2 friends making me feel bad over feeding soilds.

[IcingOnTheCake]

I think i'm doing ok with the weaning, i am doing it slowly and being guided by my baby on how much to give. I have 2 friends who's babies are 2 weeks older than mine and here is what they do...

Friend A; Baby weaned at 4 months straight onto jar food containing meat, fish etc . Birth wieght 6lb 13oz, weight now 18ib 2oz. Is now nearly 7 months old, eats really lumpy food.

Friend B; Baby weaned at 5 months, eats home cooked food but eats very lumpy food and eats 8-9 cubes of pasta in one meal. Birth weight 6lb 3oz, weight now 17lb 10oz and very short baby.

My baby; Started having vegetables at 5 and a half months, went onto meat/fish at 6 months and food is still quite pureed. Birth weight 7lb 9oz, weight now 16lb 3oz.

Friend A & B are really singling me out and making my baby out like she is slow because i don't shove lumpy food and snacks down her throat. They make me feel so bad and like i am doing something really wrong. I aim to start lumpy food when dd is 7 months with is only a couple of weeks away. They are being nasty and i feel like i am being a bad mother. I am not starving my child.

[geekgrrl]

get some other friends
they sound like complete twunts, don't waste your time and energy on them

[GooseyLoosey]

They are idiots - ignore them. You sound like you are doing just fine! Some people are obsessed by the weights of babies for reasons which I never quite got - there is no ideal weight and what is right for your baby depends on so many things. If you believe your baby is thriving carry on. 6 months is way to young for lumps IMO anyway.

[IcingOnTheCake]

When did you start lumps?

[MrsBadger]

get some new friends

or privately offer your dd easy finger foods like steamed veg sticks and see how she does - some cope v well with them from 6mo and tis v impressive to watch them feed themselves - major show-off points .

[ScottishThistle]

Tell them where to stick their lumpy food!

All Babies/Mothers are different!

[geekgrrl]

I never really 'did' lumps, they just moved onto finger foods which are lumpy by default.

[IcingOnTheCake]

They show off at how advanced their babies are. Then i think maybe i am not normal and everyone does what they are doing!

[MrsBadger]

as I say... get new friends
It's not a competition.
Console yourself by the fact that if the only thing they can find to be proud of is how much their kids weigh, they can't have much else to be proud of, eh?

[ScottishThistle]

What some Mum's fail to realise is that by the time all Babies are 1yr old they are almost all at the same stage food wise, no matter whether they ate lumps from 4 or 8mths!

[GooseyLoosey]

Re lumps - didn't wean dd until 7 months (she clamped her jaw shut at sight of food). Am struggling to remember now but recall months of pureed vegetable ice cubes! I think I waited for about 8 weeks with each before introducing lumps. However, there is no right way of doing this, you do what feels right to you - ScottishThistle is right, they all end up in the same place anyway.

[nickytwotimes]

they are not being good friends! all my pals do it very differently, but our kids are all happy and well.
sod them!

[cathcart]

Icing, don't get hung up about all the weights and dates and weeks! It really doesn't matter and you should just keep doing what feels right for you. If these people are really 'friends' that you want to keep seeing then just steer the convo's away from these issues and just teel them you don't think its too important. If you feel that your baby is doing well then go with it.

[AitchTwoOh]

they sound like a real laugh... can't you just tell them to shut up? something along the lines of 'i'm glad we're all so happy with what we're doing about weaning, our babies are all healthy and happy so let's just be grateful for that'.

[IcingOnTheCake]

I get the vibe that they talk about me when i am not there. Kinda like the school playground.

[casbie]

honestly - in three months no-one will care if your/their child has food with lumps in!

everyone thought i was mad because my baby was not having any mushy stuff and only started on 'real' food when she could take it off my plate and put it in her mouth at 8 months. she now at 2 years can use a knife and fork and spoon, cup and eats (sometimes) as much as my other children (3 & 6).

as long as baby is eating varied diet at 1 years and not just drinking milk (formula or breast), then that's all what the HV's/midwives care about!

i know some mums are keen to keep babies dependant on milk only, because it's convienent and that's all wrong.

: )

[mynoduesp]

Avoid these negative people.

[IcingOnTheCake]

They are the only people who i know with babies though. I go to under 1s group and take dd swimming but don't seem to make any friends. I am very shy around new people and never know what to say. I am desperate to find some friends who have children around the same age as mine but i am not succeeding very well.

Yesterday i took dd swimming and after sad in the coffee shop, there was mums in there with their babies chatting away. I felt a bit jealous and lonely watching them.

[AitchTwoOh]

sometimes you just have to summon up the courage to say 'can i join you?' and it gets easier when the babies are of an age to start pulling each others' hair out, you're rather forced to chat then.

[IcingOnTheCake]

I wouldn't have the courage to do that. They would probably think, who's this weirdo thats come and asked to join us even though we don't know her from adam!

[AitchTwoOh]

that's exactly what they'd think, yes, because it would be a wee bit true. but who cares, you just want to make friends with them don't you? and you're a nice person who's worth being friends with? it's not like you want to take a poo on their lap.

so then you pick the one with the kindest face and ask her all about her baby so that next week she'll see you and call you over.

[tiktok]

aitch, you crack me up

poo on lap, I ask you.....I do agree, that would be extremely weird (though I gather some men actually pay for that sort of 'service'....)

Icing, you sound pretty normal to me. Even confident people quake a bit at the idea of going to a mother & baby club, not knowing anyone. The swimming group you go to is a good idea - having an activity rather than just sitting round is helpful, and if you stick with that you will find it comes good. You could go to baby story time at the library (if there is one) or some other activity groups, too.

Just be confident in what you are doing with your baby - the fact you remember the detailed weights and ages of these 'friends' babies makes me think you need a bit more of a boost with better friends!

[princessmel]

My dd is 2 in August and still doesn't eat 'lumps' for some foods. She'll eat pasta, grapes , cereal, bread, sausage, fruit, loads of things whole etc but if its a chicken, potato, veg dinner. Its mashed.

I couldn't give 2 hoots about what anyone thinks. As long as she enjoys it thats fine. She wont be eating it mashed in a few years time.

They sound very competitive. Its not a race.

[AitchTwoOh]

i remember saying to a particularly recalcitrant bunch of mums 'the reason i am hanging around like a bad smell is because i'm waiting for one of you to crack and invite me to come to coffee with you all.' some were but the ones i now like best just ptsl. i still see them, they're good girls. if anything, some of them were too shy to invite me i think.

[princessmel]

Try going up to them next time. I always do things like that.

In fact thats how I've made a lot of my good friends. Just ask if you can sit there. Say 'is this seat free?' or pull up a chair.

I made friends with a girl at ds school cos she looked like my sort of person and she is. She's great. Just pluck up the courage and you'll feel fab.

[princessmel]

Aitch. maybe I could start a discussion about my new bag???