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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

Feeling Low, took my boy to be neutered, but he died during the op.

39 replies

RM76 · 05/02/2013 03:00

I know I'm being pathetic, but hubbies asleep, and a lovely lady on a feminist thread pointed me this way. (I got a bit crabby on another thread I posted,). I've no right to post here really, as I've never been before, but I know everyone is asleep right now, so It felt like I could write this to nobody.

Dear Nobody,
We took our boys to be neutered today, Solomon is 10 months, William is 9 months, sorry was. Crap.
I've lost animals before, so this isn't new to me. I mean people say they're only animals and it's not like I don't know how awful it is to lose people. I lost my Dad when I was 17, a great friend at 18, my best friend at 24 and my Father-in-law at 27, And a couple of years ago my mate killed himself (TMI, sorry!)
Just the same, even though he was 'just a cat', it's so cruddy!

We have a vet that stays open late, so my husband was meant to collect the cats after work, he came home minus William, and looking so upset, poor thing had to tell me as well! Solly wasn't at all well, although he seemed better just before he fell asleep.
It's just so shitty, and it seems so weird, this time last night I was cussing him because he wouldn't stop calling and now the house is just so quiet.

The vet says it's incredibly rare for cats to die like this, especially boys.
Our last cat sailed through, and he was always a sickly cat. William was such a stomping Moggie, we even left the op late, partly because they are indoor cats, so wouldn't get to any girl cats, and partly because we wanted to be extra sure they would be strong enough. We hand-reared Solomon and got a bit protective. After all that, they should have been fine, and then this, dead

I don't know, I just hate it, I know people think it's stupid to get so upset over a cat, but he was such a nice boy, we said he was always such a straightforward tomcat, nothing fancy, so we called him 'Just William' after the books. It doesn't seem fair he has no life when he only just started.

Anyway, sorry for prattling on, I hope it makes sense as I wrote it a bit quickly and I'm quite sleepy.
I'll probably regret posting this in the morning but, oh well, I don't know, first world problems ey? Pull yourself together woman!

OP posts:

Report

Twogoodreasons · 05/02/2013 03:05

Don't feel bad about posting this, why wouldn't you be sad? I am so sorry to hear about William. How is Soloman? Is he missing his companion too?

I'm up nursing a vomiting child, so feel free to tell me more about your lovely William.

RM76 · 05/02/2013 03:29

Thank you so much, didn't think anyone would be looking at MN right now, I'm so sorry about your little one, just a bug I hope.
I feel a bit weird about this sort of stuff, hubby suggested talking on here might make it easier, with it being anon and everything.
Solly seems okay now, I think he's still a bit fuzzy, but then he's always a bit daft. He's flat out right now.

OP posts:

Twogoodreasons · 05/02/2013 03:43

Yes, we have the sickness bug here!

You seem to feel as though being sad about losing William is something you need to hide. I'm not wanting to come across as an amateur psychologist here, but did you have to hide you grief previously? Your sadness is nothing to be ashamed of, it is quite normal and to be expected and any reasonable person would sympathise wholeheartedly.

Greenkit · 05/02/2013 03:50

I know or I think its not the done thing to give hugs on MN but have one (((((((RM76)))))))

It is bloody shitty, dont feel bad xx

I lost my beautiful dog just before christmas so I can sympathise

BBQWidow · 05/02/2013 03:57

You poor woman. It would be horrible to have to deal with this. Just a baby xx

HermioneHatesHoovering · 05/02/2013 04:01

Aww so sorry to hear this, RIP William

MrsHelsBels74 · 05/02/2013 04:03

Oh how awful. That must be horrific, you just don't expect there to be a problem with such a routine operation do you? Big, sympathetic hugs here.

RM76 · 05/02/2013 04:23

Thank you so much everyone, I really thought everyone would be in bed/busy with little ones, looking around MN, it seems pretty busy actually, I'm a bit embarrassed now

Thank you so much for the hugs, it's really appreciated.
greenkit so sorry about your dog, and at Christmas too!
twogoodreasons yes, it's a bit of a problem for me, that's why my hubby encouraged me to post, I can talk about factual stuff, or moral stuff (like on the feminist threads), but touchy, feely stuff doesn't come so naturally. Sorry to hear your little one/s are poorly too.

OP posts:

BookieMonster · 05/02/2013 04:27

I'm so sorry.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 05/02/2013 04:48

I'm so sorry to hear this, what a shock for you. Be gentle on yourself and try and do something self-indulgent today.

thelittlestkiwi · 05/02/2013 05:40

I'm so sorry to hear about William.

Of course you feel sad. Cats are special. We lost ours at the age of 13 and the whole family had to grieve even though she was old and unwell. So loosing a youngster so unexpectedly must be even harder.

Be kind to yourselves and remember you gave him a lovely life.

sashh · 05/02/2013 08:28

Sorry to hear this. Poor you and your DH.

desertgirl · 05/02/2013 09:04

Sorry to hear about William. It must be so hard, knowing you were doing the right thing but that, as you couldn't possibly have forseen, it led to his death.

Don't give yourself a hard time about grieving. It's a bit of a cliche already, but 'grief is the price we pay for love'....

susiedaisy · 05/02/2013 09:09

Ah so sorry to hear this sending you a hug.

HeathRobinson · 05/02/2013 09:17

Sorry to hear this. One of ours was pts recently. Perfectly healthy one minute, serious condition the next.

It's such a shock, isn't it. RIP William.

((Hugs))

lynniep · 05/02/2013 09:25

I'm really sorry to hear about your cat William. Pets are family members too - your grief is no less valid 'just' because they aren't human.
I lost my beloved Susie when I was 26. My step mum (quite rightly) decided she was not well enough to keep going. She was at least 22 years old and I was gutted: apart from my dad (now gone too) she was the only family member who'd been there my entire life. I don't think friends quite got it - I'd not lived at 'home' for a decade (where she resided) - but animals are friends too and you are allowed to feel their loss without embarrassment.

Corygal · 05/02/2013 09:26

I am so sorry for your loss. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, little William.

Hope Solly is ok today. Why not have the quietest day you can?

jollymary · 05/02/2013 09:30

How awful for you, much sympathy, no need to be embarrassed at all. RIP William. Hope Solomon is okay.

saycheeeeeese · 05/02/2013 09:33

I left my darling girl in to get her tail amputated 2 years ago, a straightforward op supposedly (sge gad broken it).

She died in the arms of the vet as she was regaining consciousness, I cried for months remember my last cuddle with her, she was so scared and I told her she would be ok.
They are never only just cats, they are members of the family and losing them is heart wrenching.

OP a big hug to you, I know what you're going through.

FamiliesShareGerms · 05/02/2013 09:34

Oh no, this is really sad I completely understand why you are upset OP. Hope Solomon is OK today

saycheeeeeese · 05/02/2013 09:34

My wee cat was only 2 yo :(

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 05/02/2013 09:36

This is why we have the Litter Tray and other pet topics - so that you can come here in times of grief and be understood, whereas posting on Chat or similar you may get the odd comment along the lines of "it's just a.....".

I have 2 cats and a dog, they are every bit a part of my family as my daughter and I are. I have grown up surrounded by animals and have grieved each one as they have passed, but always taken heart that while they were with my family they were given love, warmth, food and a very nice life.

Some people don't get as nice a life as some pets do.

So, his time with you was short and it was an awful way to lose him - my heart goes out to you - but you gave him a very happy life and should take that as a comfort.

Hope you got some sleep and take care ((hug))

fackinell · 05/02/2013 09:37

Oh I'm so so sorry. My little one was neutered last wk and I was terrified (after losing my other beloved boy in October.)

I can't even imagine how you are feeling but you really were trying to protect him from wandering miles and turf wars. They are a much more real risks for un-neutered Toms, than anaesthetic, usually.

You did all the right things and I just feel so sad for you.

RIP little William.

CremeEggThief · 05/02/2013 09:42

So sorry for your loss. R.I.P. William. Xxx

cozietoesie · 05/02/2013 09:57

So sorry, RM. They're not 'just cats' are they?

I hope Solly is perkier this morning.

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