3 HVs advised me to wean at 21 weeks - looking for support or otherwise

[Bethbe]

Have always planned to wean DS1 at 6 months (a week late actually to have a bf camping trip), but my DS1 has changed his feeding behaviour and now on three seperate occassions a HV has suggested that it could be time for something else.

LO has always been a hungry baby, - has been drinking between 11-13oz EBM for evening feed since I first began expressing when he was 4 weeks old. He has always loved his food and has always fed on the breast aggressively and focussed, not playing or using me as a dummy.

He is also very physically developed. I've never had to hold his head, and he has been able to stand supported since birth. He's not particularly fat, but he is a bit of a bruiser.

Over the past couple of weeks he has began to get very fussy on the breast. He's been wanting to feed all the time, but when I put him on he keeps pulling off (dragging my nipple) and crying and then does a quick scream and re-latches for a couple of sucks and then pulls off again.

The above is all that I have told the HVs, but in addition:

He is also a human canabal, munching on any part of my (or my DHs) body that he can get his mouth near.

I know he can swallow, because he munches and swallows both his regurgetated milk that comes back up, and flem from his recent colds.

He makes swipes at my food (but I think this is probably more out of interest than to feed).

I've been following many of the weaning threads to guide me and many suggest that there is no harm in waiting, but if it is true that he needs more than what I am giving and the battle and misery that it would take to wait, then surely it would be more harmful to wait.

One of my worries though, is that the reason for our frustrated and unhappy feeding is being overlooked if indeed weaning is not the answer.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

Thanks!

[lulumama]

if he is hungry, and wanting to feed more, and fill his tummy,nothing is more filling and calorie rich at this age, than a milk feed

if you are not comfortable with starting weaning, then don;t!

t might be he is having a wee growth spurt or simply a hungry week and all will settle again..

[percypig]

Hi, sorry you're feeling so worried about this.

I personally waited till 6 months, precisely for the reasons you gave in your OP - that we know it does no harm to wait tilll 6 months, and there is some evidence that early weaning is harmful. Having said that, DS was not overly demanding to bfeed, though he certainly had his moments. It sounds like part of your reason for thinking about weaning early is because of the understandable difficulties/frustrations of bfeeding him (well done by the way, for keepinf going)

The thing is, milk has way more calories than any solid foods you'd be giving him at this stage, so solids are unlikely to 'satisfy' him more from a hunger aspect. On the other hand the experience of eating may be mare enjoyable for him.

Having said all of that I'd still wait...try taking it a week at a time and reassess then. Can you give him lots of teething ring type things to satisfy his desire to bite?

Hope some of that waffle helps!

[percypig]

Sorry for typos!

[beansprout]

Growth spurts can be hard, but they do pass quite quickly. Nothing will fill him up more than milk so there is no point in giving him something else in a bid to fill him up. Plus, the 26 week recommendation is there for good reasons. I would say, stick to your original plan (which can be hard when everyone else starts weaning). Go with what you think is best. HVs are not known for their great advice around these parts!!

[chilledmama]

I agree with Lulumama but if you still are unsure (after the week) about whether or not he wants solids, then you could give him a small portion of babyrice made up with EBM. That way you'll know if he's ready. I really wanted to wait but my DS had other ideas!!

[Bethbe]

Lulu,

Maybe I wasn't clear! He's not very interested in feeding. He keeps messing about - not at all like him!

It's very painful on the breast, - so much so that I'm think of at least switching to formula. I'm often in tears at feeding time, and have to clamp him down to prevent him from ripping me nipples to shreds!

[CountTo10]

For fear of being shouted at by everyone as invariably I am is that you're only 3 or so weeks off from the official weaning age so it wouldn't be that dramatic for you to start. You also need to remember that you can start off with very basic baby rice etc before you even get into the whole vegetable/fruit thing by which point you could be into the 6mth safety zone anyway. I'm not going to tell you one way or the other what you should do. My one piece of advice is that regardless of how many people advise you to wean ahead of 6mths, you have to do what is right for you and your baby and if you're not absolutely comfortable in doing so then perhaps holding off would be better. I began a very slow weaning process with ds at 18 weeks approx and he was and is absolutely fine and of fab health/size etc. Hope you work it all out

[percypig]

Just to add Bethbe, most babies become far more efficient at bfeeding as they get older - less time on the breast does not necessarily mean less milk. When DS got like this, which he did in phases, I'd switch breasts, which quite often made a difference, then try the original breast agian, then assume he'd had enough.

[foxybrown]

absolutely - beansprout is right. do what you want to do. When I had my first weaning was recommended at 4 months - was slightly older when I did it, subsequently advice changed for others, none of whom made it to six months before being weaned. I did it quite slowly however.

what do you feel is right for him?

because you'll be right you know!

[percypig]

Sorry Count10 - her baby is actually 5 weeks off the 26 week mark. Also, though I'm sure your baby is fine, the reasons for later weaning are to do with the maturity of the gut, so it's impossible to know at this stage how a baby may, or may not be, affected.

[Bethbe]

Sorry, - unclear again!

What I meant was, - he wants to feed constantly, but when he gets there he messes about and pulls off and on. I know some babies are like that, - but he has always been such an aggressive feeder. He's driving me nuts!

[oliveoil]

[percypig]

Sounds like you're really having a tough time of it Bethbe. Just to reiterate though - early weaning won't give him extra calories. You need tiktok (the bfeeding expert) or someone who knows a lot more than me to help you. I would try just assuming he's had enough and not feeding him again till nearer the next feed time (roughly!) Try distractions, favourite toys etc. Hopefully he would then feed more the next time - again, switching breasts often (a tip I got from Mumsnet months ago) worked for me.

[CountTo10]

DO you have a breastfeeding counsellor or anything near you? If it really is simply issues with the actual feeding then they might be able to help/support you on it and advise you specifically on bf as opposed to early weaning.

[MrsApron]

What signs are you getting that he wants to feed constantly? The messing about would indicate that he doesn't want a feed.

Both my dds have done this they have actually been spacing their feeds out and I have taken longer to catch on and have been trying to feed them too often. Once the boob is out they do latch on but once the let down occurs they pull off because they aren't actually wanting any.

[lulumama]

definitely seek outside support re the breastfeeding, switching to formula or starting to wean before you are ready to do so, will not make you feel better....LLL or NCT are good places to start

Hunkermunker has some good contact details for BF support on her profile

[Bethbe]

Signs for feeding have always been:

panicky actions, followed by crying if not near me, - or headbutting me if on shoulder, or wriggling to get head to breast and than trying to latch on through clothes!

He absolutely can't be distracted from his determination.

This behaviour is still the same asit has always been, but when he gets there he messes about.

[foxybrown]

any chance its chewing he's interested in? thinking teething maybe?

[otherwisebecks]

my ds (23weeks)went through a 2 week phase of being really fussy at the breast when he was 18 weeks. it was so bad my milk supply got really low and i even considered giving up. i think he was teathing and although he was hungry it hurt his gums to feed. i managed to get through it by giving him lots of skin to skin and now he is feeding fine again.

[Bethbe]

Forgot to add - one of the HVs suggested that he is finding the milk boring. He does get bored easily in everything else!

What's wrong with Olive? Why is she being rude?

[UCM]

I might be totally out of my place here, but would a teething ring help.

I gave my LO crusts to munch on at this stage, but agree that milk is calorie rich.

[UCM]

Because the OP may not have read 'absolutely everything there is to know about keeping baby on milk until they are 26 weeks'

[UCM]

Which I will be doing with my new baby of course.

[lulumama]

milk is boring !!! a HV suggesting breastmilk is not enough for a baby !!

i would take everything she says with a grain of salt

how does a baby know it is boring, he does not know the taste of anything other than milk !

[Bethbe]

Oops sorry again - forgot to add:

He has dropped a whole percentile line in three weeks