The Baby Bomb

[cocolocopoco]

Did anyone else catch this?

I was stunned by how rude Pete was to Madi at the restaurant.

[JazzAnnNonMouse]

I'm iplayering it now whilst dd has a nap!
It's annoying me how they're concentrating on the failings and the difficulties of young parents.
It's almost as if they're saying 'this is shit look at all the bad bits don't do it'.

Parenthood can be hard and stressful but not just when you're in your early 20's. it's not all bad and it's not all bad just for young parents.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it as I'm 22 and people always assume my family wasn't planned/life's difficult ad it's not what I'd have chosen when actually yes it can be hard work but their assumptions are in general bullshit.

You never see a programme looking down at older parents.

Also they're living there for 10 weeks and then what? They get chucked out?

[cocolocopoco]

Right...I'd be interested to see where they actually live irl. Those flats would be pretty expensive, I'm guessing...

[TigOldBitties]

Yeah obviously can't imagine they would be in those flats if it wasn't for the tv show, but then I suppose that's just been done so they can all be close together. Doubt you would find an older more run down block with all those vacancies next to each other.

The youngest girl with the red hair was such a bad example and I did think they'd picked her for good tv. Did it say she's 16 and her boyfriend 22? She did live up to such a teen stereotype and the issue with the boyfriend working is only something I think would occur to such a kid.

Otherwise, I don't think they're showing issues specific for young parents more issues in general, although it could come across that way because they're all young, I'd assume the show is aimed at BBC3 audience so they wouldn't be interested in those in their mid thirties.

[cocolocopoco]

It did seem to be about parenthood in general rather than teen parenthood...lots of the issues could apply to anyone, really.

The young one with the red hair did seem a bit 'pie in the sky' about it all....'we never argue', 'I always wanted to be a young mum', 'let's get engaged', 'do you have to go to work' etc...I think reality will hit her soon. I also thought the 16-22 aged gap was a bit much but trying not to judge as they do seem to care about each other...hope nothing illegal went on though.

I was just astounded by how rude Pete was to Madi (who, as an aside, has fantastic hair)...and then the rest of them decided that it was her fault?! Odd, it seems women get the blame whatever they do, really

[TigOldBitties]

Maddi does have lovely hair, I was very jealous. Although I thought she came across as the most unbearable misery, especially at the dinner. She was doing all that passive aggressive "we should be on our way home" and getting worked up over them asking whats wrong. I think she should have said I want go home now and gone or stayed and accepted that she had made that choice. I suppose I agreed with his comments. She could express her irritation/anger/disappointment at Pete's failure to come with her later when they were alone instead of making it awkward for everyone. Sitting their being miserable saying you aren't enjoying yourself at a small meal like that is such bad manners.

I really empathise with Charlotte, I think she isn't very tactful but I feel she makes fair points. The young on is pie in the sky about it and I see in the next episode she has a reality check. 16 is so young, when I was 19 with a baby I had a pregnant acquaintance who was 16 and even then the difference was massive. Obviously at 16 you are capable of being a good parent but I don't think she's got the maturity yet, the way she went on about 'priorities' was just brutal and so naive. She's lucky he's so patient with her, I can't imagine my DH or me reacting so well to being told we don't prioritise our child or that child doesn't know us because we are working to support the family. Based on the ages I think she may have been 15 or just 16 when they got together but he does seem very nice.

[JazzAnnNonMouse]

I just don't get why if they want to look at parenting and the difficulties there are along the way why do they always get a group of young people or stereotypical 'chavs' etc.
friction on tv I suppose but it does annoy me.

[Daisyflower76]

I thought their problems are pretty much like anyone's with a new baby. Of course the bbc are going to use young families-it's much more bbc3's demographic!! They are not interested in us over 25's! What did you think of the man health visitor?

[mooseh]

you are of course assuming that there were no outside circumstances coughcrewhoursbehindschedulecough and how these shows are cut to make people look bad.. ;)

[Daisyflower76]

Do you think?

[TigOldBitties]

I was really about the way it was filmed and edited, seemed more like a TOWIE episode than a documentary or reality show.

Also it was quite obvious at times they had been given topics to discuss, that being said I still didn't like the opinions of a few of them.

[girliefriend]

I have just watched on iplayer and was quite at the 16yo old. Her poor fella was getting so much grief for just going to work!!

Tbh though I thought all the woman were quite hard on their partners, I thought Maddi was being a pita at the bday dinner, surely they could have found a babysitter for a few hours.

The other one who wanted to go back to work I thought perhaps had pnd as she didn't seem to have bonded with her baby at all she seemed really resentful of him and her partner.

It does seem to be a bit weird show to volunteer to be on and the way it was filmed reminded me a bit of the only way is Essex, like some of the conversations seemed to have been set up iykwim?

I was in a similar situation to the single mum and can't help thinking that in some ways its eaiser managing it on your own than constantly competing with a partner on the who does what, who is the most tired, changed the most nappies etc etc.

[mooseh]

It's funny when you see people on the TV and make judgements about things, without really being aware of the circumstances beyond what is being shown (not to mention the way things get cut to make things look different to how they actually happen).

There are some nice little clips on the show's minisite, it seems.

[jelepomme]

I was exactly like the women on this programme in the first few weeks/months. I wish I'd watched it before having my son.I remember putting my lovely husband down as he was 'never with our baby' - he stayed home while I went to work. I can't believe how selfish I was at that time. I just couldn't see beyond the night feeds, counting the hours I'd been awake, the constabt breastfeeding.

I think the programme highlights how massively your life changes. You can't see a way out. That may be why Charlotte is clinging on to a totally impracticle job, and Maddi is so tetchy. Shannon will calm down. She will grow up and her partner will help her get there (I hope).

[Sloeberry]

At the end of the day they must got something right because we have all been motivated enough to come on here and talk about it! I think there was some good (young parents breast feeding) but also plenty of bad, arguing in front of baby, bickering like kids (not surprising given that is what they are!) amongst a ton if other stuff.
Sounds like there is someone passing comments who is not telling the whole story COUGHmoosehCOUGH. Do you know more than you are letting on? As for clips most of us are to busy looking after the rug rats to spend all day watching extra tripe!

When we had our first we were always at each other throats. DH only had to breath too loud and wanted to stab him! But we at least had the good sense to have our barnies (I mean emotionally charged discussions) away from baby! IMO they are, what they young kids who don't have much of an idea about the real world. I would have been the same at 17 or 18.

[pita13]

If I were Madi and came across this googling the show, I would say thank you for the nice comments about the hair. You can't even see the baby sick.

Secondly, I would remind people that the show has a crew to cut and edit the footage. This allows them to take comments out of context. If I were Madi, I would know Pete very well (obviously) and would clarify that any negative comments were made due to the trying circumstances.

Also, I wonder if anybody would feel differently (again, if I were Madi) if they knew that they were hours late to film that meal and the day after the meal she would be boarding an early train to visit family with Finn (which cast and crew knew).

As for babysitters during...good luck with that for a 4 month exclusively breastfed baby and no relatives in the immediate vicinity. Why should Finn have to have a babysitter so his parents can celebrate the birthday of a girl they barely knew at the time? Maybe they were pushed into situations instead of being able to enjoy their new son and parenthood.

The show could have been outlined as a more positive informative show, hence participation. Upon the realisation that it was something entirely different, there may be understandable frustrations.

If I were Madi, I would urge people to take the show with a pinch of salt and remind them that contributors may see their comments.

This is only if I were Madi, of course...

[PeoniesPlease]

Well if I were saying something to Madi, I would say that I thought she was doing a lovely job with her little boy.

(And she does have fab hair!)

[Thingiebob]

I thought I would hate the show but found myself glued to it this afternoon on iplayer.

All the couples are doing fantastically well. I was a bloody zombie for the first six weeks. I could barely get myself dressed let alone be up and about and made up for the cameras. Although to be honest, with hindsight, there is no way I would participate in a tv show when I have just had a newborn!

I was interested to see that all of them were breastfeeding/breastfed at one point when there does seem to be this prevailing notion that younger mums always bottlefeed.

I wonder if Charlotte had really thought through the whole air-hostess job and the logistics or if it was just her kicking out and trying to assert herself.

The young girl who can't seem to understand why her partner needs to work. Perhaps she doesn't have much concept of money? As for her attitudes towards 'older mums'... I was ancient when I had my first. 33!

I also felt the show was edited in such a way as to portray the women in an unfavourable light. Of course they were grumpy, of course they were stressed. They are operating on v little sleep and learning how to be a parent. No need to continually show this all the way through. Hopefully there will be some more positive footage later on in the series.

And FWIW, re: Madi - there would have been no-one available to babysit my baby for a few hours when she was a few months old. I also would have been reluctant to leave her with anyone at that point as well, and that is also absolutely understandable and fine.

[PeoniesPlease]

(And I would also say to Madi that Mumsnet can be a fantastic source of support for parents of all ages. Don't just judge it by this thread. There are some boards which offer advice and support to parents of babies who do not sleep for example.)

[Thingiebob]

Yes I think I would have lost part of my mind during the first year if I hadn't discovered Mumsnet!

[CurlyKiwiControl]

I would say to madi if she came across this googling the show I thought she was ace :) and the nicest girl there. I'm a young mum too, and I wish I had met someone like you to be friends with.

[girliefriend]

sorry Madi

[mooseh]

;)

I felt the show was unreasonable in portraying the women in a bad light. Of course it got across some good points in doing so - tiredness, grouchy grumpiness, but you can tell some of the situations were engineered to exploit that, or there was more going on than what you were seeing.

I just find watching it back how hypocritical everyone is without realising it (bar the single mum, of course, who seemed lovely the few times she appeared). I know we all judge people on TV or in the street (or even within our social circles), but fail to realise how similar we are. I think Shannon was a great example of this - openly criticising the others, only to do exactly the same herself. God knows I am awful for it too with certain things.

It will be interesting to see the second episode, hopefully it will be more positive. I don't hold out all that much hope though. I heard at one point one of the people in it had to talk about the same subject in 8 different scenes.. if that's true then either we are going to get an awful lot of the same thing, or a bit of nasty cherry picking with the cuts.

[pita13]

PeoniesPlease - I think Peonies are Madi's favourite flower so she would think you have impeccable taste ;P I think a big deal was made out of Finn being unsettled (due to new environment perhaps?) and PND speculation because of very little conflict in their family. Happy families don't make for good TV. I hear Finn sleeps very well since returning home :)

Thingiebob - I hope there is some positive footage too, as I believe it wasn't all doom and gloom. All the parents doted on their beautiful babies.

CurlyKiwiControl - I'm sure Madi would blush and say that she started a blog if you wanted to check it out...finnsforest.wordpress.com/ and that she loves meeting like minded mums, so if you're not far away, coffee is part of her balanced diet (a mug in each hand)

To girliefriend she would say, don't apologise. If she had been on the other end she would've thought the same. Madi enjoyed these shows when pregnant (especially Cherry Healey) but I think since filming she knows how contrived they are :(

Mooseh, Madi would say you were well informed. The show focuses on the negatives of early parenthood. It would be interesting to see how they are all getting on now. Though, I've heard the majority of the contributors are very disappointed with the series, so I doubt they'll be a follow up.

[jelepomme]

Well, the show touched a nerve for me, so I am pleased the young people had the guts to take part as I feel it does highlight just how difficult it can be for those first few months. Like I said, wish I'd seen it before ttc, might have opened my eyes a bit.

Re Madi, I can remember my family engineering occasions when my son was 2 weeks old. I flew off the handle at them, because I couldn't cope with a massive family reunion two weeks post partum, cheers mil so can't imagine what that would be like with the added pressure of a film crew.

I really think the young people come across as doing very well, and that the worst bits have been pulled out for us to view. That wouldn't be fair on any of us.

[pita13]

*... doubt "there will" be a follow up. D-oh!

Madi has probably read comments on reviews of the show, and will probably be very disappointed that people deem all the people on the show to be chavs on benefits. Pete's a hard working graduate and Madi is currently on maternity leave. Meaning her and Pete share all bills and living expenses, contrary to Shannon and Charlotte's conversation would have people think.

I don't believe that Madi has read an accurate statement on how Pete wooed her and she's probably regretting ever taking part in the series. All that being said, I know that Madi, Pete and Finn are a very happy loving little family, despite whatever else this series may try to portray.