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The doghouse

New dog owner thinks she might need to prove dh wrong!

19 replies

muddymary · 28/07/2014 15:15

DH and his family have always had dogs and for as long as we have been together it's been a big bone of contention between us (no pun intended). Except for a goldfish, I didn't have any pets and I wasn't particularly bothered. I was definitely not an 'animal person' and I'm ashamed to admit I reserved a bit of judgyness for those who loved their animals a bit too much. As a result, I know nothing at all about animals and have found myself having to do a lot of online research recently.

Anyway, after at least 5 years of arguments about whether or not we get a puppy, I finally relented and DH got a pup on the proviso that she was nothing to do with me, all dog related decisions and expenses are his 'area' ... Which worked fine for about 5 seconds until I fell completely and utterly in love with our gorgeous little staffy possibly a little bit more that I love DH I literally love taking her for little walks each day and watching her roll around in the grass. I even cried the other day when I read a story about a man doing a little bucket list for his dog before it died Blush.

Anyway my mat leave is due to end very soon and the thought of leaving our pup all day is breaking my heart (I even left a bbq early the other day because I didn't want her to be on her own too long - I am now one of the people I used to roll my eyes at). DH says it's fine, if dogs couldn't be left, then only retired and unemployed people would own dogs. He has years and years of dog ownership behind him and like I said earlier, I know nothing about dogs except for what I've read online and a lot of that is conflicting, but surely it's not right? Won't she get bored or distressed? If any of you have dogs/puppies who you have to leave during the day, can you please let me know what you do?
Thanks
PS - I'm obv concerned about leaving my actual child as well but he won't be stuck in the house on his own all day!

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tak1ngchances · 28/07/2014 15:18

It is very cruel to leave your dog alone all day. Your SH must surely realise that??
You need a dog walker to come every single day and take the dog out for 2 or 3 hours.

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SpicyPear · 28/07/2014 15:33

Yes it is extremely unfair to a dog to do that. They are social animals and it is no life for them at all to be left all day, alone and with no stimulation The fact that some people do it doesn't make it okay. These people are often the ones complaining that their dog is destructive or toilets in the house. Even if a dog is not showing obvious outward signs of distress, studies have shown elevated levels of cortisol (stress hormone) in dogs in many dogs that are left for long periods. It will be particularly distressing for a dog that is used to having company all day.

I am not retired or unemployed - what a ridiculous thing to say. I work freelance from home and if I worked long hours out of the home I would not have dogs.

How long are you out of the house and for how many days per week? You will need to arrange suitable care for her for example doggy daycare or a walker once or twice per day depending on the length of time she is being left.

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muddymary · 28/07/2014 15:50

I thought so, to be honest, but as with every disagreement we've had since we've got the pup, I haven't had a leg to stand on because I'm not used to having dogs/don't know anything about them etc etc. I've got a month before I go back to work and I've spent the past half hour or so researching local dog walkers/dog day care etc.

We'd be out of the house 8 hours a day and she's only 5 months old so I feel quite strongly about this and if it has to come out of my wage as opposed to being a 'household expense' then so be it.

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tak1ngchances · 28/07/2014 15:53

Good I am glad you agree! Stand your ground

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SpicyPear · 28/07/2014 15:54

Knowledge and understanding about dog behaviours and needs has come on light years in the past few years, let alone 20-30 years. A lot of people with "dog experience" that is outdated know much less than a dog novice that has done their current research. Do not accept being told your perspective is inferior.

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NatashaBee · 28/07/2014 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeanutPatty · 28/07/2014 16:10

When we got our pup I worked five mins away and I came home at lunchtime and MrPP used to pop in and out all day long so she wasn't left longer than a couple of hours. She was fine but it did impact on toilet training. I'd never get another pup unless I was home all day or unless I had dog daycare available. It's just not fair. Boredom can often lead to destructive traits emerging eg chewing!

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Timeisawastin · 29/07/2014 15:36

I wouldn't dream of leaving my dog for longer than half a working day. Either my OH or I come home at lunchtime every day, even if we only get the chance to let him out into the garden for 5 minutes. I am home before 4pm so he gets walked before work and before dinner. You do have to make some arrangements as 8 hours is far too long for a social animal.

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WilburIsSomePig · 30/07/2014 07:48

Mine is left for 4.5 hours a day and that's as long as I'd leave him tbh. He sleeps all morning when we're here so I think that's all he does when we're not but I wouldn't leave him any longer.

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Kitsmummy · 30/07/2014 08:38

She's only a puppy so won't need a big walk anyway. You may be able to find a dog walker who can take her for a half hour walk each day (my sister dog walks and does one hour for 10 or half hour for 7 to give you an idea of prices).

It would be wrong to leave her for so long (is it 5 days per week?) especially as she's been used to having you full time since you got her.

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mzzzf · 30/07/2014 08:39

For a 5 month old pup an 8 hour day (plus commute?) is a loooong time!
Deffo look into doggy daycare/home boarding or a dog walker.

We have two dogs and they rarely get left for longer than 5 hrs, say if we go out, but they have each other, lots of toys and access to the garden which I think is paramount to them being happy with being left.

My DH takes the dogs to work most days - any chance you can do that?

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SpicyPear · 30/07/2014 10:03

Just to clarify, dog walkers don't just walk. For young dogs they can do 20 mins walk then the rest of the hour as play and company. Some good ones will offer a bit of clicker training to keep her stimulated.

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muddymary · 31/07/2014 13:12

Hi all thanks for all of the advice - I've arranged meetings with a few local dog walkers to see what they can do for us.

It sounds strange but having a dog has thrown up a lot more disagreements between dh and I than I expected. I wanted to go to dog training classes but it's out of budget and dh feels there's no point as he already knows what he's doing - so I feel I've had to educate myself very quickly which is difficult as there's an awful lot of conflicting advice online!

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ceres · 31/07/2014 14:48

well done muddy.

your dh clearly knows absolutely nothing about responsible dog ownership and he very obviously doesn't know what he is doing.

your dog is lucky to have you. staffies are a fabulous breed!

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EvenBetter · 31/07/2014 16:19

You should join the Facebook group called Dog Training Advice and Support, it's admin is modern, positive dog trainers and there are tonnes of files at the top to read through. 'Dominance' has been entirely discredited and is simply untrue for dogs, choke chains are now thankfully a no-no, collars with leads attached can damage dogs throats and spines.

Positive, reward based teaching is the most successful way of teaching your dog the many stupid (in their eyes) hings we ask of them, so ignore anything you read online that mentions 'packs', 'alphas' and all that shit.
Just keep her safe and happy and cuddle her at every opportunity! Before you know it she'll have a wee grey face and will slow down, we only get them for a very short time, so cherish them!
And don't feed Bakers!

I always love hearing about someone converting to being a full on dog lover! Welcome!

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muddymary · 01/08/2014 12:09

Thanks for that tip Even Better I'll def join that Facebook group. We've already had the choker chain argument but as it's me that walks her, it was an easy one to win because I just don't use it and she's already getting quite good on a lead on a good day, with absolutely no distractions, when she thinks I have treats in my pocket

I've surprised myself to be honest, I've been so against getting a dog for so long and now I don't know what I was thinking. Don't get me wrong she's quite hard work at the moment but she's so mischievous and loving it's impossible not to love her!

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diddl · 02/08/2014 15:17

Ideas & advice changes, but has it ever been OK to leave a dog all day?

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PeanutPatty · 02/08/2014 19:09

The FB group is brilliant. Really really good.

Awesome book called Life Skills for Puppies in Amazon. Get it.

Definitely go training. If only for the socialisation side of it.

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lljkk · 02/08/2014 19:17

Just because your DH has had dogs a lot doesn't mean he knows everything. My mother had dogs all her life; but there was always an adult at home all day until the next to last dog. Which was a huge & young Alsatian who she left alone all day while out at work. The dog chewed the door jams off. My mother couldn't understand why. Hmm

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