I think we've been adopted by a local cat

[RunningBear78]

Hi,
We have been visited in our garden by a very pretty tabby for the past year or so. Every now and then she would poke her nose into the kitchen and take a peek but then shoot off. She was always very affectionate, desperate for cuddles, and clearly never gets brushed as she constantly malts like crazy.
We've wondered for ages whether she doesn't have a cat flap, as she often meets us at the front door to walk through the house to the back garden!
In the very hot weather dh discovered her looking very hot and bothered and dehydrated in the garden, so gave her some water which she lapped up, followed by a bowl of milk, which she also devoured.
Since then, perhaps not surprisingly, she has been to visit much more regularly. I've bought a brush and regularly give her a brush so we can cuddle her without getting covered in hair. Every now and then dh gives her some milk, now she loves him
We have been quite worried that she doesn't seem to go home, or can't get in to her own house when she wants. She seems fed, isn't overly skinny or anything (although clearly doesn't get milk at home!)
Anyway, the past few weeks she has been sitting outside our back door meowing and looking very lonely, and quite sad when we close the door on her in the evening. This morning she was out the front and dh found her dirty and wet and meowing loudly at him as he set off for work. He had to leave her meowing on the front step. This morning when I got up, she wandered into the kitchen and lay down for a snooze. She has never been that relaxed in our house before. She's nuzzling me as I type this and purring away and seems so content (and no I haven't fed/watered her)

So, I know deep down that cats are tarts and just want food and cuddles, and will take them where they can, but this little mog seems totally starved of cuddles and grooming and as we have been giving both she seems to want to move in! We don't know who she belongs to, but we worry about her, and I don't quite know what to do now.

Is giving her cuddles and brushes and occasional milk/water a bad thing? She has a collar but not contact details ...

[redcaryellowcar]

I am not 100% certain but think cats should only have cat milk (you can buy it in supermarkets), as for her adopting you I think she sounds rather nice but would be good to check her owners know, not sure if you can check for microchip other than taking her to the vets, but if she is moving in might be worth a trip for a general health check and to see if she has been chipped?

[talulahbelle]

I would say fine to the cuddles and water, but not the milk. Cows milk is very bad for cats. I wouldn't feed her at all.
She probably has a loving owner, but will enjoy any extra fuss - I know mine do.

[RunningBear78]

Really no milk!? We have always fed our cats milk - what does it do to them? Will desist with the milk though if that is the current advice. I thought she was here for the milk only, but seems quite happy curled up on the chair next to me this morning watching me work.

I'm secretly hoping she belongs to the family up the road who are moving, and that when they move she'll come back and prefer to be with us We keep telling ourselves we won't get a cat, but when one moves in what can you do!

I hope she has a loving owner, sometimes we're just not convinced ...

[SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter]

"but when one moves in what can you do"

Put her back outside because she isn't your cat.

[ubik]

Our cat used to do the rounds of neighbour's kitchens everyday. Fat bastard.

[SoupDragon]

Put a note on the cat's collar with your phone number on.

[SoupDragon]

Put her back outside because she isn't your cat.

Which is all well and good if you know it isn't a stray.

[cozietoesie]

Many cats have lactose intolerance. Seniorboy appears not to have and has stolen milk in the past (glasses of milk left stupidly on the floor) without apparent ill effect. (He loves fridge cold milk but he doesn't get it - water is what's left out for him.)

RunningBear

Is there no way you can actively find out who she notionally belongs to? I'd have no problem, given what you've described, in giving her occasional food, love and shelter but it gets more problematic if she might need vet care or longer term accommodation.

[volvocowgirl]

My cat lets herself into all the neighbour's houses if their doors or windows are open. She also looks like a right scruff half the time as she's white but like to roll round in muck and under cars.
Please make every effort to find the owner before you adopt. I'd be heartbroken if my little bundle of muck and fluff moved out :-(

[SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter]

But there's nothing to suggest this cat is a stray, she's probably hanging around because she gets stuff she isn't allowed at home - milk. If she has a family somewhere they'll be heartbroken if the OP decides to adopt her.

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

Oh God, I'm on another thread at the moment about a lost cat (from the original owner's POV) and it's HEARTBREAKING.

OP, is she chipped? Get her checked for a chip by the vet. If she is then they can trace her owner.

I never feed visiting cats, or let them sit on laps/sofas etc, but I do stroke and talk to them like a loon and put down water if it's hot or they sit in the sink or start drinking out of fetid puddles. I think these are reasonable boundaries and hopefully don't encourage cats to think I've adopted them and abandon their owner.

And yes, definitely no milk.

[RunningBear78]

Woooah easy there! We haven't fed her, ever, and would never do that as she doesn't look malnourished, as I said above. We didn't actively adopt her, she came to us for cuddles, even before we started giving her water, milk and anything other than a stroke in the garden.

I know she isn't a 'stray' as she has a collar, but with no id tag on. Can you feel the chips or do they need a vet to inspect? We just feel a bit sad that she just doesn't seem to get that much attention or have anywhere nice to curl up and sleep at home, where ever that might be, which is, I assume, why she likes our garden and now our kitchen floor.

Put her back outside because she isn't your cat right. helpful. thanks. We did that for a year and a half, she didn't really get the idea.

Got it, no more milk. Will also let DM know as she has been feeding her fluff balls milk for the past 30 years!

From all the cats I've known, if the owner looks after them well, loves them lots and feeds them they are unlikely to just move out. The only other cats I've know to actively adopt new families are those that don't get cuddles and are mistreated at home. Looks like we'll have to keep the back door shut and see if we can find an owner for her.

[SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter]

Go and read this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a1832489-My-cat-disappeared-almost-two-years-ago

[volvocowgirl]

Have you thought about putting one of those tube note holders (that they use to hold ID or medication notes) on her collar with a little note in and your phone number? Any owner would notice that and respond hopefully. If no response in a month, then maybe she is homeless?

[GobbySadcase]

I've lost two cats to people like you.
Leave. The fuck. Alone.
Not yours.

[Katnisscupcake]

Definitely second taking it to a vet and finding out if there is a microchip.

My Mum has a pure white cat who liked to believe that she owned the street. Would wander up and down at a snails pace stopping all the traffic and spent her days in the fields catching (and eating - yuk) rabbits and mice.

One day a lady drove past, stopped and put her in her car because she looked sad!!!

She was gone for 9 months. It was only when the batty old witch lady took her to the vet for something and explained how she 'came across her' that the vet checked for a microchip and contacted my Mum. At the time the cat was about 13 years old.

She's back home now and at 17 years old, still going strong. My Mum was so lost without her.

Of course this doesn't relate to your situation, but cats will do ANYTHING for extra food or cuddles... Best to get it checked out.

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

I am a cat owner and think Gobby your attitude is just rude. Cats are wandering creatures...they have their own minds which is why they're so special. OP isn't locking it up! It's sociable and choosing to visit her.

I don't mind that my Siamese visits the elderly lady next door but one...he goes in through her open window and she LOVES him. She told me about his visits and you could tell how thrilled she was....she can't look after an animal full time but even if she could I wouldn't mind!

He tends to pop round to hers after his morning nap when I am busy. He sits on her lap and she gves him a sardine or two....he comes home...why would I mind ffs?

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

Gobby, that level of aggression isn't called for.

OP, I think the suggestion to put a note/your phone number in a collar round her neck is a good one. If there's a nice owner that will bring them out of the woodwork.

[SoupDragon]

This is nothing like the story on the "missing for two years" thread.

[SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter]

I didn't say it was. But it is an example of a much loved cat that went missing. It also demonstrates how distressing it is when that happens.

[RunningBear78]

Thanks folks, I might put a little note on her collar letting the owners know she is hanging out at our place in case they start wondering where she is during the day/evening. If that doesn't work I'll investigate the vets and a chip, but it could be quite epic trying to take her to the vets!

It isn't like she sleeps over with us, and she is clearly going home to be fed so it isn't like we've kidnapped her!

Gobby ...nah not even worth my time

[thecatneuterer]

Gobby ... not worth anyone's time.

The problem with all this advice to not feed, to leave well alone etc as cats like this generally have owners is that the many thousands of stray cats in the country will then go hungry. She may well have had a home but been thrown out, or got lost, and then not feeding her or giving her shelter is just unkind.

I would take her to a vet to be checked for a chip (most vets will do this for free) and the chances are the vet will also have a stock of paper collars that you can write a message on. Or you could get a normal safety collar with a barrel and write a little message on the paper in the barrel.

If you don't get any reply then I would presume she is stray.

[RunningBear78]

oh god, she has spent the whole evening sitting outside the back door meowing at us and peering at us through the window looking all sad. Feel evil for not letting her in, but trying to be strong for an evening.

I find her behaviour quite confusing. It doesn't seem like usual cat behaviour on the scrounge for food, when they usually trot off and entertain themselves if you aren't interested. Instead she hangs out in our garden meowing, sitting on the back door step just waiting for us to let her in. All she wants is cuddles, and to sleep on the door mat or kitchen floor. Very odd, poor puss ...or stupid us for being such softies when it comes to cats!

[cozietoesie]

I'd just let her in, Bear. There are potential problems with feeding her - if she's on a special diet for instance - but my first concern would always be to keep a cat safe and close to home. You can try to find her owner tomorrow - getting her inside and safe from foxes and cars would be enough for me tonight.

[thecatneuterer]

Of course you should take her in. Yes you should take steps to find out if she has an owner, as we've suggested above, but don't leave her outside distressed and hungry in the meantime.