Not sure I can face going back after Christmas :(

(22 Posts)
cardibach Sun 23-Dec-12 19:26:10

I have been teaching (Secondary English) for 23 years and have mostly enjoyed it and had success, both in terms of promotion and exam results. 4 Years ago my school reorganised into Faculties and I did not get the job. I was Head of ENglish up until then. SInce then, I feel that everything I have dne has been undermined and undervalued. Our new Head appears to hate me (there are reasons why this might be so, but they would probably out me) and is bullying me. On Friday, my very supportive Head of Faculty left. I don't feel I can do it any more. I already have a heart Arrhythmia caused by stress and can't face dealing with a whole new department (the other ENglish teacher has also left).
I am trying not to let it spoil my Christmas, but I genuinely don't know whther I will find the strength to go back in January.
THoughts? Advice?

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sun 23-Dec-12 19:27:16

Right. Apply for a new job. Update your CV before you go back. Make a plan.

It does not seem sustainable TBH

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sun 23-Dec-12 19:27:57

And do go back. Always easier to find a job when you are in one IME but make sure you have THE PLAN to get you through the day

cardibach Sun 23-Dec-12 19:33:50

THanks for replying Ophelia. I have been looking for a job for 2 years, and have only been able to apply for two. I got an interview for 1 but didn't get it. Was surprised not to get one for the other as I had spoken to the Head and she seemed impressed with me. I possible need to ask for a copy of my reference...
You are right about going back, but at the moment I can barely think about it. I might feel stronger when I am not so tired, though.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sun 23-Dec-12 19:37:57

I think you need to write down everything you can do to get a new job when you have had a good sleep.

Get two or three friends to look at your CV and each rewrite as though they were applying for a job

Do something awesome for yourself which makes you feel more confident (anything. Hair, eyebrows, reading Kant --at a push--)

Give your plan a timeline

Focus on the plan

Work on your forced smile for work. It involves what beauty queens do to prevent wrinkles in photos. Drop your jaw and give a tiny smile. Looks like a huge smile but masks that you HATE THEM.

Drink wine

And don't just apply for one job at a time. Apply for all those that MIGHT fit and don't forget to punch above your weight.

How about (when you have drunk wine and rested a bit) focus on what would help make this current job more bearable:
-could you list things that really you need to sit and "have out" with the current Head and make a plan to meet them in the new term
-is there anyone at school, even if they're in a different dept but have been there long enough to understand the changes that you can go and have a chat with?
- now your Head of Faculty has left, would it be worth talking to them, perhaps now they are no longer employed there they could give you some inside tips on how to handle the Head better, or how to make things better?

But don't let it spoil Christmas, make a date for later in the week eg the 27th or 28th that you say to yourself that you will give it some headspace and tackle it. And then pour some more wine.

GW297 Mon 24-Dec-12 09:39:50

If you are being bullied at work why not contact your union or seek legal advice? Maybe also go to your doctor? Sorry this is happening to you.

cardibach Mon 24-Dec-12 14:35:04

THanks all. Lovely advice and thought. I'll froget about it over CHristmas then make A PLAN in the New Year. Trouble is (and I don;t mean to be defeatist much ) I live in the back of beyond so there aren't many jobs, teaching or otherwise, within driving distance.

Yarg Mon 24-Dec-12 14:41:25

I was in a very similar position about a decade ago.

I just quit and went temping. Temp rapidly led to perm in an entirely different field, and I never looked back.

Teaching is a killer. If you have stress-induced heart problems, you should be signed off, IMHO.

Take care of yourself, OP.

cardibach Mon 24-Dec-12 18:52:22

It';s a non-threatening heart issue, Yarg (six million tests this year to establish that), but I'm not wild about it. It's going bonkers at the moment, so I'm hoping the holiday will settle it. It might if I could stop waking up in the ight to worry about next term.
I can;t afford to just quit - single parent, so no other income, but will look at options other than teaching. THing is, I still like the teaching part.

happilyconfused Thu 27-Dec-12 22:27:10

It is hard to get teaching posts once you are experienced and over M3 I have been looking for SMT jobs and they are going to peeps in late 30s not us old 45 types. Tough it out if you can and focus on positives

cardibach Fri 28-Dec-12 13:49:05

I think you are right that 'toughing it out' is the best option as it puts me in the strongest position for job hunting. The problem is I've been doing that for 3 years now and I am getting tired. I also fear that she will try for competency (and while I am more than competent, we all know it is fairly easy for a \Head to 'prove' otherwise if they decide to.

happilyconfused Sun 06-Jan-13 11:48:57

In that case start planning an escape route. Tutoring is a good start if you can be flexible - plenty of a level students do not know how to write an essay, school entrance, SATs etc. get some pension advice. Temping is good advice. I had a friend who did that who is now student services manager at a college and loving it

ninah Sun 06-Jan-13 15:37:53

how are you feeling cardi? hoping the break has helped. I must say I am dreading going back, and that's without all the difficulties you've had to cope with
good luck!

cardibach Mon 07-Jan-13 20:20:43

Well, I did go in. IT as bearable (INSET and I didn't have to speak to the Head) but I still feel very fragile and unhappy about it all. New Head of Faculty seems OK, but difficult to tell yet.

ninah Tue 08-Jan-13 21:02:23

well done - day at a time job then! One thing, the HTs I've known that were bullies never bullied just one person - they tended to swap around. Let's hope the Head of Faculty has insight and integrity. All the very best!

cardibach Mon 04-Feb-13 14:24:28

OK, I had to come home early today as couldn't stop crying. I am being victimised. All my Y10 folders were taken for 'monitoring' while I was not even in the classroom on Friday and I discovered today it was just mine, not the whole department's.
When I got home (agreed with Head of Department) I got a phone call from school asking exactly why I had come home as unless I was ill it was unuathorised absence.
No idea what to do now.

ninah Mon 04-Feb-13 17:52:06

get your union online asap
you were authorised to go home, they are talking rubbish

cardibach Sat 19-Apr-14 11:41:12

Just thought I'd update this for those who gave me support - I've got a new job ! It has been grim in the last 18 months, so much so that the lovely new HoD left too, but I have found a new job as HoD which starts in September. Get in!

Congrats CardiBach! Guessing by the name you're not too far from me ;)

That's great news. I really hope that your new place is brilliant.

iwantavuvezela Sat 19-Apr-14 11:54:39

Well done YOU!

NCFTTB Sat 19-Apr-14 13:16:21

Fantastic! Well done and thanks for updating.

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