What sort of shoes and coat does your 12/13 yr old dd wear to school ?

[MrsMorgan]

Because I am about to lose the plot with dd1.

I am not unreasonable and I do understand the pressures of being fashionable at secondary school but dd is driving me nuts. In Nov when it started to get cold, dd1 moaned that she was freezing all of the time and so I took her and bought a new coat from Tammy Girl. She chose it, and it cost £38, more than I would normally spend on a coat for myself, but it was nice and thick and smart.

Fast forward to now, and she is refusing to wear it to school at all and just goes in her blazer. She said it's not cold.

When she statred in Sept, I let her choose whatever shoes she wanted (within reason) and she picked a plain black pair or ballet pump style shoes from Asda. I knew they'd not last long, but I thought I could hunt for a more robust pair whilst she wore them out.
They went in the bin just before xmas, and now she is wearing her plain black lace up pumps (that were all the rage a while ago for some reason) and is refusing to wear anything else.
I bought her these today and she has tld me to send them back, but the bloody pumps she is wearing are dirty and falling apart.

I tried getting a pair almost identical to the shoes she had in Sept and surprise surprise she doesn't like those either now.

What does everyone else do ? Do you make them wear a coat and decent shoes ??

[EccentricaGallumbits]

they don't wear coats at all. none of them. brrrr.

shoes - DD1 has some nice ones - plaain, flat with a bar over the top. Brantano i think.

DD2 has canvas lace up pumps. that's all that were acceptable to her. i don't care. as long as she puts on her sodding shoes and actually goes to school in the mornings.

they drive me nuts because they both look unkempt and cold but that appears to be the look they are aiming for like all their mates)

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

DD aged 12 nearly 13 does not wear a coat because that would be sensible...

She wears her blazer (plus gloves and a scarf if it is fffrrreeezzziiinnnggg.)

She does have a coat and cagoule but would rather die than wear them...

On the shoe front she wears a clarks pair which actually are virtually identical to those kangaroos in your linky. Her school uniform requirements stipulate that shoes must be polishable.

My friend's DD just turned 16 wears those black type plimmies or plain black converse shoes, but always complains that her legs ache.

Bloody fashion.

When I was their age I wanted 'wedgies' but they were not to be.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Don't waste your money on a coat. Teenagers physically do not feel the cold.

Re the shoes - I have wasted money on 'nice' shoes before, and dd wears crappy lace up things.

Don't fret. Just let her carry on. She won't freeze and it doesn't matter that she looks a bit scruffy.

[MrsMorgan]

I didn't think dd's school allowed the plimsoles either but they haven't said a word.

Originally she only statred wearing them because her others fell apart. She even wore them during the snow despite me offering her a pair of my plain black boots.

I asked her what sort of shoe she wants then, and she said 'the pumps are fine, i am not wearing anything else'

ARGH

In my day you had a pair of shoes from the stall in the market and were grateful lol

[BrigitBigKnickers]

Sounds JUST like my DD. I bought her a pair of shoes last summer. She chose them/ loved them etc. After two weeks she went back to wearing the old pair saying she didn't like the noise they made.

In the Christmas holidays I bought her another pair of school shoes saying that if she didn't wear them I would not be buying her another pair- she would have to buy them herself.

She wore them for three days then started wearing this cheap plastic pair she had bought to go with her Christmas day dress. They are now falling apart as she wore them in the snow and rain.

Not buying her any more shoes.

Have had very similar problems with coats- refuses to wear them even in the snow we have had recently.

Stupid girl!

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

Though we may never admit it to them, perhaps we were the same?

[MrsMorgan]

I hate her looking scruffy though. I feel it reflects badly on me lol

[MrsMorgan]

I was an angel as a teen OnthePiste. Certainly never got caught changing from my party shoes into my sensible shoes on the way home from school, ever

[MrsMorgan]

So, when these pumps finally sucumb to their death, what do I do then ?? The only thing that she dd will accept is another pair of pumps.

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

Another pair of pumps from that little boutique Le Primarché perhaps?!

[MrsMorgan]

Ahem, I will have you know, that they were from Barratts lol, Primark had sold out

[TheFirstLady]

DD (Yr8) does wear a coat when it's really cold, but I don't make her, because you are on a hiding to nothing with that one. We had the same shoe thing, her first pair of shoes this year fell to bits before Christmas and she now has a pair similar to the ones in your link. The school is extremely strict about shoes so she doesn't have much option. Parental opinion doesn't count for much I'm afraid, it's all down to what the school enforces. If it were me I would bin lose the pumps so she has no option but to wear the others. And don't bother fighting the coat battle, at her age if she wants to freeze let her.

[Hardys]

no coat and flat black pump thingys like those ballerina type shoes.

[MrsMorgan]

Oh well at least your dd's are all the same. That makes me feel a bit better lol.

It could have been worse actually. She could have liked the shoes, and then realised that I have bought 10yr old dd2 exactly the same pair.

I have an interview tomorrow, and if I get the job I might keep the shoes to wear for work. Will only be cleaning hotel rooms and the shoes seemed very comfy so seems a shame not to use them.

[TequilaMockinBird]

No coat for my DD either (12). Even though I bought her a lovely Bench coat last September, it lasted about 2 months before it was 'warm enough to not wear a coat'

Shoes - she insists on wearing black lace up plimsoles from Primark. They're about £4 a pair and fall to bits about once a month so she spends half of her life standing in Primark queues to buy a new pair

The lovely leather shoes I wanted to get her were 'not fashionable' apparantly and she 'wouldnt be seen dead in them'! So, plimmies it is....

You are not alone OP and, I fear, things will only get worse for us before they get better!

[PatTheHammer]

Ruddy hell, where do your lot go to school? Where I work we can't get the sodding year 8 and 9 kids to take their coats OFF!!!

Shoes wise they all wear pumps or those fake Ugg things in black, which are actually banned but doesn't stop them trying.

Not looking forward to this malarky when DD gets there in about 9 years time

[iwastooearlytobeayummymummy]

I just don' t get this black dap* thing at all.They are really ugly and tatty looking but both dd2(18) and dd3 (13) love them.
thank goodness for Primark.

my DD3 would also hate OP's choice of shoe, if that makes it any better, and refuses point blank to wear the regulation waterproof school coat.it means on foul days I take pity on her and run her to the bus stop.I know more fool me

*South Wales word for plimsoll

[bruffin]

DD wears a Jane Norman black coat (bought it cheap at labels for less) although not now weather is better.
I hate those plimsoll things for school and thankfully I don't think they would allow them at school.
She is quite happy with [[http://www.marksandspencer.com/Footglove-Leather-Widefit-Wedge-Pumps/dp/B002F58NIY?ie=UTF8&qid=126 8307530&categoryNodeID=42967030&ref=sr110&page=&node=216171031&sr=1-10&mnSBrand=core&rh= these] which gobsmacked me.
However she does keep telling me she doesn't do "fashion"

[bruffin]

sorry didn't do link properly

8307530&categoryNodeID=42967030&ref=sr110&page=&node=216171031&sr=1-10&mnSBrand=core&rh= these

[wotsitallabout]

No coat, all through the snow and ice and rain. Black lace up pumps like everyone else. It drives me nutty but I know I'm never going to win this battle. She has 3 decent jackets that she chose, so there is no excuse. It's all about what 'everyone else' is wearing. The funny thing is she would not wear black lace up pumps at primary school. Now we get through a pair a week. O and then there is the bag issue.

[BecauseImWorthIt]

Is this a girl thing?!

I have two boys; DS1 wore what I bought for him (although from around 14 he had to be involved in the choice) until he got to be about 16, then he started buying his own stuff. He's at sixth form college and can wear what he wants so it's a non-issue.

DS2 is 15 and wears whatever school shoes we buy, along with a coat that he's inherited from DS1. No bother!

[Jojo301]

the joy is that brogues are in fashion and my dd hs recvently agreed to wear some for school, rather than pumps that fall apart and can't be walked in.

[TequilaMockinBird]

wotsitallabout oh gawd, the bag issue! DD has a rucksack type bag and also a satchel type, both ideal for school and can fit all of her PE kit, books etc in.

Alas, they just aren't 'cool' and so she bought (with her own money), what can only be described as a handbag. Patent leather with a gold chain strap which she wears across her body. It will fit about 2 books in and a couple of pens, she carries the other books in her hand . On PE days, she also carries a carrier bag with her PE kit in!

!