Look for a sharer or not?

[50BalesOfHay]

Prompted by the sharer thread I'm toying with looking for someone to share my mare in the spring, but I don't really want to so I need your advice/ideas

Due to an out of the blue family issue in the near future I'm going to have far less time to myself than currently, and this will go on for a long time. I desperately don't want to part with her but I don't think I'll have time to ride more than a couple of times a week, and may even struggle with getting up to look after her every day.

She's a very low maintenance little thing - lives out, no hard feed etc so I don't really need the financial contribution, but she deserves and needs daily time and attention

She's one of those lovely sensible little cobs that behaves the same whether she's ridden every day or once in a blue moon, but she's a native and prone to getting fat and flabby if she's not worked enough.

I love her to bits, she's turned me from a nervous wreck into a confident rider and I'm ashamed to say that I'd really like to keep her just for me, but that's just selfish, and not putting her needs first isn't it?

[chocolatecakeystuff]

Oooo tricky one. If you found 'the right' sharer it could be really good for your mare.I guess it all comes down to could you trust someone else to do things the way you do/ want them doing x

[mrslaughan]

I think sharing your beloved horse - emotionally - I can imagine, abit like sharing your husband....LOL, but I think her having a sharer could be very positive for her, especially if she is a horse that likes human company.

I have just started sharing someone's beloved, and I really feel privileged to be allowed - if you see what I mean.

The Dmare I am sharing is a lovely cob, who is safe as houses out on hacks, but can really challenge you in the school. As I am wanting to improve my riding at the moment I am riding in the school and in lessons - already my riding has improved hugely, but also I think in a while, this will be really beneficial to her owner, who can't get to her every day and definitely can't ride her everyday (and doesn't do lessons on her), she is already becoming more tuned in to her rider, less challenging and more responsive.....I have a long way to go, but can now see why she is so delighted that my plan is to have lessons on her.

You are not in the financial position where you need to share her, so I would take my time and be really choosey.

[horseylady]

I dont think having a sharer is like sharing your husband lol!! I found it quite positive. I have a lovely lady share my mare, she loves hope, is reliable when I go away and helps with riding and chores. I do take a financial contribution but this was more to ensure the person wasn't in it for a free ride. I believe by paying, they are more likely to turn up and ride etc.

And you can say no and end the agreement at any point.

[CMOTDibbler]

I think with a sensible cob, you could have your choice of sharers. So put feelers out, and find someone you like and trust - remember that if it doesn't work you can stop at any time.

Wish you were close to me. I'd love to do a share again, but all the shares on offer have ishoos

[Pixel]

Wish you were near me. I little while ago my friend was part-loaning her lovely safe little cob and I introduced her to someone else I knew who had had a bad experience with a loan and needed to regain confidence. They are all getting on like a house on fire but now I slightly regret that I didn't take her on myself to get my confidence up. As I already have a horse it didn't occur to me until it was too late!

[50BalesOfHay]

Thanks for different perspectives, glad I'm not a complete loon being reluctant to share her, but it's good to hear of positive experiences. I've not got to decide just yet so will mull it over and see how I go. Just in case I do go down that route, and there's someone here looking for a share like her in Spring/summer we're in Leicestershire (Charnwood Forest)

[PincessLuna]

I am a sharer of someone's horse and really I am so grateful for the opportunity as I would not have the time, money or expertise to have my own at this stage. It is a dream come true for me.

I take it really seriously, am happy to listen and learn from the owner and like to think I always do my best at looking after her horse.

The horse's owner watched me the first three or four times to make sure I knew what I was doing and she is often down the yard herself as her DDs have another pony so I can always ask her for advice if I need to.

Please don't be put off sharing your horse, but just make sure you find a suitable person to be your sharer.

When my friend was looking for her sharer she actually put "no jumping" in her advert as loads of kids were phoning her up, and as soon as she put no jumping the phone calls from kids stopped. She does actually let her sharer jump now she has vetted her, but she just wanted to put off all the kids and teenagers who just want to race around jumping everything in sight. Not that she has anything against kids, but I know if I was sharing a horse I would probably rather have an adult sharer really, or at least someone over 16.

Likewise I think if you put in your advert no financial contribution required then you might attract a lot of young kids or unreliable people looking for a free ride. So I would say something like "financial contibution to be negotiated" then that way you won't put off people who are genuine but can't afford to pay much, for example university students. I think sharers should expect to have to contribute something, whether that is money or doing chores like poo picking and cleaning tack.

Also just make sure you think about what you would be happy for the sharer to do with your horse, ie would you be happy for them to jump, hack, take her to shows, drive her in a horsebox, let other friends ride etc

Good luck.

[Mitchy1nge]

a sharer will probably end up becoming a friend in due course and it is never (or hardly ever) a bad thing to have an extra friend in life is it?

[50BalesOfHay]

That's a good point Mitchy! I hadn't looked at it that way. If I do, I will want a small financial contribution (maybe half of her shoeing or something) as when I bought her I sort of inherited a sharer, who was lovely with her, but didn't want to contribute as she hadn't previously and it just pissed me off that she thought I should subsidise her riding.

Ideally I'd like someone who wants to hack or school during the week, but is too busy at weekends. They can pop the odd small jump, but dhorse doesn't have much scope, and I'd want an adult (she wouldn't appeal to a kid anyway)

[mrslaughan]

50 - I would be your ideal sharer - but I am sorted.
I pay 25 a week plus 1/2 shoeing and have her 3 days - I take my responsibility seriously, but I am very respectful that she is not my horse, though i do llllloooovvvvvveeeeeee her, and more so everyday. I think Dhorse loves the extra attention and actually nickered to me the other day.

[Ninablue]

Hi 50balesofhay Im in leicestershire and may be able to help you out if you do decide to share your mare. Im looking to start riding again, PM me if you would like to have a chat...x