Easily led DD and older boy...

[brummiemummie]

DD is 14yo and in Year 9; has mild learning difficulties and as a result is very trusting of everybody & very easily persuaded that doing something that she knows is wrong is actually ok after all.

I have become increasingly worried over the last couple of weeks about her friendship with an older lad (will call him "B") - think he is in Year 11 so is at least 18 months older than her. She knows him because her best friend is going out with his friend, and so often when DD and her friends are going out somewhere at a weekend, this friend's boyfriend and his friend B will come along too.

DD went over to this friend's house yesterday after school (she told me "to do a homework project together" ) and when I logged into Facebook, photos came up in my photostream of DD, her friend and the two boys (I am fairly sure from last night as they were uploaded today and I don't know when else they would have been taken). In some of them they look very ?cosy?, iykwim. I am not only pissed off that she has seemingly lied to me about her reasons for going over to this friend?s house, but also worried about her relationship with this boy. I just don?t think she knows what she might be getting herself into with a 16yo lad.

I just don?t know what to do! Any suggestions gratefully received

[marmitetoastie]

Were the other girl's parents at home? Could you agree some boundaries with them regarding the two girls? Have you spoken to her friend about your daughter's safety and naivity?

Perhaps a bit more sex ed for her and some info on protecting herself in awkward situations. Frank chats about how to say stop. She will face this increasingly from now on, and it's nice for her to have a bf (whether it's him specifically you're worried about - boys in general should be enough of a worry).

I think the boys should be made aware that the girls are young too. They have a responsibility if they are hanging out with much younger girls. Have you spoken to him. Try to be friendly but firm as if you alienate him she'll hide it more from you in the future.

She might not have lied about homework, she might just not have mentioned other people would also be there. Don't jump on her because you're worried, it will only make it worse. Give her credit for being sensible etc and take some reasonable steps to ensure her safety.

I have a niece who is autistic and very socially naive and she's done fine through the boy thang. I really worried for her in the past but she's 18 and doing well. She has bfs and falls in love a lot on facebook, but nothing bad has happened to her.

Best of luck with it.

[sdr]

We have some "rules" regarding DD15 going over to other people's houses where there will also be boys. No going up into bedrooms and parents have to be home. She seems to find it easier having it all quite black and white at her age.