When do I get a pony for dd?

[Arrianne]

DD is 3 and very girly. She has sat on my horse but I can't let her do much as I can't trust my mare as unpredictable and spooky. I have not pushed her and she only comes to yard occasionally as I don't want to put her off. I will be honest - I desperately want her to be interested in horses and get as much enjoyment from them as I have done. She sometimes mentions the horse but it does not appear to figure very high in her life. It is just part of our life. There are not many good riding schools near by and many insist that children are 4 years old. I am tempted to look for a pony but common sense tells me to wait. I am so worried she won't be interested in horses that I have gone in the other direction and take her to dancing lessons! Do I wait? My instinct is to find somewhere for her to ride in spring when weather better. If she doesn't mention horses by now do you think she really is not interested?

[ZenNudist]

Watching with interest. My family are all into riding and the in laws have been indoctrinating ds (2) since birth. He is very into visiting their stables and talks very often of BIL horsey clip clop (BIL is a professional show jumper).
I think MIL is bent on getting a pony for him from about 4. I've already had to prevent them 'just giving him a go' of a horse!

I can't see that your dd's interest at 3 is indicative of what she wants later in life but I would say back off a bit. Perhaps if she sees you pushing her towards riding she will be less bothered. Whereas if she just sees you enjoying it she might choose to join in.

[CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire]

I'd just wait and see for a while. Maybe tempt her a bit with a wee ride now and again, but don't buy one straight out. Too much too soon and it will all become boring. Whet her appetite, thats all.

[CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire]

[rutnoast]

personally i wouldnt buy one until shes had a good lot of lessons and is really keen. Both my DDs ride (11 and 14) but the eldest was 7 when she started and DD2 was 6. I have ridden for years, didnt start til I was 10 (unhorsey parents) but read pony magazines etc all through school and that made me sufficiently keen that I would have done anything for my own pony. Both the DDs have friends through PC/BSJA who have had ponies as long as they can remember and they are all a lot less fussed about riding, can take it or leave it, as its just something thats always been "there" for them, they've never had to really want it.

Certainly don't agree that its too late if she isnt mentioning it at the moment - she is 3!

[rutnoast]

[Mirage]

I'd wait too.Both my dds were very keen,dd2 especially started asking as soon as she could talk.[I had ponies as a child but hadn't ridden for years].At 4 they both went for lessons and we eventually bought dpony when the eldest was 7 and the youngest 6. 18 months in they ride 6 days a week when possible and pony no2 has just arrived.

My cousin,who rode all her life until 10 years ago,has a pony on loan for her 3 dc,hoping that they'd be interested,but none of them are.You can never tell.

[Frangipan1979]

My family are not horsey at all and I had to beg and plead for riding lessons. I think I was about 11 or 12 when I first rode and wanted to ride as my school friends did. Even then my parents couldn't afford lessons so I got one lesson per month as a treat and when I was older I started mucking out in return for lessons.

I then had to give up when I went to uni as no money and have recently got back in the saddle aged 30. I am now in a financial position to buy my own but am sharing until I get more experience. For me even the opportunity to share is amazing and a childhood dream finally come true.

I think because I had to fight so hard to ride it means so much more to me. A couple of my friends who got ponies handed to them on a plate took it for granted and lost interest as soon as they hit 13 or so and started to get interested in boys and make up. That's not always the case but I think it does happen a lot.

Don't spoil your daughter. Make her fight for it and it will mean so much more.

[N0tinmylife]

I would agree with what most of the others have said, don't push it with her, and don't let it come too easy. It is way to early to know what her interests will be, but you do need to prepare yourself for the possibility that she won't be interested in horses.

Do you know anyone with a pony that she could ride on the odd occasion? She may find it more interesting riding something more her size, that she can actually start to try and control a bit herself.

[Mirage]

I agree with the posters who say to let her really want a pony.My dds friends had ponies from when they were tiny and they used to come home and say that 'x has two ponies and we don't have any.' But I'm really glad we waited,they know just how lucky they are now.

[Callisto]

Well I'll give it from a different perspective. DD has ridden since she was a bump and I got her a lead reiner and basket saddle as soon as she could reliably hold her head up. She is now on her third pony (1st lead rein didn't work out, second lead rein brilliant but absolute devil off the lead rein, now has 12hh section A first ridden with a perfect temperament) and she is about as nuts about ponies as you could wish. Even in all this shitey weather she still wants to ride. She also knows just how lucky she is (I remind her all of the time on this point).

So I would say get your DD a lead rein pony she can mess around on, take her to camp next summer and see how she gets on. If you have one horse already a small pony will be hardly any extra work (honest ) and it is a buyers market at the moment.

[Floralnomad]

I'd had horses from when I was 12 ,and when I had my son we had 3 on full livery and a Shetland on DIY. He rode the Shetland intermittently and then at 5 went to riding lessons which he didn't enjoy so we bought a Dartmoor pony when he was 6 ( Shetland had died) . By 7 he had completely lost interest and I had a 1 yr old daughter. She started at riding school at 4 fell off a couple of times when she was 5 ( once off our Dartmoor) and gave up as well . We now just have our Dartmoor as all our other horses have died and she's on full livery ,my sister visits her a couple of times a week . The pony is 19 ,same age as my son and neither of mine have any inclination to go near a horse ,which in view of the fact that we don't sell anything is IMO a pretty good way to keep it !

[Arrianne]

Thank you very much for your answers. I will be honest - I liked Callistos best:)) If I had my own land I would not have this dilemma as I would have bought the pony by now!
But as I keep mine 6 miles away on part livery (as I have to work to support horse!) it would not be a cheap option to keep a pony at said yard.
However I did not have horsey parents and really really wanted a pony when I was young. So I do agree with the ethos that it is better if she really wants one.
Think I will have to try to find a pony she can have the occasional ride on and see how it goes..........

[Callisto]

Arriane - if you are in the Cotswolds I have two ponies that are both great on the lead rein that your DD would be very welcome to ride whenever she likes. I have the 11hh lead rein who is between loans and DD's first ridden.

[Arrianne]

Thank you so much Callisto, that is very kind of you. However I live in the northwest. :(
I am pretty sure I will get her one. My plan is to find somewhere where she can have fun this spring, then I will speak to the yard owner and see if I can come to a cheap arrangement. I will be honest - I can't wait to start looking for a pony. Can I ask you a question? As she will be 4 next summer, am I better looking at small section A type rather than Shetland?

[CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire]

What size are you? A large traditional Shetland would be great for her, and you could ride it too! Ours is full up to height and built like a bus! She carried me at twelve stone for light hacking! She's about 13hh on six inch legs! she rides much bigger, you just look like you are hacking in a ditch!!
She's as gentle as they come and would love a tin tot to mother! Sadly we are in East Angular!

[dikkertjedap]

I would wait a bit.

There is still plenty of time.

I would only get a pony when she has had lessons, is committed and can already ride well. I think that children who learn to ride on different ponies become better, more confident riders.