Ethical engagement rings?

[ConfusedPixie]

Is there such thing as an ethical engagement ring that isn't going to cost the world? Or is there an alternative to diamonds?

I was chatting about it with DP and a house mate last night (DP is planning to do a presentation on the differing ethics between diamond mining and tanzanite mining) and I just wondered if there was a way of getting ethical engagement rings that didn't cost the earth!

[colditz]

Get one that isn't a diamond? This is a massively first world problem, it's the best one I've heard for ages.

[stargirl1701]

My diamond came from Snap Lake Mine in Canada. As seen on 'Ice Road Truckers'. DH more interested with the trucker connection than ethics, mind you!

[MrsBucketxx]

I would be looking at the antique market, recycling an old ring woukd make the most sense.

[Arisbottle]

Don't get one . Probably the most ethical and affordable option.

[AndMiffyWentToSleep]

Yeah you can get them - generally bespoke but not necessarily more than off the shelf ones.
These people do them:
www.credjewellery.com/

[yousankmybattleship]

Oh my lord, now I've heard it all! As a quick guess I would suggest you could probably get another gemstone or not get a ring at all.

[ConfusedPixie]

I suppose it is a first world problem! I have thought about it before, but never very deeply and it just occurred to me during the conversation, so I googled it and found that 'ethical' diamonds cost a bomb.

I haven't really thought too much about actually getting engaged, DP and I aren't at that point just yet as we can't afford to get married for a good few years yet anyway! So I'm just curious really!

My housemate's thought was the recycling an old diamond as they didn't know back then how bad things were in the diamond trade.

Engagement rings are only a recent thing historically so tbh I don't know if I'd go down that route anyway, but it's interesting to find out about the alternatives. Nothing wrong with being curious even if it is a FWP! I can think of worse ones usually involving FB

[TheBrocoliIsStillRaw]

Sorry can't offer any advice confused but I think that's a lovely idea.

[herladyship]

ethical issues like this are a 'first world' problem

because WE have created them and now people less fortunate than us are suffering

No-one deserves to be ridiculed for trying to live ethically, surely?

(sorry no practical advice, except don't bother with a ring.. DH & I didn't & it hasn't hampered our 20 year relationship!)

[AuntFini]

Not really a first world problem is it? Op your question is totally fair and its only right to consider whether it's ethical to get diamonds

[yousankmybattleship]

How to source your diamond ring certainly is a first world problem! Nobody needs a diamond. If you have to have an engagement ring, then just choose something without a diamond. Simple.

[AKissIsNotAContract]

I got mine from ingle and rhode. Highly recommend them, really personal service.

//Www.ingleandrhode.com

[StellaNova]

My engagement ring has a small "conflict free" diamond. It's from Stephen Einhorn on Upper St in Islington. They showed me a handful of diamonds and let me choose although they all looked the same to me!

[AKissIsNotAContract]

And it's not just diamonds and other stones, it's the gold as well that should be ethically sourced. At ingle and rhode it all is.

[ceramicunicorn]

Don't know if it would be your cup of tea but my sister and her dh panned for gold in Wales then had it made into rings. Although that was wedding rings not engagement rings.

[Purplemonster]

Buy vintage/antique. My ring is a 1920/30s ring and cost a lot lot less than a new ring and is beautiful.

[ConfusedPixie]

Why is it diamonds? Is there a meaning behind it or was it just a popular thing that became 'tradition'? Which is what I meant by 'alternative' originally, if there was an alternative that was as traditional? (Apologies for not being clear on it) Or was it because diamond is harder wearing than other stones and therefore more practical?

ceramic: I actually love that idea, I have been debating doing that for a few years, well before I got with DP and we were still 'just friends'

AKiss: I vaguely remembered something about ethically sourced precious metals, it's another thing to think about really.

I think I might just tell DP we won't bother with engagement rings, it'll make things much easier and cheaper!

[sashh]

It is a first and third world problem. No one needs a diamond (other than industry, possibly) so the reason children are being exploited is because the first world wants cheap diamonds.

I'd go for recycling OP, you might not know if a child has mined the stone but you can be sure that child isn't being exploited now.

If you have some scrap gold then you could have that made into a ring, and it's not that expensive.

You could buy something from Australia, you wouldn't get to check it before you ordered online but Australian gold and gems are mined in proper conditions.

[alwayslateforwork]

Another vote for Canadian diamonds.

I have a second hand ring. It gets loads of compliments, and was dirt cheap. I just saw it in a store and loved it. It was exactly a tenth of the price of the other rings I was looking at, and 120 years old, so unique.

I have no end of woo types telling me that they can tell it was a family heirloom. May well have been. Just not mine.

[colditz]

I didn't say it wasn't a fair question. I said it was a first world problem.

I was implying that people in developing countries don't worry very much about the source of their diamonds, because they are too busy trying to source their dinner.

And that is true. But the ops question summed up the first world very nicely. As does my perpetual niggling worry that my dishwasher is about to go kaput.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Engagement rings aren't that recent a tradition, but diamonds are. They took off because De Beers started a campaign, simple as that.

If you look at antique rings, you'll find lots of pearl, garnet, sapphires (blue represents fidelity), Edwardian emeralds, etc. etc. So antique rings have a lot of choice.

My friend's mum has a wooden engagement ring - you can have whatever the heck you like.

Personally (and it is very personal so not judging), I think diamonds are fuck ugly.

[GirlOutNumbered]

I had mine made. I have a sapphire instead of a diamond, the stone came from Sri Lanka. He goes there to source them himself.

[Floggingmolly]

I never got a ring at all. We've been married for 15 years now, it doesn't matter.

[ConfusedPixie]

"Personally (and it is very personal so not judging), I think diamonds are fuck ugly" I prefer other stones and remember the sheer horror of my sisters when I suggested just getting a nice ring that had another stone in it.

I discovered wooden rings last night after a bit of browsing, I was quite surprised to find that DP quite likes them too so that may be the wedding rings sorted

I like the idea of having something to commemorate an engagement, and have said for a while that when I get engaged we'd both have a ring to signify it, but I am now wondering about forgoing the rings and having a nice trip where we get to make/organise something that we can have at home to commemorate it. This is assuming that one of us proposes of course!

I like the idea of the Sapphire and fidelity combination, I may have a nosy around and see what represents what in gems and colours