Should we get another rescue cat to live with our current one?

[Lovethesea]

Our current rescue cat has been with us since May 2012. He is utterly bombproof with the kids (2.8 and 4), loves being fussed, hunts and kills outdoors, sleeps on our bed etc.

He's friends with local cats in the garden. One has been coming in and eating with him (see other thread on neighbours cat coming in!) and he is utterly unbothered. He was literally munching his wet food while neighbours cat was eating his dry food with their sides touching as they squashed up. He shares his kills outside, shares his summerhouse rain escape with them.

So ..... if the finances add up .... would another cat possibly enhance his life not ruin it? I know they are solitary by nature etc but he really is more doglike at times, hangs out watching cbeebies with the kids, watches them tantrumming 2 feet away without any concern. I know the chances of having another one that unneurotic are slim, but there are so many desperate for a home ...

What should we look for?

Ours is around 2 and a neutered tom. I am thinking we'd be best with another neutered tom (like the one he's happy sharing food with)? Another young but not kitten? Advice please experts!!

[cozietoesie]

I'd let it ride, Lovethesea. He's got to know next door's cat over a period with no pressure and that makes a difference. I have a feeling about that situation anyway. I suspect it may be resolvable fairly soon.

[Frenchfemme]

I agree with cozie - just bide your time!

[Lovethesea]

I spoke to the neighbour tonight and he said he wanted us to scare his cat off as he is concerned it won't come home to him anymore if it gets used to us. So I think that's resolved?

[cozietoesie]

Not so, in my view. I'd guess you're on a 'Watch this space'.

In any case, your situation is not straightforward. His cat and your boy are good mates without seeming rivalry which is not unheard of but is very lucky and not something you can guarantee with any two cats.

So what are you going to do? Start shutting your door and restrict your boy's movements? Because that's the only way you're going to stop next door's boy from coming in other than getting a microchip cat flap fitted. I suspect any attempts to aggress him off would last for a week if that. I'm not even sure (and here's that feeling) that your neighbour would mind that much if so.

Even if you do that, getting a new cat would be introducing a new element to the mix. Not only is there no guarantee that he or she would like your boy - but there's no guarantee that they would get on with the neighbour's cat either. It could be a free for all with 3 unhappy cats.

As I said - I'd let it ride for a few weeks until things are clearer. It's tempting to dive into a new cat but it doesn't always work out for the best.

[MarshmallowFarm]

I'd be careful about the gender issue. I have two neutered Toms who have never really got on - lots of hissing and spitting - but they both get on with our neutered female. They all arrived at different times and there is definitely lots of machoism and territorial behaviour between the boys. The first boy sprayed constantly when the second one arrived. The vet told us things would calm down but several years later they still aren't friends .

[Lovethesea]

So, not as simple as another neutered tom then

We don't plan on a cat flap as we don't need it for the cat and it at least stops him bringing wildlife in when we aren't there to rescue it or chase him outside with it (pigeons, wren, sparrow, blue tit, frog, shrew, mouse...am waiting on a small deer or pheasant this summer)

I know what you mean about how do we stop next doors coming in without water gunning it constantly, but I was surprised how adament next door man was about it all. He instantly said he didn't want it coming in as he was worried it wouldn't come to his anymore. No ifs, buts or maybes.

[cozietoesie]

Just look at things, Lovethesea.

You had him on a spot so his reaction was instinctively fast. But look at what that reaction was - not concern for the cat and what was best for it but concern that it wouldn't like him come to his house any more. Just as well this is the Litter Tray and not the Relationships Board, eh?

Also bear in mind what the last while has shown. From being a cat which went into its house during the day (because someone came home or was home) it's now out in all weathers, sleeping in your shed, and looking to come into your house for shelter and food. How many people on this board do you think would be going to work for weeks or more and not worrying about that at this time of year? At the least, putting in a cat flap or making some sort of arrangements such as an outside shelter of their own.

I think things may develop in that area so I'd bide your time. It is not though, as you said, quite so simple as just adding another neutered tom.

[Lovethesea]

Biding. Biding. Biding. DH also pointed out that his reaction was all about him and not about the cat or any concern about his comfort.

And he did say it was trying to go into his other neighbours house too (don't think they have any pets but not certain as there are tons of cats around here) so maybe it's lonely.

If it's risking contact with a 2.8 year old and a 4 year old it must be a tad desperate.

[Lovethesea]

DH said it came in tonight when I was out.