Support needed for change of feeding tactic!

[whatsaduckdo]

My son is 9 months old. He was exclusively BF until 5.5 months when he began losing weight. The HV strongly advised me to start weaning and then quickly work up to 3 purée meals a day to ensure he was getting all he needs to put on weight. For the first couple of weeks he seemed ok with being fed but quickly started refusing everything I offered. Mealtimes were super stressful. My HV advised me that I needed to cut down on my milk feeds to make him more hungry and even went as far as saying all his nutrients should come from his food not milk which I now realise was wrong. Over time I have come to realise he much prefers to feed himself and have now completely done away with the purée meals and now he eats what we eat. The only thing I spoonfeed him is yoghurt and puree fruit which he prefers that way. He is still very selective with his food and the only thing he eats with enthusiasm are baby bels, pitta bread and toast, I keep persevering though and try to offer him lots of different foods.

Thankfully his weight is now ok so I haven't really had to discuss my change of tactic with the HV!

As I didn't officially do BLW (in hindsight I wish I had- mealtimes are now a lot less stressful) I'd just like a bit of reassurance. I'm trying to be all relaxed about the fact that he now seems to eat less than what he did when he was was initially having purées, but sometimes wonder whether he is getting enough from the tiny bits of veg/meat he does eat? I keep hearing about the importance of certains meats/fish/veg and how they help brain development etc!

Any advise/reassurance would be gratefully received! (sorry for the long post btw!)

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Sounds like you've had some truly shocking advice from your HV. Basically anything they eat at this age is good. Someone posted on here recently that we should look on weaning as 6 months of getting them to eat anything, learn about family mealtimes and hopefully start to use cutlery and a cup. In think that's a very good way of looking at it.

Are you still bfing? If so offer a feed roughly an hour before you offer solids. Once they are one you can offer solids before bfing.

What are Los weight and height centiles like? Are is anything to make you think there is a problem with what you are doing now?

If you think Lo isn't getting enough calories could you fit in another feed during the day?

As for his food intake, I would just offer family food and not offer an alternative if he refuses. I know how hard it can be, especially as you've had weight issues in the past, but it really works with stopping fussiness

[whatsaduckdo]

Thanks for your reply! I'm still bfing but early morning and last thing at night, the afternoon feed is now formula as I'm preparing to go back to work. I try and make sure he's not starving when we offer him food but again the HV said that if we gave him a milk feed too close then he def won't eat which seems contrary to what others are doing.

He's on the 25 centile for weight and the 75th for length. He's very long which makes him look quite skinny! His weight has been stable since we were force feeding giving purées initially and was fine last week after a couple of weeks of letting him feed himself.

I suppose I'm just a bit anxious because of the initial weight loss and the HVs insistence on 3 meals/day and 'lots of meat to fill him up as that's what growing boys need'!

That's a good point about not offering alternatives- so far we have been doing that- I expect he now knows that if he waits long enough we will eventually give in and give him a pitta/baby bel! I will def stop that!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

If you think he is hungry, really he needs more milk. Until they are one it should be the milk that fills them up and food should just be complimentary. The advice from your HV seems outdated. The current NHS advice is to aim for 3 meals at 9 months, at the earliest.

Could you put another bottle if formula in the day? What times are his current feeds, meals and naps?

[whatsaduckdo]

I'm definitely going to stop listening to the HV on this one and follow my instincts.
His schedule is as follows:

5am: BF
7.30am: get up
8am breakfast
9:30am: nap for 1- 1 1/2 hrs
12pm: lunch
2pm: 7oz formula then 2hr nap
5pm: tea
7pm: bed time and BF
11:30pm 7oz formula dream feed- started a couple of weeks ago as he wasn't sleeping.

Today he has hardly eaten anything at all and showed no interest in the food I put in front of him bar a little nibble. He is teething though so it could be down to that. I'm living in hope that one day soon he will start to show more enthusiasm for food. I suppose he's still learning.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Has his sleep improved at all since the dream feed?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Oh and should have said, really, really don't worry if he's not eating. Most babies have days where they hardly eat and others where they eat more.

If you think he is teething try a teething gel like Dentinox just before offering solids and a dose of ibruprofen about 4.30pm so that he is pain free for the evening meal.

Big chunks of cool cucumber or a frozen banana to gnaw on can help as can a cold, clean wet flannel.

Did your HV suggest you talk to a BFC or lactation consultant about reasons why he started loosing weight or refer him for tests? Actually loosing weight is pretty unusual and deserves further investigation. It could be something as simple as readjusting latch or getting tongue tie diagnosed.

[Andcake]

3 hrs between bf and breakfast seems a bit long to me. We do an hour after morning feed.
Our ds can be a bit fussy and if he refusing food I always have fruit in to offer. Mango current fav. Bread sticks and I sure others will disapprove but half a rich tea biscuit also works. As when teething he likes the crunch

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Agree with and. Could you fit in a bf st 7 and still do breakfast at 8am?

[LeBFG]

Agree with Jilted. When my DS was about 8mo he stopped gaining and this lasted for very many months. He has paed. led care and she was concerned. This was the end of BLW for us. He started gaining one month before they were set to declench tests for allergies etc. He never actually lost weight though.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

How are you getting on now duckdo?

[whatsaduckdo]

Morning! Sorry for the slow response, we've been having Internet issues.

He is doing a lot better with his eating at the moment- we went away for the weekend to stay with friends who are very familiar with BLW, he joined us at the table for all meals and was really adventurous! He tried everything we put in front of him. I think it was a combination of teething settling down, the relaxed eating environment and also a good supportive high chair that allows him to sit right to the table (ours is rubbish, we since bought a new one) he has been good ever since.

Incidentally- he is loving cucumber which must be nice on his teeth!

With regards to his sleeping- the dream feed has allowed us to get about a 5hr chunk of sleep before he wakes again at around 5am. I initially didn't want to go down the route of dream feeding as its hard to know when he stops needing it but at least it gives us a bit more sleeping time!

Do you think that he is in need of a mid morning milk after breakfast- my HV seemind to think that at 9mths he doesnt and that we should start cutting down the milk. I have to admit I have been following my instincts and over the past few days have been topping up his breakfast with formula so he's not starving by lunchtime.

I've just re-read my original post- I'm not sure why I wrote that he was losing weight, that's very dramatic, he actually slowed right down and dropped a full centile which is when the HV suggested weaning. Sorry, that was very misleading, I blame the tiredness!!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

So glad there was no weight loss. Dropping a full centile isn't unusual and you should think of complaining about your HV. The very least she should have done is to suggest you go along to a Bfing support group. Her advice is definitely not what the NHS advise, which is to wean at 6 months, still offer milk on demand and to not give 3 meals a day until they are at least 3 months. If you do complain and suggest she has sone training to bring her upto date, you are hopefully ensuring that other parents won't be exposed to such shocking advice.

4 hours is a long time to go between being fed. As you are preparing to go back to work, could you fit in a small ff around 10am or a drink and a snack? If Lo is going to nursery or a cm, have you asked what the meal, snack and sleep times will be there so that you can do the same?

[whatsaduckdo]

I think I will say something about the HV, particularly as her advise re: him not needing so much milk is contrary to the guidelines and you're right about not wanting others to receive the same advise.

I have been topping up breakfast with some formula and will try a drink and snack mid morning which I think he will enjoy. Nursery will follow our routine re: milk but I know they do have mid morning and mid afternoon snacks too.

Thanks so much for your advise and support Jilted.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Let us know how you get on over the next couple of weeks and your return to work