Black tie/white tie wedding

[nappyaddict]

Nice idea, fun for everyone to dress up as a one off as it's not often you get the chance, or an unneccessary expense for your guests?

Would you turn down a wedding invitation if it was black tie/white tie invitation?

[Chubfuddler]

I actually think it is quite rude to tell people what to wear to a wedding. If all the male guests are likely to own a dinner suit then maybe it is ok. If the majority will have to hire then definitely not.

[nappyaddict]

What about if the invitation just said "evening dress"?

[EdithWeston]

Black tie is OK.

I don't think enough people would have the right stuff for white tie.

[Sittinginthesun]

Went to one once that was suits etc in daytime, black tie in evening. Nice idea, but lot of trouble for guests.

Wouldn't black tie be evening anyway?

[nappyaddict]

Edith Do you think enough people would for black tie? I don't know many people that own their own tux ... I think the majority would have to hire.

[nappyaddict]

What about if the invitation said black tie/white tie optional? So if people want to go to the bother of hiring they can, but don't have to?

[008]

We had black tie. Our friends loved it. We said Black Tie or National Dress and we got loads of kilts and a few saris. All very colourful and it added to the sense of occasion.

[Ragwort]

Totally uncesscessary expense - personally I would hate it, and would turn down the invitation - but then I am always looking for excuses to avoid weddings as I really don't like them - fortunately I am now at the age I rarely get invited to any, unless they are third time around .

[008]

NO - optional just means that everyone will call you up the week before and ask what to wear!

[EdithWeston]

Well, how any would own and how many would hire depends on you family and friends (and availability of good second and shops!)

It is fun to dress up for an occasion, though. And black tie means a much greater range of options for women.

The full length for women and tails for men of white tie is far more onerous; and if you were considering that then black tie is a doodle by comparison.

[nappyaddict]

Ragwort Would you turn it down if it said black tie/white tie optional?

[EdithWeston]

You don't need to add "optional" - it makes you look indecisive and, traditionally, it as always been permissible to wear a dark suit instead (that doesn't apply to white tie).

[ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets]

I've just turned down a birthday I citation that is Strictly black tie
Don't tell me what to wear thank you. Far too expensive for your guests, so I'd say no.

[CountessOlenska]

We had a black tie evening wedding. Everyone seemed to enjoy the chance to dress up, even if they didn't own DJ. but then again, we are in Scotland, where is quite usual to hire/buy a kilt for weddings.

Think people enjoyed getting glammed up for a change

[nappyaddict]

Edith Well I like the idea of it but I'm not that bothered if some people want to wear something different. That's why I was going to add the optional.

[RetiredDJ]

White tie is the most formal of dress codes and means black tail coat/top hat/white tie. (as opposed to morning suits which are grey tail coats with tie).

It is far more formal than black tie (dinner jacket) so if you are going to go ahead with the suggestion on your invitations I would decide on one dress code, wither white tie or black tie otherwise it's too confusing.
The later your ceremony the more formal you can go, but tbh I would avoid white tie unless you are having a very grand affair that starts at 7pm.

Weddings can be expensive enough without the cost of hiring suits, so if you really would like the formality of black tie, I would put "black tie optional" or "gentlemen are invited to wear black tie" on the invitations so that your guests don't feel like they are being dictated to and could wear a dark lounge suite if they wish instead.

[Ragwort]

Nappy - yes, I probably would - I once went to a function where just one male guest was wearing a dark suit instead of black tie and he looked really awkward.

Genuine question - why do you want a dress code? Would it just be an evening wedding, black tie would look a bit odd in the daytime wouldn't it?

[nappyaddict]

I don't know ... would it? Never really thought about it looking odd in the daytime.

[nappyaddict]

008 and Countess Did your guests change for the evening part or did they where black tie to the day part as well?

[CountessOlenska]

My wedding was in the evening, so no changing necessary!

[nappyaddict]

Did you get married in a hotel? What time?

[startail]

I'd love it, but DHs work do's are black tie so we have it already.

My parents and sister would hate you. Older and/or larger women could find evening dress difficult.

Depends totally on your guests, but do consider the older members of your family.

Also any children, girls are pretty easy, but boys might be expensive.

[008]

Sorry, RL intruded for a while ...

Everyone just spent the day in their long frocks. We got married at 2pm, had drinkies etc til 4ish, though that actually dragged on til 5 ish, at til 8ish and then danced!

However, we had a spectacular beach setting and photos on the beach, (think long dresses, strappy sandals in hand) so although we were all formally dressed, it was v lighthearted and fun ...

[008]

btw, some people had more cocktail dresses, but basically everyone wore their prettiest frock and said that they had enjoyed getting dressed up for a real "Party".

You know your guests best ...