Your worst clean up operation

[ChickensHaveNoLips]

Jasper went bog diving this morning. He is now covered in hundreds of tiny pea like burrs. They are bloody everywhere. I've so far spent thirty minutes picking them out of his ear hair, and I haven't started on the rest of him yet. What's the worst clean up operation your hound has put you through?

[RedwingS]

Ugh. I hate those things. I've never had to get more than a couple out of my dogs' fur though. I hope Jasper is patient!!

The worst clean-ups are the smelly ones. Like when Dog2 has rolled around in something dead. I think the worst was when he rolled around in my neighbour's compost pile and came out with smelly brown liquid goo all over him.

[ChickensHaveNoLips]

Ewwwwww! I have yet to have the 'stench roll' to contend with

The burrs are an absolute PITA. I groomed his ears, and he nibbled them out of his leg flags. Think nitty gritty type chuntering followed by a spit. I think we have most of them.

[FundusCrispyPancake]

My lovely terrier rolled in something stinking, yellow and liquid. No idea if it was poo or vomit, animal or human. Really, really grim.

I threw her in the duck pond and gave her a good dunking (she will not voluntarily get wet), I think the men fishing thought I was trying to drown her was tempted !

People often stop me and comment on how cute my dog is, not on that day!

[ChickensHaveNoLips]

Oh. My. God. LemarchandsBox

[FundusCrispyPancake]

My friend's dog discovered a couple shagging in a park, the next day the dog shat a condom!

Bleurggh!

[BetterOnACamel]

Hmm ---major TMI alert, but I think you've asked for it, so here goes:

When we got our little pup she was really ill, but we weren't told about it - we are a heck of a lot better informed now!

She arrived and couldn't digest her food, her insides having been completely devastated by what I have concluded was a bad case of worms (vet was useless, told us lost cause, would die). So for the first few month she was just oozing mucus, blood and dribbly poo everywhere (in addition to suffering horribly no doubt. Hand down the WORST smell I have ever come across in my life!

Very long arduous story short - she got better with lots of loving care - she is a boing-boing-bouncy terrier now and eats everything and will only stink up the place when she's decided to put on her equivalent of Chanel No.5 aka. fox poo.

[BetterOnACamel]

Erk! and horror! @ FundusCrispyPancake

[ExitPursuedByABear]

My Spaniel rolled in a patch of sand on a beach that had clearly had a dead seal or something on it previously. He absolutely stank. We were staying in a friend's caravan and he already had grease on his coat from chasing rabbits under the caravan.

I had to shampoo him in fairy liquid then take him to the sea to get rinsed off.

[doggiemumma]

The worse clean up for me was when my rottie got stuck in the bathroom when we were out visiting relatives and a bit longer than we anticipated. He got himself into a state and basically redecorated the bathroom (and himself) with diarroeah, it was EVERYWHERE!!! I had to strip down to bra and pants, clean the bathroom, bath the dog, clean the bath and then bath myself - it was awful!

The very same thing happened to my DP with another rottie we had when i gave birth to DD. We had arranged for a friend to let dog out during day as i was to be induced, but i went into labour in the night and we left about 3am, friend did not visit as DD was born at 9am - DP went home to get stuff about 12 ish and had exactly the same scenario to deal with!!!

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

ExitPursued - ddog2 actually found a dead seal - well, half a dead seal, to be entirely accurate - on the beach near Stevenston. Her first instinct was to try to bring it with her, but when she couldn't get it out of the rocks it was stuck in, she decided to roll in it. She stunk so badly that even the other dog (a Labrador, so clearly a dog of vile and unrefined tastes) wouldn't sit anywhere near her.

Usually our spoilt pair get nice warm showers in our en suite (partly because it is easier to wash them in an enclosed shower, where they can't escape), but this time she smelled so awful that she has to be shampooed in the garden and rinsed with the cold hose - twice - before she was let back indoors - and even then she still needed another shower.

Then there was the Terrible Night. The dogs came upstairs for a cuddle when dh and I went to bed. Ddog1 has a hormone imbalance that makes her wee very dilute, and she has the odd accident - and had one that night, which I only discovered when dh took them down to their beds, and I stretched out my feet- into a warm, wet patch. So we stripped the bed, scrubbed the mattress and turned it over -unfortunately we knocked over a big glass of black currant squash -onto the cream carpet.

So dh spent ages using the crevice tool to vacuum all of that out of the carpet, whilst I found a clean duvet and bed linen, and sorted the bed out. Then, at 1.30am, we finally went to sleep.

The next morning, bright and early, ds2 sent ddog2 into my room, whereupon she got up onto the bed, snuggled down under my arm, and threw up epically, all over my arm, the bed and the corner of dh's pillow. So I had to leap up, scrape second hand dog food of myself, the bed and the bedding, and then spent most of the day washing and ironing bedding, so we'd have sheets and duvet for that night!

[TeacakeTilly]

These have made me a lot... But also a bit as we're getting our first dog next week!!

[ExitPursuedByABear]

What's a crevice tool

[TeacakeTilly]

A posh term for a Hoover nozzle

[HoneyDragonWearingLederhosen]

arse tumour. daily draining. we don't talk about it.

[sallysparrow157]

The bloke once accidentally got the dog drunk... she is a fan of real ale it seems so he poured a little out on a plate for her, she developed a taste for it and manged to drink rather more than was intended from his glass when he wasn't looking... i wasn't home but apparently walking her to bed was a sight to behold - she toppled over a few times.... she was rather sick overnight and as I did the morning run I had to clean up puke and deal with the poor hungover hound!

[BettySuarez]

Being woken up at 3 am to find that our puppy had sprayed diahorrea through the bars of his crate in a complete 360 around the kitchen.

I think I stood there for at least ten minutes trying to make sense of it all and planning my approach

Thank %23%^* for crocs

[danebury]

ohmigod betty, I'm sort of shuddering with laughter and empathy!

Our Jack Russell will roll in anything smelly; he seems to source them especially. Gifted. He once stole a box of chocolates when tethered in my husband's office during a presentation (dh is secretary at local yacht club. This was after a 6 mile walk AND a run om the beach - he was supposed to be knackered. And the chocs were on dh's desk.) I was up all night with him, catching his big, chocolate coloured pools of vomit.

He is a total thief and we've had to train ourselves to turn the kitchen bin to the wall, close doors carefully, push anything left out on the counter about a foot away from the edge. He once also ate ten falafel that I'd made to take into work - dog vomit that smelt of coriander and garlic? Yum.