Advice on share

[mrslaughan]

I am a sharer of a mare that I do love, but I am considering ending it.........and it is really about my riding goals I guess........but I want to know if I am being silly, my in-experience is showing, so I would love some thought from the lovely tack room mumsnetters.
I have been sharing her for 7 months - I knew her from the riding school where she was on working livery.
Anyway - I am wanting to improve my riding and eventually do low level dressage. She is a well schooled horse, but is over-weight (this is a whole other thread, but her owner is not motivated to change this) , and seems to have a low level back injury. I have been lunging her to build up her top line.
My riding and confidence has improved hugely over the last 7months, but with the time off over the last little while I have had some lessons on some of the other school horses - and although not perfect, each lesson I have walked away with a sense of achievement, that I have learnt something.
Whereas now I am back riding her, I feel I am going over the same ground.
Having to use a huge amount of leg to just keep her in a decent trot ( instructor who is actually one of her fans, and thought sharing her was a good idea made the comment, she didn't know how she would teach me to leg yeild on her as I was having to use so much leg just to get a good trot). This maybe related to her weight - which I have no influence over.
The other thing is she is a moody mare, and if I do something wrong (like use the stick at the wrong time) - she will buck, nothing to un seat me - they are small, but it has an effect on my confidence I think - but it is also starting to piss me off. But it also means I don't really trust her - and I hopes that I would have got to this point by now.

Then there is her back - she is uneven and I have been working hard to correct this. But I hacked her yesterday and I could feel the unevenness throwing me off..... Now I am being quite analytical, as I have had an open discussiion with my instructor about ending the share, and a point she made was, that we don't want dmare - causing me problems because she is crooked. Yesterday she was very crooked, which makes me worry that we are going backwards as far as her back is concerned.

The thing is, I am not ready to own a horse - I could think about loaning, but financially that would not be a good idea at the moment I don't think. So it would be back to riding school horses - which as I said I have ridden recently and every lesson I learnt something.

What do you all think?

[Pixel]

Well, I do have lessons on other horses if I want to feel like I'm learning and achieving as dhorse is incredibly stubborn and frustrating in the school, so I feel your pain! If he was on loan and I didn't already own and love him I think he'd have been long gone .

Sounds to me as if deep down you've already made up your mind. If you've already outgrown her after just 7 months then keeping her on for longer isn't going to improve things, shame though it is. It's one thing trying to improve your own horse with regards to working on its unevenness and stuff like that but difficult with a share if the owner is happy with the horse as she is.

[50BalesOfHay]

When you say 'teach you to leg yield on her' I assume you are very much a novice. (Otherwise apology)., in which case you shouldn't be riding anything other than a schoolmaster, and certainly shouldn't be expected to school anything. I'd give up the share and spend on lessons.

[mrslaughan]

I am very much a novice. I have leg yielded before a little bit, but I I think the comment is more to do with the fact, that with her we are not moving forward.
She is really a school mistress this is the thing - I think my husband really summed it up last night, there are a couple of things getting in the way of us moving forward, one is her weight ( she is obese). - but her owner thinks it is cruel to put her on a diet. And her back - but this could be very well caused by her weight.

I think the thing holding me back from ending it is that I will miss her.....and miss all the extra stuff you do, when you own your own horse. (Very big sigh).

[Smartieaddict]

Have you thought of looking for another share? It sounds to me like having a share is ideal for you, just not with this particular horse. Maybe it would be an idea to go back to just lessons, while you look around for a more suitable horse to share?

[mrslaughan]

That's what I am thinking. I have booked a lesson with a different instructor on Tuesday - to see if I think I can work through it.
But I am not sure I can - although she is well schooled I think that maybe with where she is now, she would be better suited to a sharer who wants to hack - where she just plods ( and that is starting to annoy me) but is bomb proof

[50BalesOfHay]

Sorry, I sounded very rude. What I meant was that you've probably got as far as you will with this horse. I'd also not be happy sharing a horse whose owner's care is a bit dubious.

I'd look to have lessons on good school horses to develop to the next level then think about a share of a 'better' horse.

[Zazzles007]

OP, it sounds like this mare is not the right share horse for you. She might be a school mistress, but what sort of school mistress is she? Is she a school mistress for a complete beginner rider? Or is she a school mistress for a rider who wants to eventually compete prelim/novice level dressage? She may be well schooled, but what is she capable of? You have said she can leg yield, but is hard for a novice rider to keep in trot. Can she be easily ridden on the bit? Has she got all the lateral work (ie shoulder in, travers, half pass) training established? If she is hard to trot, what is she like to canter?

If she is the latter type of school mistress, I would expect that she is schooled up to a minimum of elementary level dressage - this is the general rule of thumb for a school master. The horse should (ideally) be trained up to one level beyond that which you would like to compete. From the sounds of it, I think you need something that is relatively easy to ride, is somewhat forgiving of the mistakes that novice riders make, but will not give you the correct answer if you have not asked the horse correctly. I have made some assumptions, so amend them as you see fit. A horse that is difficult for you to keep in trot at this stage of your riding is not doing you any favours, and I am also assuming that you may not be ready for spurs at this stage.

If I were you, I would tell your sharer that you are discontinuing with the share. I wouldn't bother to say why, as some horse people can get really really offended with feedback. If you are progressing with lessons on school horses atm, then I would do that for the short term, while looking out for a more suitable horse to share.

Hope this helps.

[mrslaughan]

50 - didn't think you were being rude, and meaning to say congrats on your new G-grand child, and pleased you Grand daughter is finding her feet. She is very very lucky to have you - and hope I could be as gracious and supportive in the same situation.

Zazzles - I think you have hit the nail on the head....her canter is not great, this is a fitness issue as much as anything.

The thing that got me thinking about this was I had a lesson on a horse I rode as a true beginner, she was a real plodder...when i turned up and saw who I was allocated I was a little disappointed, But I was so surprised - although a safe pair of hands with a beginner, she can really step it up for someone who wants to move up, do something more than a walk trot and canter.

You are all right - now I just need to do it.......
Thank you! I don't have horsey friends away from the yard, and this is not something I can talk about with people at the yard, for fear of it getting back to her owner and her being terribly offended.

[50BalesOfHay]

Thank you Mrsl. Hope its going well

[50BalesOfHay]

My mare can be flat and lack spark in canter, I ride a good few strides of shoulder fore before I ask for canter. Could be worth a try if you carry on with her for a bit?