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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Am I unreasonable?

15 replies

noddyholder · 28/04/2010 20:02

My ds is 16 and is into film making.he has had several cameras over the years and tbh doesn't look after anything.He loses or trashes most things and this has been a huge bone of contention over the years.he has lost about 5 mobile phones and broken cameras lenses etc. We came into a bit of money recently(not a big inheritance just a few thousand)and we bought him an HD camera for college which starts sept.To be fair he still has it but tonight he has come home without it and said he has lent it to someone at school for the w/end and dp has flipped out because it cost 1k and his track record with stuff is terrible.I told him to go to his friends and get it and he is refusing saying it is his and if anything happens to it he will take it on but we bought it!!!!!

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Hassled · 28/04/2010 20:07

You did buy it, but then you gave it to him. So it's his and tough as it must feel, I think you have to let him win this one. If the camera goes missing/gets broken, he will know this is all his own fault.

I do feel your pain - my DS1 is bloody hopeless with stuff. And it's infuriating.

scurryfunge · 28/04/2010 20:09

I'd be annoyed but you'll have to learn to trust him....if you've bought him an expensive camera with his track record then the messgae he is getting is that possessions are not that precious.

noddyholder · 28/04/2010 20:13

Well I do agree to a point but he needed it for a project to get into college and we had a serious talk about looking after it etc.The first week he had it he bought a cheap lens which didn't fit it and glued it to it with superglueso we have already had one huge barney about it and now this.I think he should have at least told us he was lending it to someone re insurance etc but he just took it and we don't know this other bot from adam!

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noddyholder · 28/04/2010 20:14

boy

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scurryfunge · 28/04/2010 20:18

I'd be tempted to take him straight round to pick it up again then.

(am shaking my head at the superglue incident...what was he thinking?)

noddyholder · 28/04/2010 20:24

I know and then decided it didn't 'look' right so tried to get it off and snapped it!Nightmare he is in his room saying the boy has gone out and he can't get it tonight.

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scoutliam · 28/04/2010 20:27

I'd leave him to it, it was given to him, let him lose it if he must but don't replace it.

CarGirl · 28/04/2010 20:27

When I bought my dd a drum kit err about £700 in total I said it was hers if she carried on playing until she was 16, if she didn't then it was still mine to sell.

LaurieFairyCake · 28/04/2010 20:29

I think you're mad to be buying him such expensive stuff when he clearly doesn't respect it (or you)and doesn't realise the value of things.

I suggest you just say calmly that if anything happens to it you won't be replacing it and any further equipment has to be funded by him from part-time work/allowance etc.

Superglue i think that's appalling

noddyholder · 28/04/2010 20:41

I know you are all right!We talked about it at length and tbh he is not really mature enough although is pretty convincing when he wants something.He knows he will never get another thing unless he works for it,His birthday is saturday and he went on and on about blackberrys and iphones and he has been told in no uncertain terms that he is taking the p and if he wants one he can save.

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noddyholder · 28/04/2010 21:41

bump

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ageing5yearseachyear · 28/04/2010 23:04

time to draw a huge black line under this?

when/if camera comes back- take it and lock it up. If he needs it for college( and I am sorry but it must be possible to do the work without a £1000 camera else what would everyone else do) hand it to him for specific purposes.

buy him nothing else- out of money earmarked for him or otherwise. my dd has a track record of losing phones ( she has a very poor working memory) whether she has bought the, or othewise. We have an agreement that she only has a £20 max pay as you go to mitigate the risk. She is only 12 though.

Macforme · 03/05/2010 19:46

Ugh... I can empathise.. my DS (17) loses/breaks everything..(camera, ipod, numerous phones) and I suspect sold his bike a while ago.. seems to place little value on his things.

In the end we got fed up ..he has a brick for a phone because I refuse to pay for a better one (he has a p/t job so could buy his own but won't) and he wears his clothes til they are rags as he rips/ trashes his clothes too and I got fed up of replacing things.

on the camera lens tho.. OMG I'd have torn him limb from limb I think.
Has he got it back yet? I'd defo lock it away for a while at least...

analytic · 20/05/2010 23:59

has it come back?
did he, in fact, sell it?

LollipopViolet · 21/05/2010 17:10

I'm sorry, I'm a UNIVERSITY film student and I don't own a £1000 camera! You can get the necessary results from a consumer HD camera for about £500. The college should have the kit they need. Our uni cameras are £5000 and my consumer camera was able to produce stuff that I've used in conjunction with it and it was fine (£450 HD Canon camera). And fyi, I didn't have to produce any work for my college interview, they knew we'd be starting from scratch with our knowledge, but any footage was a bonus.

Sorry for mini rant but to me that's a little OTT for a 16 yo.

ANYWAY, the rules with my camera is, it doesn't go anywhere I'm not. Including to friends. I strongly suggest implementing this.

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