which is where myself and DS will also be living in a few months . So I'm thinking there are probably some things which will be easier plan before we move over (we want to get married in the UK) like the venue.

I don't know the first thing about weddings. I have a vague idea of what we want but I don't know what happens at a wedding, I've been to just one ever and I think that was just the reception. So I'm worried I might fond somewhere good but miss some really important detail. I also have no car, no money for deposits and limited childcare. How do you go about looking for somewhere? And what else needs sorting out when? I've never even organised a party or coffee morning ffs!

Can anyone help with an idiot's guide to what needs organising when? Preferably in words of one syllable and/or explaining what everything actually is.

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 07-May-13 08:03:57

I don't know how many of those we'd also invite to the ceremony, so that part could potentially be smaller. If we have a sit down meal we were thinking immediate family only too. And we may be able to borrow money and/or push it back a year to save up. Plus 160 is if we invite everyone we want to invite comfortably, so could cut back.

I've gone really mad with planning a fantasy wedding in a big field now grin thinking that might be a lot cheaper, although would have to look up how much everything would cost altogether.

Weddings in fields need loos. Don't forget the loos! And parking.

MrsBranestawm Tue 07-May-13 08:29:09

Why not do the ceremony quietly at your local registry office, then have a camping party later? That way you can make the party your own, without having to factor in registrars and licences.

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 07-May-13 09:13:26

Do you need registrars and licences for a reception? That's basically what I want to do but on the same day.

MrsBranestawm Tue 07-May-13 10:22:42

Well, then, fix up the marriage bit early on in the day and do your own thing for the reception later on. The reception is just a party. It can be whatever you want.

Fuckwittery Tue 07-May-13 15:37:23

agree, camping party with a bring a dish and booze might work. that sort of wedding seems to divide AIBU threads, but if you make it clear what it is, people can choose to come or not, id rather my friends were happily married and chip into a party than see them bankrupt themselves.
for 4000 you could have a marquee and hog roast maybe
have you got a friend who DJs?
definitely agree to do not mention the wedding word to any suppliers if you can help it! it seems to automatically double the price.

Fuckwittery Tue 07-May-13 15:38:16

and bouncy castle and loads of games for the kids. fingers crossed for good weather!

Fuckwittery Tue 07-May-13 15:39:27
Fuckwittery Tue 07-May-13 15:41:30

with regards to posting notice, the coventry website says you can post a notice up to 12 months in advance, and must both be living in england fir 7 days before your marriage. so youd need to be a week before from the looks of things but could do the paperwork up to a year in advance. suggest you ring local register office to confirm
www.coventry.gov.uk/info/317/marriage-arrangement_and_ceremonies/516/marriages/2

watchingout Tue 07-May-13 15:57:11

Bouncy castle is great for kids! and adults too we got a popcorn machine "thrown in" for half price along with the castle hire. Also fireworks make a perfect ending to the day as it gives guests the polite message of "shows over, leave us to our own celebrations" wink

Exciting planning times grin - make sure you include things that are important to YOU and don't get pushed around by the organisers. We looked at one venue where the co-ordinator told us that "everyone gets engaged at New Year and chooses their venue in January" and made us feel really out of touch to have dared to get engaged in April and think of getting married the same year.... Needless to say, she didn't get the booking

starfishmummy Tue 07-May-13 16:27:17

Coventry register office is in a nice old building with some good spots for photos. There is a choice of rooms which hold different numbers of people. so you need to have an idea of numbers before you book. Don't know all of warwickshire but Rugby office is more modern and business like but there are nearby places for nice photos. You need to give notice at the relevant offices - we married in coventry, Dh "gave notice" (the legal bit) there and I had to go to rugby.

starfishmummy Tue 07-May-13 16:31:39

Fuckwittery - it is. We get married in the Black prince room and I have just been to a small wedding in the statutory wedding room. - the small one is fairly plain and standing only (apart from the witnesses!) but was lovely and friendly.

starfishmummy Tue 07-May-13 16:32:06

* we got married!!

YoniBottsBumgina Wed 08-May-13 00:21:31

Direct.gov says if you live abroad to register at the district office where you want to get married. It shouldn't be a problem for us to do that anyway as we'll be visiting family at some point presumably.

TeamEdward Wed 08-May-13 11:33:16

Maybe you could approach local farm, orchard or nice campsite to ask about hiring a field.
Don't forget things like parking & access, toilets, and contingency plans for terrible weather (a barn, mats for muddy paths etc)

YoniBottsBumgina Thu 09-May-13 20:28:14

I've got DP in on the planning now and we're having a great time grin It's all starting to take shape! smile

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