very worried!!!

[Babyramone]

Don't know what to do, really none of my business but just found out my friend is weaning her ds (he's 6 weeks on monday) on baby poridge made with oats.
I have told her risks but she is going on her mothers recommendation that it was ok for her and brother.
What should I do, She's a first time mum and worrys is doing alright. I just can't believe she's giving him solids so early esp oats.
I have esp interest on not giving gluten products as my niece has coeliac and I've seem the effect it has on her.
Am I over reacting. Just worry about his wee body.

[DeputyMacDawg]

IMO 6 weeks is rather early ?

Mothers don't necessarily know best

Look here for some weaning info

[tiktok]

ramone....this is very difficult for you, but you have to say something. This is dangerous....I don't think there is much gluten in oats (though there is some) but it's not just that: at 6 weeks his digestion is far too immature to cope with oats and she could overload his kidneys and make him very poorly indeed. There's also the risk of allergy, and as you say, coeliac disease.

Can you ask her to at least give her health visitor a ring first?

It's hard to point her in the direction of info that says specifically 'solids at six weeks is dangerous' but we know there are documented, measurable risks before four months, and the earlier, the worse.

Current guidance is 6 months, so 6 weeks is preposterous, really.

[SaucyMoo]

completely agree, 6 weeks is way to early....they used to say 3 months, bjillions of years ago which i would kinda understand but 6 weeks is very early-can they even see the spoon at that age?!!!!!!!!

[Babyramone]

Thanks everyone.
I have emailed her some weaning links so hopefully she'll read.
Agree mothers don't always know best, My MIL goes on how she had my BIL on mince and tatties at 4 weeks
Tiktok thanks, I phoned her back and pointed out all these risks. She did argue at first the was all right for me..... But I emphasised the dangers she got quite uoset and has said will stop.
Fingers crossed.
I have a dd 21 weeks and am just thinking about weaning her, hoping to get to 26 weeks. Not easy when she's waking up more on night now but will hold off as long as possible.
With my friend , her wee boy wasn't even taking more than 4oz at any one fed yet.

[sunnysideup]

oh my goodness, not even on more than 4oz per feed, makes you realise what a tiny baby she was giving this stuff to!!!! Just wanted to say well done for tackling it, must have been awkward for you but you have done that little baby a favour - hope she really will stop!

[Babyramone]

So do I. She isn't the most confident person and has had a difficult two years. She looks to her mum a lot for support, even though her mum is several 100 miles away.
I suggested she increases his bottles as she thinks he's feeding to often.
Mind you hard to know what someone is really doing.
I also advised she spoke to H.V but she feels H.V looking for signs she's not coping or having problems so doesn't trust her.

[AitchTwoOh]

poor girl. you've done the right thing.

am i the only person thinking 'how do you actually feed a baby of that age?' (says she who was on a rusk in a bottle at a fortnight old and has the IBS to prove it...)

[Babyramone]

That's what I find hard, how is he swallowing anything. Very interesting your comment on your IBS. Had texted this worry to my sister and she has just got back to tell me her SIL had her dd on rusks at 6 weeks who then nearly died from collasped bowel. Appt no connection made but makes you wonder. MY dd has infant reflux due ti immature oesphagus/spincter thingy. So shows you how babies have a lot o developing to do once out.

[tiktok]

Babies on extremely early solids are often given them actually in the bottle - mixed with the formula, and the teat enlarged.

It's not just unhealthy, it is very dangerous as I said - the baby's fluid balance in his body is totally disturbed, and babies can become very ill or even die of dehydration as a result.

This used to happen when early solids were common, and it was one of the reasons why mothers were told to stop giving rusks in a bottle (because it is easy to shovel large amounts down the baby).

Maybe this friend's HV is justifiably worried, ramone - relying on a distant mum's advice and accepting what she says is worrying.

[Babyramone]

Thanks Tiktok, have had further chats with my friend and (massive big fingers crossed) she's stopping apparently didn't realise all this new guidence!!!!
I've encouraged her to speak to health visitor or even other mums she met. She's also giving him larger bottles which surprise surprise he's taking.
Hopefully this will be the end of it, Iam having her rouond for lunch next week to give her a bit of support. Hope I'm helpful.

[lulumama]

well done babyramone!!

such a hard balance to strike between not hurting your friend and stopping something potentially so harmful..sounds like she is listening to you!

wonder why on earth anyone would think that a 6 week old needs anything other than milk!

[tiktok]

Good work BR

[colditz]

Well done BR, you are very brave. Buy your mate a baby raising book fro her birthday!

[AitchTwoOh]

well done BabyRamone. good name, btw.

[fluffyanimal]

If your friend is afraid her HV is looking for signs she's not coping, could this suggest she has post-natal depression? Apparently people with PND sometimes start to avoid contact with health workers because they are afraid they will be 'labelled' unfit. You say she has had a rough time lately - just a thought - if you think this seems likely, is there a tactful way you could suggest she gets herself some proper support?

[Babyramone]

Thanks everyone, AitchTwoOh thanks guess DH's fav band. We're even in a book about them.
Fluffy, funnily those are my thoughts too. Iam on second child but due to family stresses (58yr old mum has sig memory loss prob Altzeimers)
My H.V had me on additional support. I have only ever seen this as a good thing, she has supported my struggle to breast feed and understood why at 10 weeks had to stop. She listens to all my worries.
My friends DH did something very silly and illegal two years ago, he really let her down and went missing for while. She was beside her self but loves him so much took him back right away. This is now all in past, he did wee bit time inside but things move on. However I think it all must build up for her. Her mum was fantastic support.
Having a new baby most stressful life changing thing we do (most rewarding too)and she worries alot that she's good enough. She scored borderline on edinburgh score so H.V prob just keeping eye on, basically doing her job. Think your right there is stil a stigma with "mental illness" and not coping with baby that people lie or hide true feelings.

[Babyramone]

Meant to add She coming for lunch this week so going to encourage her to get support.

[Babyramone]

Update, My friend has reassured me that she has stopped weaning and after bit of a heart to heart a few insecurities came out. I told her I'm here if she needs advice, by no means expert but hopefully would be some help.